Structure – Our Familiar Friend

Honeybee and Dimples are on their way home from camp today.  It will be a long trip for them beginning with a bus ride from camp in the Rocky Mountains to Denver, then a flight from DIA to Spokane, wrapping it up with the drive home.  I expect they will be tired, and hungry when we pick them up at 8:00 tonight.

I was lying awake this morning thinking about preparing my heart and mind, our home, and the other children.  We’ve been quite mellow here, with kids drawing pictures, reading books, and hanging out in the yard.  Bedtimes have been loose, mornings have been relaxed, and all in all, it has been an unstructured week.

As Dimples returns, structure must increase, not only for her, but for the entire household.  Meals need to be well-planned and at regular times, the chore chart needs to be followed, and a routine must be in place in order to keep anxiety at bay.  I expect we’ll spend hours at the pool, since Dimples does well there.

Noah and I made good progress on cleaning out the garage yesterday.  He is heading to Seattle today, so I’m on my own to wrap it up.  With the yard sale one day away, I’ll probably barely make a dent in the household clutter, but having a functional garage will be wonderful.

It is also a top priority because we are considering remodeling the garage into a couple of bedrooms.  This is a project we’ve been considering for a few years, but the time has come when it is imperative to spread the four girls out into more rooms.  We’re a little overwhelmed at the thought of giving up the storage space and taking on a remodel, but it weighs heavily on our hearts that it is not best for all four girls to share a room.  Dimples, in particular, needs her own space.

I’m taking a deep breath, sipping coffee, and getting ready to press on with the decluttering project; but first, Russ is going to make me an omelet.  Yes, he does spoil me.

Have a great day, friends.

Lisa

 

 

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. Jennifer
    July 6, 2012

    Bracing ourselves for re-entry here too. And I'm maintaining a good attitude about "my" camp week being used up at the hospital. ; ) Though it did make things logistically easier. We get one more camp week at the end of the month too. : )

    Reply
  2. Laura
    July 6, 2012

    We are so excited to see Noah and the other UI kids later today…I am sure it will be a great, but short visit.

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth
    July 6, 2012

    I will praying for you and the kids…love you!

    Reply
  4. Oldqueen44
    July 6, 2012

    Remember what your friend said about "This could have been my life" (2010 post)
    I just sent her response to my daughter because she despretly needs the encouragement right now.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 7, 2012

      Thank you for letting me know – I'll pass your comment to her. Prayers for your daughter today.

      Reply
  5. DF in NY
    July 8, 2012

    Lisa, I am finally posting to say that I love reading your blog and often mention "insights" that you've shared with us when speaking to friends, whether adoptive parents or not. Thank you for sharing so much of your life's beauty and challenges. I am also writing to say: considering all that you do for everyone in your family (including being so understanding about the good that your husband and son want to do in Kenya, which leaves you with a lot of the work at home), I'd say you deserve to be spoiled…and often. 🙂 Enjoy the summer. I admire all that you do.

    DF in NY

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 8, 2012

      DF, thank for taking a moment to comment; I love hearing from readers. I wish I had time to write so much more!

      Reply
  6. shannon2818
    July 9, 2012

    Structure is so important at our house too.

    Reply
  7. laurajonesjournal
    July 25, 2012

    your empower to connect blurps always warm me. thank you.
    we have re-enter this week, with a VERY difficult adoptee. She is dreamy one on one but in our large family she just seems to constantly rock the boat and get in trouble. The thought of summer long camp is wonderful for us all to dream about. I would have thought that sounded terrible, but it's where we are at. She was actuallly our youngest adopted, at age 8 month, the other 3 adoption have been at 6,7,and 10 years and they have been great. Thanks for being so open and honest. I need that "okay" It seems she's meant for a couple with no children, but her. But, that has not been God's plan, so tonight we sit together as a family and thank him for the 4 days "off" from her raging and tantrums, and we pray for survival and any joy possible, until school starts up. I know you know. thanks..

    Reply

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