Why I Love Blog Comments

Good news!  We are scheduled for an intensive at The Attachment and Trauma Center of Nebraska for the week of September 17 – 21. It’s wonderful and a little scary to travel to an unknown place for Dimples’ treatment, but we are very hopeful that EMDR will bring significant healing to her.  I’ll have lots more to share on EMDR as we learn, and I’ll definitely document our experience.

I love blog comments for many reasons – I know my words aren’t just disappearing into a void.  You really are out there! I also value your thoughts on what I am sharing; comments create something of a forum here.  I get to learn from you, share your experiences, and in this small way, we do life together.

Ann left a comment on a recent post (My Learning Curve: Strangely Quiet) that I think is worth mentioning.  I was writing about the constant talking that some of our children from “hard places” exhibit.  Sometimes they develop a “loop” about a certain topic that becomes their default when they don’t know what else to talk about.  In Dimples case, it is most often about her birthday.

Ann commented,

I feel called to mention that this kind of endless looping might be helped with medication. While there’s obviously a psychological cause at work–and therapy plus behavior modification can work wonders–there may well be a biological, brain-chemistry cause as well. Only meds can address that piece of the problem, and the benefits could be life-altering for Dimples and your family.

We know that trauma causes physical changes in the brain. We wouldn’t deny insulin to a child, but many well-meaning people are unaware of the fact that mental illness is also a physical illness, and one that can be helped medically. Forgive me if you’ve already looked into this…

I appreciate Ann bringing this up because  I agree that behaviors like this may be helped by medication.  I would encourage any parent with a child who is really struggling to seek professional help and create a team that includes a medical professional, such as a psychiatrist, who can provide insight into the finer details of brain chemistry. I read a comment on a parenting forum by a mom who said that a year ago she didn’t know the difference between a psychologist and psychiatrist – I had to smile.  It’s amazing the way our worlds expand as we parent our children. And in case you’re wondering, a psychiatrist is a medical doctor with an MD, and a psychologist has a PhD or PsyD in psychology.

There are nine people sitting in the living room around me making it a little hard to concentrate on writing – but providing all kinds of interesting side conversations.  Russ has hidden away in his “office” to work with few distractions.  One of the great things about being a professor is that he can take much of his work wherever he goes – as long as he has good internet access.

I am going to order more school books today and do a little more homeschooling prep.  Hopefully the sun will come out soon and the kids will spend hours playing on the beach.  A trip to the super fun thrift store may in order as well.

Thanks so much for reading,

Lisa

 

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

12 Comments

  1. Jennifer Anderson
    August 8, 2012

    yeah! so glad to hear that you have a date. Love you guys! That backs up to a Denver week for me. Im so tempted to make a trip to Omaha 🙂 lol

    Reply
  2. Chantelle
    August 8, 2012

    Our daughter with attachment issues tends to get 'stuck' on topics too but we have noticed a decrease in the repetitive behaviors since she began medication. — Again thanks for blogging! 🙂

    Reply
  3. Amy
    August 8, 2012

    I am always so encouraged by your honest transparency. Praying this next chapter is a helpful one for your family.

    Reply
  4. mamitaj
    August 8, 2012

    I also love to read through your comments. You have a wealth of knowledge in your readers that is awesome!

    Reply
  5. zehlahlum
    August 8, 2012

    I can relate to the woman who didn't know the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist. My story that I think is just so funny is that two years (and this was after we were home and struggling) ago I thought that the abbreviation for Reactive Attachment Disorder was pronounced "R-A-D". Oh, that blissful ignorance. lol

    Reply
  6. Katie Patel
    August 8, 2012

    OH my….I learn something every time I read your blog! The endless loop: I thought I was the only one being driven insane by that (and I have two that do it). Definitely helps to hear this is common with trauma and it gives me hope that maybe something can take care of it.
    And so glad you are doing EMDR….my experience with it was been very insightful and healing….
    hugs,
    Katie

    Reply
  7. Anne
    August 8, 2012

    We are family whose child required medication at the young age of 4 due to RAD. The behaviors escalated to the point our attachment therapist felt his problems were two fold and therapy alone just wasn't going to do. I felt the medication allowed us to reach our son and to teach him proper behaviors and attachment with a more settled child. The medication reduced his anxiety, rages, and overall need to control all situations. I am happy to report he was slowly weaned off his medication and has just recently stopped it and is doing well .We still have behaviors from time to time but he is able to manage them better. I am interested to see how the EMDR works for you daughter, I will be praying for restoration in her life and hopefully a new beginning for your whole family. I am inspired by your courage and fight during this difficult time. I know the heartache and emotional strain it can be on families trying so desperately to help their children. May God Bless You and Keep You!!!

    Reply
  8. Amy
    August 9, 2012

    We dont know much about EMDR – we have had live in attachment therapists, have done noise reduction therapy, have read just about every attachment book, but not much has helped. Can you explain what EMDR is…:-)?

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 9, 2012

      Amy, I found this link helpful. I'm still learning, so I don't trust myself to explain it my own words yet.
      http://consults.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/16/expe

      Reply
      1. kod
        August 13, 2012

        I had EMDR for my own traumatic situation(s) and found it surprisingly effective! Many best wishes to you all.

        Reply
  9. Hopefulmom
    August 10, 2012

    I just met with a parent of one of my students for this fall (I teach in a Christian school) and she told me about her son's looping and how only meds helped (after a long journey to get to the point of even trying them). She said it's OCD related and when they finally got to the point of no one in the family getting any sleep and the affected child being totally miserable 24/7 they decided it couldn't hurt to try. She said it was such a blessing as he can now sleep and only occasionally gets stuck in a much milder loop. Just thought I'd pass that on!

    Reply
  10. Ann
    August 13, 2012

    We're friends with a couple who for ten years resisted meds for their son with ADHD. When they saw the changes meds brought to his life, and how much happier he was at being able to settle down and focus, they were overwhelmed with regret for not having started him at age five, when the doctor first suggested it.

    Reply

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