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One Thankful Mom - Lisa Qualls

Honest reflections on family, adoption, foster care, and faith.

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The Marathon of Therapeutic Parenting

By Lisa Qualls

I have at least six unfinished blog posts that may make it here one day, but I can’t seem to get much time on the computer and honestly, my heart just isn’t in it.  My Honeybee is struggling with great sadness over the losses in her life.  It is hard to be strong for her because her sadness sweeps over me and I find myself carrying it with her.  “His yoke is easy and His burden is light,” these words come to me, yet this burden does not feel light today.

I assure her that she belongs to Jesus and that He has a plan for her life – a plan to bless her, to give her a future and a hope.  As I say the words, I remind myself that they are also true for me.  My life is His, I belong to Him, and he has a plan to bless me too.  Parenting children from the “hard places” is not a sprint, it is a marathon of love, dedication, and digging deep into every resource we have.  But we have every reason to hope!  We are not alone in this race, we have the greatest healer of broken hearts with us who loves our children even more than we do.

For many months I have planned to attend the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in Minneapolis with the other From HIV to Home ladies.  I also invited one of my best friends to come and I was completely surprised when she agreed.  We are scheduled to leave in the morning and I feel burdened in my heart.  I am willing to cancel, but in talking it through with Russ this morning, we agreed that I should go.

Honeybee and I also talked for a long time and I think she will be fine while I am gone.  We are making a detailed schedule for her and she will be with good friends every day.  I wish I could bring her along, but booking a flight at this late date is not financially possible.  She plans to sleep in my favorite pajamas and keep a picture of the two of us close.  I’ve told her she can call me anytime and I will pick up – even if it means stepping out of a session.

I pray that if there is a reason I should not go, God will knock me upside the head with it.  In the meantime, I’m going to pack and get the menu and kids’ schedules posted, finish the laundry, and move forward.  I hope that this time of fellowship with other women will restore and encourage me – and that I will grasp all that the Lord wants for me from the Summit speakers.  Did I mention that Karyn Purvis is speaking?

I’ll get back just in time to celebrate Eby’s fifth birthday, and then I imagine I’ll spend the weekend rocking my Honeybee and giving lots of hugs to my little ones.  I’ll give you all an update next week.

Blessings friends,

~Lisa

April 27, 2010 11 Comments

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Donna says

    April 27, 2010 at 11:08 pm

    I will be praying for you both this weekend.

    I will try not to be too envious of you being at the summit!

    Delighting in Him
    Donna

    Reply
  2. Lisa H. says

    April 27, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    I'm a little jealous of you, for the break, the time with other moms and getting to hear Dr. Purvis…but I'm SO happy for you too! :o) I hope you have a grand time that will be truly refreshing!

    A hug to you!

    Lisa H.

    Reply
  3. laurel says

    April 27, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    Hope your time is BLESSED! Sounds like a wonderful place to get encouragement for the tough road of adopting children from the "hard places".

    Really liked your comment about this type of parenting being a marathon, not a sprint. We made it past a HUGE hill on our marathon, but we are not anywhere near sprinting down the hill to the end. We have a lot of hills left, with a child from a "hard place". After many years, she is no longer being continually wounded, but her scars run deep … very very deep. Praying that the Lord gives us wisdom in how to best care for the scars that are left from her open wounds.

    mama of a dozen

    Reply
  4. Tressa says

    April 28, 2010 at 12:17 am

    Enjoy the conference. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  5. Jennifer LB says

    April 28, 2010 at 1:26 am

    Hugs to you Lisa!

    Reply
  6. April says

    April 28, 2010 at 1:52 am

    Oh Lisa you had me at Therapeutic Parenting. It is isn't it? Giving everything and wondering if it's enough only to realize that His grace IS sufficient. There are moments when I think, I'm not doing this right. She will be broken and I can't help her and it will be my fault and all I can pray is Jesus, Jesus, Jesus because I can't find the words.
    Prayers for your sweet girl and many, many prayers for your trip tomorrow. May God speak to you in a powerful way.
    April

    Reply
  7. Shannon says

    April 28, 2010 at 2:31 am

    So hard. Hugs

    Reply
  8. Jolene says

    April 28, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    Even though your heart may feel tired. May you know what an encouragement this blog is to my husband and I. In a community with little adoption support and a precious boy who struggles with his life in the "hard places". I can't tell you how your words spoke to me. It made me take a breath and realize this isn't a sprint it's a marathon and I am running it with the one who knows my sons needs better than I ever could. Thank You Lord Jesus and thank you for your blog and honesty. May the Lord refresh you this weekend.

    Reply
  9. Donna says

    April 28, 2010 at 11:52 pm

    Hi, I posted a blog award for you on my blog!:)

    Reply
  10. Julie says

    April 30, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    Praying still for you and Honeybee. 🙂

    Reply
  11. Beth says

    May 3, 2010 at 4:11 am

    I will pray for you and Honeybee. I hope you time away is blessed and encouraging and your homecoming is sweet.

    Reply

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Mentoring adoptive and foster moms with                   practical help and hope.I serve families by providing practical tools and hope through my private membership group, The Hope Circle, as well as parent coaching, marriage mentoring, speaking, and writing. As a mom of 12 by birth and adoption (and more through foster care), wife of 35 years, and a Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI®) Practitioner, I’m honored to walk alongside you as you navigate your family’s unique journey.

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