Spring Cleaning for a Good Marriage

There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. Martin Luther

Last month, Russ and I got away for a few days to be refreshed and spend time devoted to our marriage and one another.  Over these past weeks we’ve returned to some of our conversations again as we think about how to continue growing our marriage into the beautiful, God-honoring relationship we want it to be.  We’re not willing to settle for a marriage that is “good enough.” We want a marriage that is glorious.

As in all of life, it is easy to get sloppy and fall into poor communication, leave things undone, leave other things unforgiven, and neglect to love our spouses more than we love ourselves. Our lives are full, and the past five years in particular, Russ and I have intensely focused our energy on the needs of our children.  Now, as we find ourselves coming up for air, we can see how the lack of attention has allowed little piles of trash, dusty corners, and low walls to build up.

We’re doing some spring cleaning on our marriage – clearing out the rubbish, tearing down bricks that don’t belong, and looking a little more closely at our relationship. We’re seeking less efficiency and a little more joy.  We’re being gentler with one another, and I am working harder at watching my tongue -which is prone to be sharp.  Last weekend we went to a presceening of a movie together, while our normal default would have been for one of us to stay home and one to go because it is too hard to leave Dimples.  We also took a walk, watched a movie, went to a party, stayed up too late –  all for the joy of being together.

Marriage is long, friends, and we want ours to be overflowing with kindness toward one another. We want to laugh more, talk more,  listen more, serve one another better, and see our love grow richer and deeper.

Let’s heave the trash out the door, sweep our floors, and dust away the cobwebs.  Spring is coming and with it comes new life.

The Work of a Good Marriage | The Marriage Sustains Love

Lisa

 

This post may contain Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. Gwen
    March 5, 2012

    Good reminder — I especially like the idea of seeking less efficiency and more joy. Great post!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 5, 2012

      Thanks, Gwen. We tend to get so focused on tasks that we neglect to just enjoy being together. We're working on it!

      Reply
  2. Melissa
    March 5, 2012

    Great reminder!

    Reply
  3. Laurel
    March 5, 2012

    A GREAT post, Lisa. Thanks for sharing.

    Laurel

    Reply
  4. Cat
    March 6, 2012

    Love this! So timely. Mark and I were talking about this very topic last night. Your comment: " We’re not willing to settle for a marriage that is “good enough.” We want a marriage that is glorious." Just hits the nail on the head.

    Reply
  5. Tisha
    March 6, 2012

    I loved this. "Seeking less efficiency and more joy" is also an idea that really caught my eye. With many children in the home, including ones that have needs that can be time consuming and draining to meet – efficiency becomes a way of life! Gravitating toward the most efficient method of getting everyone taken care of is so easy to do – even at the expense of our own needs or those of our marriage being neglected.
    Thank you for the inspiration to make more effort toward joy, and thank you for consistently sharing your lives with us. I can't count all that I have learned from you!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      March 6, 2012

      Tisha, I'm glad you understand what I was trying to say! I am so prone to be task-oriented because the workload is heavy, but then I miss out on just being with Russ and enjoying him. I love hearing from you.

      Reply
  6. Lisa Qualls
    March 6, 2012

    Thanks, Cat. I really hate to think of settling for a marriage that isn't a great source of happiness and contentment in my life. Great to hear from you.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *