Sunday Visit: Mark Schultz and His Adoption Story

I stumbled upon a link to a music video of the song “Everything to Me” by Mark Schultz.  After watching it, I clicked on  the link to the story behind the song.

It is powerful to hear him talk about his birthmother and see the emotion on his face.  His face and voice speak to me more loudly than his words.

As adoptive parents, we must consider the depth of emotion our children may feel about the loss they have experienced.  Mark Schultz is on a journey through his own adoption experience and I love that he is willing to share this very personal interview.

The actual music video is less important to me than the interview.  I’m uncomfortable that it supports some of what I consider to be myths of adoption.  Speaking from my own experience as a birthmother, and having many friends who are adoptees, the video does not show the depth of tragedy experienced by many of us – whether losing a child, or losing a parent.

Everything to Me – lyrics

I must have felt your tears
When they took me from your arms
I’m sure I must have heard you say goodbye
Lonely and afraid had you made a big mistake
Could an ocean even hold the tears you cried

But you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And you made the only choice you could that night

[Chorus]
You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me

And if I saw you on the street
Would you know that it was me
And would your eyes be blue or green like mine
Would we share a warm embrace
Would you know me in your heart
Or would you smile and let me walk on by
Knowing you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And I hope that you’d be proud of who I am

[Chorus]
You gave life to me
A chance to find my dreams
And a chance to fall in love
You should have seen her shining face
On our wedding day
Oh is this the dream you had in mind
When you gave me up
You gave everything to me

And when I see you there
Watching from heaven’s gates
Into your arms
I’m gonna run
And when you look in my eyes
You can see my whole life
See who I was
And who I’ve become

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Have a wonderful Sunday. Russ, Isaiah, and the four younger girls are on their way home from Seattle today. Sweet Pea has been home all weekend and we had an especially great time with Mimi yesterday; we even went out for lunch. Such fun.

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. Jillian
    January 22, 2012

    Lisa, I agree the interview was so powerful…the emotion from an adult that seems to have had a healthy adoption experience and life…how much more emotion from our children that didn't have an easy process or a healthy one….

    I also agree about your comments on the video and stereotypes.

    Love ya
    Jillian

    Reply
  2. Anna
    January 23, 2012

    He has such emotional, powerful, meaningful songs. I love them (especially this one)!

    Reply
  3. Amy
    January 24, 2012

    Thank you for sharing. Although this video may not portray a “typical” adoption story, it rings so true in our son’s case. We have a very open adoption with his birthmom and feel so amazingly blessed that she chose us 19 months ago to be her son’s parents.

    Reply
  4. rick
    March 6, 2015

    I personally don't agree about the comment of the video. This his testimony, his experience with adoption, I would agree if it Alluded to ALL adoption being like his, yet that's not the message.
    I do agree that is not the same for all and that a lot of them go through so much hurt. But we can't take away from the song and what it is, HIS EXPERIENCE with being adopted. Great man love all his songs. Praying for all of you. God bless

    Reply
  5. Hannah
    May 18, 2015

    This song has helped me with my adoption.

    Reply

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