Tuesday Topic: Does Spring Bring Challenges?

Hi Friends!  Yes, it is hard to believe but here is my second Tuesday Topic in a row; even I am amazed.  This is a simple question that nearly all of us can answer.

My friend, Jennifer, wrote:

Do other moms of kids from” hard places” notice a big spike in troublesome behaviors when spring arrives?

How about it?  Are your kids struggling more than usual as spring settles in?  In some parts of the country spring has been present for weeks, but at my house, it feels like it arrived today.  The daffodils in my garden have just begun to bloom, the grass is getting greener, and the children are able to play outside without wearing layers of clothing and snow boots.

This is an easy question so don’t hold back.  Leave a quick comment and share your thoughts – we want to hear from you.

Encourage one another,

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. coffeemom
    May 3, 2011

    YES! I think it's the mixed combo: anticipation of being able to do fun summer stuff but not quite being there, burnout from school in general and winter on top, rain, stir crazy, and still…..knowing that the schedule/routine is changing fast which for these (mY) kids..is very very stressful. Even if that schedule is changing with happy events, if they are not routine, it's a stress and if the structure disappears/changes (out of school for summer) then it's also a stress. So….yeah, anticipatory, hypervigiliant, nervous stress. Which all equals acting out. And mom, me, looking at it w/ some fear and trembling. Just saying…..

    Reply
    1. Amy
      May 3, 2011

      Bingo! You're so right, friend! We're in a spurt of some good days, but I know the end of the school year will bring some mayhem. And knowing it's coming doesn't make it any easier to deal with, does it?

      Reply
  2. blessed
    May 3, 2011

    Is it just the kids from the hard places? My neuro-typical, well-bonded (?) birth children are just really unpleasant at the moment. So much yucky, and it all seems to be focused at ME. They see ME as the bad guy, the one who always punishes them, keeps them from doing what they want, yadda yadda. So much so that a gentle correction from me will send one in particular into a complete crying angry-face hissy fit. Ok, actually she is in her room in a time out for it right now (she is 10). And #2 is lying on my bed with weepy angry eyes because I am so mean to make her do her math.

    So, it might not just be your kids–it might be all of ours! What's up with THAT?

    And, as a completely related side issue, any advice from any of you moms on how to deal with kids who are acting like you are the worst mom in the world–when you are actually being on your best behaviour and don't deserve their flak? : )

    Reply
    1. Amy
      May 3, 2011

      O.K. Can I say that reading this comment made me feel a lot better about my adopted 10 yr. old who often acts not so pleasant when she doesn't get her way? It's often a good reality check for me to hear that maybe SOME of the stuff my kids throw at me might just be age and stage stuff.

      Reply
  3. dorothy
    May 3, 2011

    Oh yes – daylight savings, changes on playtime dynamics, the stress of 'summer' coming at us. Almost as bad as Christmas!

    Reply
  4. Lauren
    May 3, 2011

    YES! I chalk it up to the new "schedule." Our days are not the same, predictable, schedule as they were in winter. Spring brings outside time when it's not raining or too windy, it can be in the morning or after lunch or not until after dinner, it just depends on the weather. We also have end of the school year activities that cause our normal schedule to be a little out of whack. It all adds up to less structure, which can cause my little man stress and then the troublesome behavior sets in. I have been trying to sit my son down in the morning and talk about what the day will look like. This seems to help some.

    Reply
  5. Lisa H.
    May 3, 2011

    I'm very interested to hear the answers to this post. We have noticed a "trouble" pattern in the Spring for our son, adopted as an older child with many issues, and unfortunately, it's been a huge "upswing" in violence and aggression. :o( The other pattern that we've seen with one of our children, adopted as a preschooler, is depression in the fall, with many more tears and much more moodiness and sensitivity. Hope you get lots of posts on this, as an informal poll!

    Reply
  6. Cindy
    May 3, 2011

    Oh. My. Goodness. YES! E.V.E.R.Y. Spring! We struggle and struggle. For at least the last 11 years spring has been our Most. Difficult. Season. I wish I could understand it.

    What a great question. I'm looking forward to reading the replies.

    Blessings,
    Cindy

    Reply
    1. Cindy
      May 4, 2011

      I think I should add… fall is tough, winter is some better, spring is… well, more difficult than I can say and summer is some better. My daughters birthday is in spring, her adoption was final in the fall. She is extraordinarily aggressive and self injurious during these seasons in addition to irritable and destructive. Over time I've also realized how angry she seems to be during these seasons… angry at things she doesn't understand nor can she define. Add all that to puberty and sometimes we have a whirling dervish.

      Reply
  7. Jennifer
    May 3, 2011

    Our daughter's Gotcha Day and Birthday day are both in April within 2 wks of each other. Her behaviors usually start up more intensely sometime in March and then gradually ease as summer approaches. The last two years the behaviors started earlier in February as her sister was born to us February 2010.

    Reply
  8. jennifer
    May 3, 2011

    yes. spring and october!

    Reply
  9. Kerrie
    May 4, 2011

    Oh dear heavens YES!!!! But I always thought it was because spring had their placement with us, disruption of their transition back to first mom, the part where school gets academically harder, Princess's birthday (where she didn't get to keep first-mom's gifts–twice), Josh's birthday, the Cuddle Bear's birthday, and OH THE HORROR! Mother's Day. I didn't realize others saw it too, that it's, er, "normal," if you will.

    Reply
  10. learningpatience
    May 4, 2011

    Hmmmm – my first reaction is to say that it's the opposite for us: "Gus" needs a great amount of large motor exercise, so the long winter is so very difficult. Then when she is able to get out and run and run and run, life improves dramatically!

    That said, it is hard to get schoolwork done, and it is hard to not be distracted and it is hard to navigate all of the changes in routine that spring brings. . . but those things are par for the course anyway! 🙂

    Reply
  11. Julie
    May 4, 2011

    I thought it was just us. 🙂

    Cupcake came home in May and we had a month of beautiful weather when she got here. So when the days turn warm and sunny, we see a spike in insecurity.

    Plus, I think allergies are playing into it to.

    Reply
  12. Heather
    May 6, 2011

    Spring is kind of rough (disruption in April and again in May when they came to us). For us it's October that's the worst. The newness of the school year has settled into drudgery and we also tackle removal from bmom anniversary and a disruption anniversary in October and November.

    Reply
  13. ashleychristian
    May 6, 2011

    I wonder if it has anything to do with allergies/histamine??? I know the grown ups around our house are pretty miserable and itchy!

    Reply

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