Where are They This Summer? [Beza]

Beza and Hannah

Beza’s summer is off to a great start. First, she finished her school year earning academic honors, and best of all, she enjoyed her teachers and classes.

Second, she got a job! Beza is a hard worker, but it’s not always easy to get a job at fifteen. She was hired by a cleaning company and is learning how to clean thoroughly and quickly. It’s extra fun because she and Annarose often work together. [I am more than a little excited to have two daughters who are being trained to be professional cleaners!]

Beza raising money for camp with the youth group.
Beza raising money for camp with the youth group. photo by Brent Billings

On  Tuesday she flew to Colorado to visit my friend Emily’s family. Emily’s daughter, Phoebe, has become Beza’s dear friend and they’ve gotten to see each other the past few summers. At the end of the week Beza will head up into the mountains to camp; Phoebe usually goes as well, but she is spending the rest of the summer in China. Emily is one of my best friends and the camp nurse, so Beza will get some special time with her. She’ll also see several friends from her orphanage in Ethiopia.  It’s going to be an all-round wonderful trip.

beza et denver

Last night she had the excitement of a tornado warning and spent time in Emily’s basement. When they emerged, she was thrilled with the piles of hail and even sent me a video. They celebrated by going out for Ethiopian food, which is a huge treat for Beza.

As we drove to the airport last Tuesday, we talked about how it will feel to be at camp following our loss of Kalkidan. Some people will want to talk about her, and others won’t, and we have to accept that. It’s also okay not to get into long conversations if it feels difficult. I remember talking about this with Annarose and Beza before they went back to school. As we visited at our house following the memorial service, Emily suggested that Beza practice some simple scripts so she wouldn’t have to figure out what to say in the moment. That is good advice for this week too.

Beza is doing so well; she’s made incredible progress in her own healing and in her desire/ability to connect with the family. She wrote me a beautiful Mother’s Day card this year; I may be able to share some of it, but I didn’t think to ask before she left. She also gave me this beautiful necklace with two hearts entwined, representing my heart and hers.

beza necklace

Adopting older children is complicated and sometimes very messy – for them and for us. We’ve had many struggles and heartbreaks, but now we’re in a sweeter place. I hope I can encourage you with this post. We’ve come a long, long way.

Thank you so much for reading, friends. My heart is very heavy this week, and I would be grateful for your prayers.

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

11 Comments

  1. Mary DeGennaro
    June 25, 2015

    Thanks for your honesty, Lisa. I will be praying for you this week.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      June 25, 2015

      You're welcome,Mary – and thank you for your prayers.

      Reply
  2. Alisa
    June 25, 2015

    Praying for you.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      June 25, 2015

      Thank you, Alisa.

      Reply
  3. Luann Yarrow Doman
    June 25, 2015

    Beza sounds like a ray of sunshine. I pray she will find rest and comfort this summer, and that her healing will continue.

    Reply
  4. Emily
    June 25, 2015

    Omigosh. This. All of it. !!!!!

    Reply
  5. pfm
    June 25, 2015

    I am so happy to hear news of Beza. She is not often a part of your stories which makes me think about how she is doing and appreciate your news. Best of luck and love to her.

    Reply
  6. Mary Ostyn
    June 25, 2015

    Praying for you, Lisa! Hugs,
    Mary

    Reply
  7. Susan Ringoen
    June 26, 2015

    You've been on my heart and mind this week. I'm praying for you <3

    Reply
  8. Joelle
    June 26, 2015

    What a lovely gift. I'm so glad to hear how well Beza is doing. I pray for her as the Lord brings her to mind.

    Reply
  9. Chris
    June 26, 2015

    So hard to face such a big anniversary..take time to be sad, be together, and make memories
    Hugs

    Reply

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