Tuesday's Answers: What Led You to Adopt?

One of Eby's Referral Photos - such a sweet, sad boy

Thank you to everyone who took the time to answer our Tuesday Topic: What Led You to Adopt? There were many great responses, so many that you really need to go to the original post and read  them.

I thought it would be interesting if I pulled some quotes from the comments, so you can get a taste of the great things people shared.

“It was God. There’s no other explanation.”

“Over the months, the desire to have another biological child faded. Then it was gone; and I mean completely. Within six months we had submitted our paperwork. Our license was then expedited (and changed) to accommodate three fabulous girls. Our only placement.”

“People would bring up adoption wherever we went, even the check out clerk at the grocery store. The final straw was when my husband took me to the post office to send a package to his mother. He waited in the car and wondered why it was taking me so long. When I came out I told him how the clerk went on and on about adoption… her husband was an orphan, her best friend and her 2 siblings were adopted, etc. I asked my husband what he thought all of this meant to which he replied… I think you need to stay out of the post office!”

“It was such a strong pull on my heart that my husband knew it must be God’s will or he would not have placed it there. His fears had to do with a bad adoption by a family memeber long ago, which he needed to let go of. It was a total faith journey for us.”

“The main reason that we adopted was that we were not able to have children. That did not lead me to the conclusion, though, that we were not to have children.”

“When I was six, my family took donations to an orphanage in Mexico. I played with the orphans there and saw how they lived and how happy they were with the little they had. I could not shake the image of barefoot kids living in cinderblock buildings with dirt floors. I begged my parents to adopt. They chose not to.”

“…for us it really only came down to one question. . . “How could it not be God’s Will to adopt?”

“I was best friends in High School with a girl who had been adopted at 7 years old along with her two biological sisters from Columbia and her brother from India. I watched her learn English, struggle with some health issues due to malnutrition before she was adopted and we cried many tears together as she shared hard and good memories of her life in Columbia.”

“And then we decided to offer ourselves as adoptive parrents in an open adoption. OAs are very rare in our country, but she did decide to place and she did choose us.”

“Then one day in 2006 I saw some headline or advertisement or something about adoption and I had a moment where I just realized…I can really do this. So I did. I was single for that adoption…but married my husband soon after my son came home.”

“The impact that going to the airport and watching these exhausted relief workers carrying armload after armload of babies off the plane identified only by the tags on their legs has never left me. The plane we met at SeaTac was one of the last ones – from reading I believe that many of the flights after it were either shot down or unable to leave at all and the children perished.”

“When our son died suddenly at the age of fourteen our lives were forever changed. Suddenly, things that had been put off seemed very urgent. The incidental worries of life didn’t seem so important. We knew in our hearts that we needed to pursue adoption. We had love, experience, and time to give children and we knew there were plenty of children out there who needed us.”

“Our first choice, of course, would be for all children to have good homes and not live in poverty or strife and that there not be a NEED for adoption. Not being magical, we decided to do what we thought we could.”

“It was as if God was speaking to us as the only people in the room. We thought, “but we already have five beautiful kids.” But once again were struck….”we have so much.” So much love in our house, so much space to share, so much of Christ to give to others, so much room in our hearts.”

“After a vasectomy reversal in 2000 we started praying that if this is not what God had planned for us that He would guide and direct in our lives with adoption and we started praying for those children that may even at that point be waiting for us!”

“I am in Amy’s same place – for years we have been talking about adoption, praying about adoption, and searching for God’s will for our family.”

“That seed was amply watered through blogs, books, and Scripture…orphans are the heart of God, and so He called us to share in that. While there are many ways to care for orphans, we knew that if we DIDN’T adopt, we would clearly be ignoring God’s nudging.”

“I needed another baby and I knew there was a baby who needed a mami.”

“I came home that evening, walked into the room where Steve was watching the game and blurted out, “What do you think about adopting a little girl from Russia?” He gave me the “deer in the headlights” look, and proceeded to say, “I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Can you imagine being 24 years old and being told that you might never be able to have another child. Please don’t think me selfish, I LOVE my daughters with ALL of my heart and am thankful for them everyday but our family feels…unfinished.”

“My best friend in high school was a foster child that was never adopted. She aged out of the system with no family. She has had some rocky times and I see the effect of not having a forever home has had on her.”

As I compiled these excerpts, I was moved by your comments; thank you again for sharing this part of your lives with us.

If you would like to add your answer to the question, “What led you to adopt?”, please leave it as a comment on this post or the original one.

As for me, it was a friend who shared numbers like this that led us to adoption:

Today, 6,500 people will die as a result of AIDS.

6,000 of those people will leave behind children.

Those children will join the already 15 million children who have lost parents to this treatable disease.

(From HIV to Home)

You can read the story of our decision to adopt in my very first blog post, “How One Phone Call Changed Our Lives” from June 2006.  How my life has changed since I typed those first words!


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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.


  1. dorothy
    April 21, 2010


  2. Julie
    April 21, 2010

    Wow…just reading these snipets…God is doing big things on a global basis in the hearts of individuals. It's so neat to be a part of His plan.

  3. Wendy
    April 21, 2010

    Thanks for sharing all of the responses! I love hearing how God has worked!

  4. Amy
    April 23, 2010



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