"Why Did They Have to Eat the Fruit?"

It’s 2:00 in the afternoon and the house is quiet because even during Spring Break, perhaps more than ever during Spring Break, we are having Quiet Hour.  Don’t confuse Quiet Hour with nap time because “naps are for babies.”  Quiet Hour gives everyone a chance to decompress with a little solitude.  Reading is encouraged, quiet play is fine, listening to Adventures in Odyssey is acceptable.  For Dimples, who is not accustomed to Quiet Hour, listening to Hannah Montana while drawing also meets the requirements.

Last night we learned the sad news that the father of one of Samuel’s friends passed away very unexpectedly yesterday.  This friend, Stephen, is a favorite of the younger kids, so they were very sad when I told them.  Eby finally fell apart when we sat down to read after lunch.  We read a short bit in the Bible, and then I went on to Leading Little Ones to God, and  Eby began to cry saying, “Why did Adam and Eve have to eat the fruit?  Why did they do it?  I don’t want to die.  I don’t want to die.”   We talked about what happens when a Christian dies and that Stephen’s father is already with Jesus.  But, of course, even that does not ease sadness for children who have lost their own parents.  Loss of a father or mother touches deep into my children’s souls.

I tried to comfort Eby, but after the stress of the morning, with Dimples trying to navigate through the day, and Eby and Little Man’s well-known routine upset, there was no going back.  He finally headed up to his bed while I finished reading to Dimples and Little Man.

Now it is quiet and I am sitting down to write, but all I can think of is Stephen and his family – and Honeybee, Dimples, Eby, and Little Man – so many losses for them all.

#821 – 830 giving thanks

sitting close and holding hands in sorrow


remembering that life is precious

the comfort of God’s Word

the sure knowledge that Jesus loves us and has a plan for our lives

and that He will never leave us nor forsake us

afternoon plans for Honeybee and Dimples

learning more about prayer

Mimi spending the afternoon with us yesterday while Andrew worked

safe travel for Russ, Ladybug, Sunshine and Russ’ sister


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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.


  1. Emily
    March 12, 2012

    Come, Lord Jesus.

  2. Heidi
    March 12, 2012

    Why indeed? Praying for you and your children this afternoon.

  3. Laura
    March 12, 2012

    We are praying for guidance on how to help young adults—especially boys–voice their concern and pain at Stephen's father's passing. So far sleep, quiet conversation about unimportant stuff, and x-box seem to be helping.

  4. sleepyknitter
    March 12, 2012

    I agree with Eby!!!

    How could the "eating of fruit" have lead to the absolutely horrific suffering that billions of people have experienced for at least the last six thousand years? I follow God and I believe His Word is inspired and is His Truth, but I must confess this one story, this First Story, is very hard for me to "take" as is, and I often wonder if He intended it to be a literal recounting or just a story that helps us understand the beginning. I'm no scholar, so it's hard to trust anything that I read about whether that first story is the literal truth or God's way of making the truth understandable, but I do wonder, can't help but wonder as I read stories of war, abuse, neglect, and so forth. How could one person's sin cause so much misery, such deep and terrible misery? And several thousand years later, how could One Person's sacrifice make such a difference? I'm too literal — I don't know how to understand it all. Thank God that He doesn't expect us to!

    As "Emily" said in her comment, "Come, Lord Jesus."

    I don't know that our two younger children have any real concept of death, but I think our two older, who have grown up in orphanages, are aware that some children who "leave" the orphanage aren't going to forever families. Our oldest is also somewhat aware that her own health situations are complex. She doesn't talk about death (ha! she doesn't talk to us about anything!), but I have often wondered how aware she is of the delicate nature of her life. I don't know if I will ever be able to have a conversation with her about this issue.

    May the God of all comfort bring peace to your children and Stephen and his family.

  5. Heidi
    March 12, 2012

    So hard! Have you heard of the book, "Someday Heaven" by Larry Libby? It is a beautiful children's book that answers questions about Heaven. Praying for healing inspite of all the losses.

  6. Cindy
    March 13, 2012

    Heaven is for Real for children, Lisa you just gotta get it!!!! It brings comfort to children to see and hear a childs perspective on Heaven and Gods promise of life after death:)

  7. Ellen
    March 13, 2012

    Longing for heaven.

  8. Laurel
    March 15, 2012

    I haven't read the children's edition, but our whole family LOVED "Heaven is for Real". (I read it as a bedtime story … a chapter a night.)

    There is a chapter about miscarriage … and not too long after reading it, we lost our baby last spring. It was a very powerful way for our youngest to understand death and heaven.

    I'm sure your older kids would appreciate it, as well. It is definitely a kid-to-adult book.

    🙂 🙂 🙂


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