Ashley sent me an email with this great question:
As we move closer and closer to finishing our adoption “work” and the word has begun to spread through our “community” about our adoption, I am being—more and more—confronted with conversations that honestly? Make my blood boil! Typically it goes something like this:
“Oh, you guys are adopting? That’s really great, there’s a huge need” (no harm yet, right??)
“I think that’s really awesome, I have just always wanted MY OWN KIDS”.
That phrase? Those 3 words? They stop me in my tracks. They anger me. They hurt my heart… As if, somehow? My path is less REAL than their path??? BUT. While I know how I feel about statements like that, I am also cautious to respond in an abrasive or defensive manner.
I WANT people to ask questions about adoption. I WANT to have the opportunities to speak freely about our family’s heart towards the need, our desire for children and a big-beautiful-even colorful family, and our trust in God to walk with us on our journey…
But, I also NEED to be able to teach others about the harm that statements like that cause…and hopefully do it in a way that is loving and reassuring so that they can still ask questions and learn more, but also recognize that they should NEVER suggest that our families are any less “real”.
Hoping someone out there can help???
I’m guessing you all just might have some thoughts on this one, so let’s hear them.
I will post your responses on Monday, July 12th.
Encourage one another,
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