So Much Hope

Now that school is underway, I am thinking about our upcoming trip to Nebraska – paperwork, insurance preauthorization, travel plans, and what on earth I am going to do to keep life humming along for the rest of the family while we’re gone.  Russ has booked flights for the three of us, rented a car, and arranged a hotel room for our first night in Nebraska.  Today I had a great conversation with a new friend who has invited us to stay at her home.  I am continually amazed by the Body of Christ.

While at camp last weekend, Russ and I attended a parent group focused on attachment.  As the time came to an end, the facilitator suggested we go around the circle sharing our greatest hope for the child we are most concerned about.  He turned to me and said, “The Qualls can go first, unless you need some time to think about it.” “No, we don’t need time, we know exactly our greatest hope,” I answered.  I began to share our plan to travel with Dimples to Nebraska and, without a bit of warning, tears welled up and I began to cry.  It was as much of a surprise to me as it was to the group.  I hid my face on Russ’ shoulder and he took over talking.

Once I collected myself I shared that we have so much hope tied up in this – so much hope that it hurts.  We believe that God has led us to this plan, and we are fully committed to it.  We’re also keenly aware that God’s ways are not our ways and that He doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we hope.  Yet, we trust Him.

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

14 Comments

  1. Paula Miles Spears
    September 5, 2012

    Lisa, I'm praying for all of you.

    Reply
  2. Donna
    September 5, 2012

    Praying in faith and hope with you for some answers and some help for all of you. I feel like God has something very special planned for all these special treasures who work so hard to overcome their trauma. May He be glorified!

    Reply
  3. Laurel
    September 5, 2012

    I can so relate to your last paragraph . . .

    "… so much hope tied up in this . . . so much hope that it hurts. . . . We are keenly aware that God's ways are not our ways and that He doesn't always answer our prayers in the way we hope. Yet, we trust Him."

    That about sums up our past 21 months. I must say, though, it is getting harder and harder to even have hope. We heard about a great job possibility for Jim, just yesterday, at a school that he used to teach at. I desperately want to hope that this is IT; but I seriously don't find myself having any hope.

    Lisa . . . I am having a very hard time having any hope . . . for my marriage . . . for my Big Kids . . . for our Little Miss . . . for a job . . . Please keep us in your prayers, as I am REALLY struggling with the loss of hope.

    I TRUST God. I KNOW that HE will continue to take care of me. But, I don't know how to hope or dream any more. So sad. So hard.

    Laurel

    Reply
    1. Paula Miles Spears
      September 5, 2012

      Laurel… I want you to know that you are in my prayers tonight.

      Reply
    2. Deb
      September 5, 2012

      Laurel – your message moved me to tears and I just wanted to tell you to cling to that faith. Once a long long time ago I received a rainbow colored business card at a women's retreat that read simply "Dear Friend, Trust Me – I have everything under control. Jesus" It went with me everywhere for many many years until it was so worn I could barely read it.

      Trust Him – and if you need to cry out loud for the solution – He WILL provide it. He did for me….. and does for me daily. Prays for blessings for you and yours!

      Reply
    3. Sadee
      September 6, 2012

      I just want to cry with you, Laurel. And you too, Lisa!
      Sometimes I think we need to borrow hope from others…..So Laurel, "we" (Lisa's readers? 🙂 ) are gonna keep hoping for you right now while it's too difficult for you to hope……and we're going to pray.
      And I'm gonna trust Jesus that someday when I can't hope for myself or my own life, there's gonna be someone who's gonna loan some hope to me.
      I don't mean this in a trite way……

      Praying, hoping, anticipating…..and looking forward to hearing how God is in it with you.
      Love,
      sadee

      Reply
      1. karenpullin
        September 6, 2012

        I'm going to join Sadee in hoping for you, Laurel. Sometimes we just need the rest of the Body to carry us….I'm happy to help you hold on.

        Reply
    4. Traci
      September 7, 2012

      Holding on for your, Laurel. Trusting, believing and interceding on your behalf. May you feel Him hold you tonight as you rest tonight.

      Traci

      Reply
  4. Deb
    September 5, 2012

    You are exactly right in that God always answers – just not always in the way we want or expect. You never know what this next experience is going to provide for you – just know that it is provided for God's purpose. Be open to whatever He is intent on showing.

    Praying for you, praying and praying and praying.

    Reply
  5. Mary
    September 5, 2012

    Amen. Praying and hoping with you!!!!
    When we were in the midst of fostering our now son, we came closer and closer to that court date that would decide which way it was all headed. I heard a sermon about petitioning and prayer and beating on the door of heaven. It really ministered to me, to remember that God asks us to "bug" him. We will be bugging him from Texas and watching those updates. Go in hope!!!!

    Reply
  6. Pam
    September 5, 2012

    We are doing something called Neurological Reorganization for our son with attachment disordered, SPD, ADHD. As we began, we had those similar feelings. We've been in this for 6 months, and we are seeing positive changes…not as fast as we would like…but there just the same. Praying for your hopeful journey….it will be hard I'm sure of that…but remember God goes before you and with you!

    Reply
  7. Tricia
    September 5, 2012

    praying for you and that this hope before you. Your words are so true and so real. Thank you.

    Reply
  8. Traci
    September 7, 2012

    Lisa,

    Your trip has been on my mind as we journey closer to our adoption date. May He bless this trip in mighty ways!

    Traci

    Reply
  9. Amy
    September 9, 2012

    Sharing that hope with you! We just started therapy with our five year old daughter who is oh so traumatized and has endured more in her little life than most adults do. I cling to HOPE that she will feel the blessing of a God who loves her more than anyone can imagine. I am glad I found you. I feel so alone on this journey!

    Amy http://www.1001tears.blogspot.com

    Reply

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