Tuesday Topic: How Do We Help One Child Without Neglecting the Others?

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This week’s Tuesday Topic comes from a dad who wants help for his family.

We feel defeated by this child

We have 4 children at home: ages, 13, 11, 9, 4 (the 4 year old is our former foster son). We home school all the children. We have had the 4 year old since he was 3 months old. He was a drug baby, but not sure what drugs, and we are pretty certain there was alcohol in the pregnancy. He spent the first 3 months of his life in Children’s Hospital as he was born with his intestines outside his body; he had surgery and seems to be fine.

Obviously we are having some problems with him; so we started reading The Connected Child. It seems that all of the suggestions from the book are time consuming, and my wife feels like she simply cannot do all of the suggested things without neglecting the others. I know the book is not assuming that families only have one child. Sure he is only 4 years old, but he runs the house. He will scream and scream when my wife tells him “no.” She tries to correct with words, but it fails. She has tried to ignore but he will escalate until she responds.

Tuesday Topic: What Advice Would You Give to a Teacher?


This week’s Tuesday Topic comes from Lydia.

This is my second year teaching First Grade. I have had a lot of experience with children with many different needs both in my parents’ home, camps, and educational settings.  However, there is a particular student in my class this year who comes from “hard places” and I am struggling to set him up for behavioral success.  His behaviors are very impulsive and he struggles to stay on task.  In addition, he is very defiant and often refuses to obey the simplest requests.  Stealing food and lying occur as well.  My typical behavior management tricks do not work with him.

Tuesday Topic: How do You Maintain Contact with Siblings?

IMG_2335This question was lost in the recesses of my inbox until today. It’s an important topic for many of us as we seek to parent our children well.

How do you maintain sibling contact with your child(ren) who have multiple siblings adopted to multiple families. My 4 adopted children have at least 12 siblings adopted into 3 different families; we would like to maintain some sort of face-to-face contact if possible – since we’re in the same state – so they’re not strangers as adults. It feels awkward and forced, and not all of the families are very willing.

Tuesday Topic: Should We Change Our Child's Age?


Look at us! Tuesday Topics two weeks in a row. Did you enjoy reading the responses to last week’s question as much as I did?

Today our question comes from Teresa, who asks,

We have adopted multiple children from a country where birth records are either absent or often inaccurate. Our children are still younger (currently in lower elementary school). In one situation, the birth date seems off by a year and in such a way that it may actually be helpful to repeat a birthday, or to assign a new birthday half-way into the new year.

Tuesday Topic: Tips for Calm School Mornings

First day of School 2014
First day of School 2014

Remember back in the “Before” when we did Tuesday Topics each week? It was one of my favorite parts of One Thankful Mom, and I know that many of you loved it to. I’m ready to get it rolling again and I’m so excited to hear from all of you.

This week’s Tuesday Topic is a good question for all of us as we approach the start of school.

What one (or more) tip can you give for calm school mornings?

7 Thoughts on Coping with Destructive Behavior

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A reader once asked me a hard question about coping with destructive behavior. To be honest, I didn’t want to answer because even reading it brought up memories I would rather forget.

It is terribly traumatic to parent a child who is physically and emotionally out of control. When a child rages and hurts the people around her, we are changed. Just writing this, I feel tension in my throat and pressure in my chest; PTSD is not uncommon in parents who have children from “hard places.”

I’ve never shied away from hard topics here at Thankful Moms, so I’m going to give this question the best answer I can bear to write – and as quickly as I can write it.

Lori asked,

What do you do to stay regulated when your home is being torn apart? Do you step in to stop the destructive behavior? I  am getting to the point where I get hurt if I try to intervene. I know the best defense is a good offense, so I try to intervene when the signs first appear and move in close to mitigate any damage or hurtful behavior that might occur, but sometimes it seems that is just has to run its course, then deal with the damage afterwards.