With a Little Trepidation and a Hard Moment for Eby

Last night I learned that the general session videos from Refresh 2013 have been posted. A number of you have asked if you could hear my talk, and with a little trepidation, I’m sharing the link.  You may remember that my son, Isaiah, spoke briefly toward the end of my talk, and he was wonderful.

The Refresh Conference 2013 General Sessions

It’s often difficult to attend conferences. Arranging care for our children, getting time away from work, and dealing with the expenses keeps many of us home. Don’t let that stop you from taking advantage of the many free resources available online.  There were five other wonderful Refresh speakers, and all you have to do is set aside 30 – 40 min. to hear them.

Another free resource is the Empowered to Connect website which has many videos available that will bring Karyn Puvis, and Michael and Amy Monroe right into your home.

What other online resources would you recommend? Let’s put a list together and I’ll organize it into a post.

We had a little traumatic event here yesterday. I was in the kitchen and in the background, I heard Eby yelling outside. After a few moments, I realized he was outside alone, and his yells were not playful, but distressed. I ran out the front door, and Sunshine ran out the back, as we both looked for him.

I found my sad, frightened, son wedged between the fence post and the gate at the top of the pasture. It was closed with a chain and hooked shut.  He thought he could squeeze past the gate without opening it, but when he was halfway through, he got stuck. He tried to pull himself back, but couldn’t.  Then he tried sliding down toward the ground, and ended up wedged tightly in, lying on the cold dirt. It was so sad!

I tried to move his body in different ways to push him back through the space, but he was truly stuck. So I ran to find some wire cutters hoping I could cut the chain. Sunshine and Little Man comforted Eby; he didn’t want us to leave him alone. I grabbed my phone, shoes, and the wire cutter and had Sunshine call Russ while I tried to cut the chain, but had no success.

Russ sent Sunshine back into the garage to find another tool while I continued to try to cut the chain in various places. I was seriously wondering if Russ was going to have to race home from work, or if I should call 911. I’m pretty sure my husband or a fire fighter could have cut it in about 3 seconds.

The big tool Sunshine carried out finally did the trick. I cut the chain, feeling like Super Mamma, scooped my “little” boy up, and we all had a good hug in the  pasture.  When it was all said and done, Sunshine sat on my lap and cried a little; we talked about how scared we had been, and that the Lord had been with us every moment.

Have a great Wednesday, friends. Be sure to leave a comment with some of your favorite resources – let’s help one another find the encouragement and education we all need as we travel this road.

Lisa

 

 

 

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

27 Comments

  1. Heather Snyder
    March 6, 2013

    I love blogs….like yours. I also love Pinterest. It's a great way to find resources or activities to help my littles.

    Reply
  2. Mary (Owlhaven)
    March 6, 2013

    Thanks so much for sharing this link– I loved hearing your story!
    Mary

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 6, 2013

      You're welcome, Mary! Will they be recording your session at Created for Care? I would love to hear it.

      Reply
  3. Emily
    March 6, 2013

    Oh, Ebs!!!!

    Reply
  4. Tisha
    March 6, 2013

    I listened to it! You both were wonderful! It was such a pleasure to hear.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 6, 2013

      Thanks, Tisha. I'm glad you liked it and I'm looking forward to seeing you soon at the Embracing Orphans Retreat.

      Reply
  5. linedancergal
    March 6, 2013

    Oh poor Eby, and poor rest of you trying to help!
    Kind of cool in a way though. I always like it when a lesson is learned but no permanent damage was done. Can still be scary at the time though. Maybe he'll just climb over the gate or even open it next time!
    At least you can't complain that your life is boring!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 6, 2013

      No, life is never boring around here! I'm pretty sure he'll just unlatch the gate next time 🙂

      Reply
  6. Julie B.
    March 6, 2013

    Thanks for providing the link. I listened and appreciated your encouragement and words of truth. Thank you for continuing to affirm Jesus' power and presence. Blessings on you all!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 6, 2013

      You are welcome, Julie. Thanks for watching it.

      Reply
  7. erika
    March 6, 2013

    awwww Poor Eby

    Reply
  8. Sharon
    March 6, 2013

    What a story! So glad you were the one to be able to "cut" him to safety-whew! Can't wait to listen to your talk.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 6, 2013

      It was pretty scary for a few moments, mostly because Eby was so distressed. I'm so thankful I was able to get him out!

