I have at least six unfinished blog posts that may make it here one day, but I can’t seem to get much time on the computer and honestly, my heart just isn’t in it. My Honeybee is struggling with great sadness over the losses in her life. It is hard to be strong for her because her sadness sweeps over me and I find myself carrying it with her. “His yoke is easy and His burden is light,” these words come to me, yet this burden does not feel light today.
I assure her that she belongs to Jesus and that He has a plan for her life – a plan to bless her, to give her a future and a hope. As I say the words, I remind myself that they are also true for me. My life is His, I belong to Him, and he has a plan to bless me too. Parenting children from the “hard places” is not a sprint, it is a marathon of love, dedication, and digging deep into every resource we have. But we have every reason to hope! We are not alone in this race, we have the greatest healer of broken hearts with us who loves our children even more than we do.
For many months I have planned to attend the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in Minneapolis with the other From HIV to Home ladies. I also invited one of my best friends to come and I was completely surprised when she agreed. We are scheduled to leave in the morning and I feel burdened in my heart. I am willing to cancel, but in talking it through with Russ this morning, we agreed that I should go.
Honeybee and I also talked for a long time and I think she will be fine while I am gone. We are making a detailed schedule for her and she will be with good friends every day. I wish I could bring her along, but booking a flight at this late date is not financially possible. She plans to sleep in my favorite pajamas and keep a picture of the two of us close. I’ve told her she can call me anytime and I will pick up – even if it means stepping out of a session.
I pray that if there is a reason I should not go, God will knock me upside the head with it. In the meantime, I’m going to pack and get the menu and kids’ schedules posted, finish the laundry, and move forward. I hope that this time of fellowship with other women will restore and encourage me – and that I will grasp all that the Lord wants for me from the Summit speakers. Did I mention that Karyn Purvis is speaking?
I’ll get back just in time to celebrate Eby’s fifth birthday, and then I imagine I’ll spend the weekend rocking my Honeybee and giving lots of hugs to my little ones. I’ll give you all an update next week.