Tuesday Topic: How Do you Cope with Developmental Gaps Between Siblings?

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Today’s Tuesday Topic comes for Cindy, who asks a question that many of us grapple with (I know we do). How do we parent children with different levels of ability – not shaming or discouraging one, while also not holding other children back?

We have two bio kids ages 9 (girl) and 12 (boy), plus a foster kid aged 10 (boy) in between the other two that we have had in our home for over two years and are in the process of adopting. The bio kids are in advanced classes at school, catch on quickly, and are determined to work hard and succeed. Our middle child, however, struggles greatly with executive functioning and becomes easily overwhelmed even if something “seems” too hard for him or if it includes hard work of any kind. He has trouble with cause and effect and learning from natural consequences, but is far more capable than he believes and since he responds by far the best to positive reinforcement we practice it regularly to fill his bucket and show our love and care. There is always competition between the younger two – the youngest is just competitive and wants to succeed, while the middle one feels incapable and unlovable and gives up too quickly.

Tuesday Topic: How do We Help Our Kids Love the Skin They’re In?

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Today’s Tuesday Topic is from Melissa, who asks,

How do we help our kids love the skin they’re in? My eight year old daughter (adopted from Africa as a baby) wrote me the sweetest letter and picture yesterday saying she loves me with all her heart and she’s glad I’m her mom, and she drew a cute picture of her and me by a castle. I told her I loved the letter and something about how I loved the picture of mommy, and her with her beautiful brown skin. She dropped her eyes (not for the first time) and said “I wish my skin was white.”