Grown in My Heart is having our second Blog Carnival and the topic is Names – anything at all related to adoption and names. Some ideas would be: how do names affect identity, do you change a name, how do you name a child?
We just covered this in a recent Tuesday Topic: Let’s Talk about Names. I also wrote about naming our adopted children a year after we brought our first three children home from Ethiopia. Rather than repeat myself, I’m going to head off in another direction.
What do our adopted children call their first parents?
This can be a hot topic amongst the adoption triad. We have opted to call the childrens’ first parents their “Ethiopian Mommy and Daddy”. Eby calls his mother his “Opia Mommy” and he calls me Mommy. He isn’t confused by that at all. Honeybee and Dimples refer to their mothers as their Ethiopian Mommies. Each of our children was with their mother for a period of time, one for 14 months, one for two years, another for 15 months, and one for three months. These women are their mothers too.
I prefer Ethiopian Mommy to “birthmother” since our childrens’ mothers did far more than simply give birth to them. Really– how many mothers only give birth? Carrying a baby, loving a baby, laboring and birthing a baby, holding a baby, nursing — it is all so much more than just giving birth. “First Mother” is better, but with some of our children, that adds to the confusion if they had a “First Mother” and then an aunt who became a “Second Mother”, and than a nanny at the orphanage who was also special, so perhaps she was a “Third Mother”. Then I came along and that would make me a “Fourth Mother” –somehow that doesn’t seem quite right.
If you don’t have time to read any of my posts about names, I’ll give you a hint about how we handled it. We gave our little boys American first names and kept their Ethiopian names as middle names. In the end, we decided to call them by their Ethiopian names. We gave our daughters American middle names and also call them by their Ethiopian names.
We could not have predicted how we would feel about our childrens’ names, but it became very clear to us once we had them in our arms. They had been lovingly and meaningfully named by their Ethiopian parents and we feel honored to keep those names.
Want to join in? This is how you do it:
1. Write your blog post (on your own site) and publish it.
2. Go to the Grown in My Heart Blog Carnival post by clicking on this link.
3. Click on the green Mr. Linky Badge at the bottom of the post.
4. It will ask for your name (use whatever name you like for yourself/your blog). I used Thankfulmom.
5. It will ask for the URL address for the post you just wrote. Go to your blog and click on your Blog Carnival post. Copy the address for it and paste it into the box on the Mr. Linky site.
6. That’s it! Your post will be linked with all of the others in the Grown in My Heart Blog Carnival.