      Reply
  9. Amanda
    March 6, 2013

    Thank you for your honesty and transparency. We've just become foster parents so we are going to be able to put into practice what we've only "book learned" so far! I've really enjoyed Greg Lucas' perspective and gospel encouragements for the world of disability and adoption:
    http://sheepdogger.blogspot.ca/search?updated-max

    The Glory of God in the Valley of Disability: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaylEK68g_A

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 6, 2013

      Thanks, Amanda. Greg Lucas is completely new to me.

      Reply
  10. Christine
    March 7, 2013

    He'll likely process this for a long while. When my bio daughter was 6 she accidentally got locked out of church and after about 20 minutes decided to climb a 6 foot fence to be able to get back in the front door. Why no one came looking for her and how scary it was were frequent points of discussion for months and to this day (she's almost 8), whenever the subject of scary things comes up it's quickly something she mentions.

    Reply
  11. Lisa Qualls
    March 7, 2013

    Christine, your comment reminds me of something we learned when we read The Whole-Brain Child as a group. Children (and all of us) need to tell the story of an event over and over again in order to process it, make sense of it, and then find some resolution. I think this morning, I'll encourage Eby to tell me the story. Thanks for the prompt.

    Reply
    1. Kirstine
      March 10, 2013

      I think many children have episodes like this at some point. A few weeks ago I had the sunday school at our church and the Bible story was about the lost sheep. Before I knew it I had the whole group of kids sharing on experiences of being lost – in the supermarket, or forgotten somewhere. And yes – we do need to share it over and over.

      Reply
  12. Sharon
    March 7, 2013

    Listened to your talk while on the treadmill this morning. I've been near tears on the treadmill from pain before, but not like this morning! Thank you so much for sharing this, it was so encouraging.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 7, 2013

      Sharon, I can almost imagine it – running along with tears on your face. I've done it a few times myself. Thanks for watching my talk.

      Reply
  13. Lizzy
    March 9, 2013

    Can you reshare the quote from Isaiah's speech from Elizabeth _____ from Hospice. A wonderful presentation and I have learned from your story.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 9, 2013

      Hi Lizzie, thanks for asking. It is in this post: https://www.onethankfulmom.com/the-daily/beautiful

      Reply
  14. Tricia
    March 9, 2013

    Becky Bailey's Conscious Discipline work is great. A local preschool has DVDs you can check out. She has a lot on you tube as well. I love the ETC resources as well.

    Reply
  15. Kirstine
    March 10, 2013

    Thanks for sharing the link – I will look forward to hearing it.

    I just heard a sermon – something as rare as a preaching on affliction and suffering. He talks about many things around the subject and one of them is how we can help others through what we have learned in our own suffering. By being honest and open. It made me think of you and what you do here at your blog.

    Well, here it is: http://marshill.com/media/who-do-you-think-you-ar
    I know many of your readers are going through hard seasons so I thought I'd just share it.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 10, 2013

      Kirstine, thank you for the sermon link – I look forward to hearing it. I often need encouragement that my suffering opens opportunities for me to serve others.

      Reply
  16. Alicia
    March 11, 2013

    Thank you for sharing this! I have been mourning being unable to leave my kids to attend the Empowered to Connect conference in April. Listening to these talks is soothing me!

    I was very encouraged by your story. Thank you for including your son. We have 4 bio kids and a little guy (age 5) that we adopted almost 3 years ago now. His journey was hard – at first. But we were lucky and made it over that hump into the sweet spot.

    I believe God is calling us to adopt again. Although the details of that future adoption are not clear to us yet, I am battling fear. I know that not all stories end as simply as ours seems to have ended. I get scared about what God may ask of our family. Scared for my kids. Just scared. I know so much more now than I did when we started our first adoption journey, and I am just not sure "I" want to risk the level of hard that could be just around the corner.

    You and your son made me less fearful – and way more inspired. Thank you for being honest, Godly, humble, and so very brave.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 11, 2013

      Thank you so much, Alicia. I'm glad our talk was helpful to you – it was a leap of faith for me to be that vulnerable, and I think it was the right thing to do. I'm so glad your little boy is doing well!

      Reply

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