Returning to Visit First (Birth) Family

Honeybee with her sister in Ethiopia

This week’s Tuesday Topic is one I have thought about quite a lot.  Leslie asked the question:

Our 7 year-old Ethiopian daughter, K.,  has been with us for a year.  We are in process of adopting a 3 year old boy and hope to travel for court in July.

We are trying to decide whether to take our daughter with us. I met her birth mother when I was there last year and liked her very much, although, of course,  it was a very emotional meeting.

My husband is concerned about our daughter’s attachment to us being impacted if we take her to visit.  K seems attached to our family and happy.  She used to throw tantrums a least once per day about not getting her way – clothes, food, etc.

In the last month the tantrums have been rare.  She sometimes pouts, but is not crying and throwing herself on the ground.

I would like to take her to visit and we probably will not be going to Ethiopia again for several years.

Has anyone taken their children back to Ethiopia to visit birth relatives after only a year or so?  How did you prepare them?

I know she will feel some sadness but I don’t want her to be devastated and feel torn.

As your comments came in, I read each one and thought to myself, “That is a really good point.”

I have thought about this question every day since I posted it last Wednesday, and to be honest my thoughts have been all over the place as I’ve sifted through the implications of taking your daughter or not taking her.  I am going to offer my opinion, but know that I offer it very humbly and with a rather small voice, because it is a complicated question and there is no one right answer.

Four Years – plus Four Kids – Forever

Departing Addis with Eby and Little Man - March 2007

Today is our fourth Forever day with our four children!  Four years ago today, we met them, at two different orphanages, with two different agencies processing our adoptions of three of our children.  We met Honeybee that day as well, but had no idea she would later become our daughter.

Isn’t it amazing to consider the way we plan, and prepare, and think we are in charge of our own lives, only to look back and see that we could not have planned this is we had tried?

Birthdays, Seattle, Life

Thank you to everyone who entered my giveaway for The Connected Child and the companion guide, Created to Connect!  I wish I had 79 copies to give away.  Rusty is going to help me figure out how many total entries there are and then randomly select the three winners.

[This post contains Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.]

Today is Little Man’s birthday!  My baby is four.  Can I just admit that it is bittersweet for me?  He is an amazing little boy, and I love watching him grow up, but he is my last baby, and I love mothering babies.

We celebrated his birthday last night with spaghetti and chocolate cake.  He loved his Playdough Ice Cream Factory and his dollar store flashlight and sword.  Today he had his birthday cereal and I hope to get some nice photos of him that I will share later.

I’m packing our bags for a trip to Seattle.  We usually have therapy appointments on Mondays, but every three months we also have appointments at Seattle Children’s and our clinic only sees patients on Thursday afternoons.  I’m picking up Honeybee, Dimples, and their friend Jubilee, after school and heading west.