So, How Was It?

How was your Mother’s Day? Our morning started with Sunshine making coffee for me and then all of us rushing out the door to the 8:30 service at church. We were late, which was disappointing because I love being in time for all of worship. Despite that, we got seats near the front, which helps the kids stay more focused.

After worship a video about motherhood was shown. I started to watch it and then realized that I just wasn’t up for an encouraging “motherhood is wonderful and hard, and you are amazing” message, so I read through the sermon notes instead. The sermon spoke to me on so many levels. I thought continually of Bee and Dimples, and how  important it is to rejoice over the good that God is doing in their lives, and remember how precious they are to Him.

At home, the kids prepared a wonderful dinner, with the boys and Sunshine doing the cooking. We topped it off with iced coffee made by Noah, and strawberry shortcake made by Ladybug. Mimi spent an hour going through my clothes and helping me purge my closet – it was a fantastic gift. My love language is definitely “acts of service”; I loved getting that project done with her help.

Dimples called in the afternoon to wish me a happy Mother’s Day and we talked for a few minutes. Hannah called later in the day after she finished working on a presentation she is giving this week – something about sinusitis in the ICU – but don’t quote me on that. I called my Mom and had a nice chat with both of my parents.

We’re dealing with lots of appointments and complex schedules for Bee and some of our other children right now. The numerous phone calls and scheduling challenges are consuming much of my time and seemingly all of my mental space; it’s taking a toll on me.

If you think of us, please pray for strength, wisdom, and peace this week. Thank you, friends.

Tell me about your Mother’s Day – I want to hear from you – even if it was a hard one.

Remember to enter the giveaway for a $100 Shell gift card for your summer vacation!

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

20 Comments

  1. Paula Miles Spears
    May 13, 2013

    My love language is "acts of service" too… but I can't seem to convince anyone in my family of that. 🙁

    Reply
  2. Stephanie-Justin Smith
    May 13, 2013

    this mothers day was hard for me, even though im not going through anything personally. i was feeling the weight of everyone else's losses very personally. my mom lost her mom in january and was hurting and missing her as we all are. two people recently lost their dear daughters due to different circumstances. i have a friend whose daughters 3rd birthday would have been yesterday and yet it is her third birthday in heaven. she only lived an hour the day she was born. and i have three friends suffering from years of infertility and the ache of empty arms. and i was remembering the years that i had that same empty ache and knowing that nothing would set it right and that no amount of words anyone could say would comfort me. we watched "silver linings playbook" when the kids were in bed and it is abount mental disorders and all i could think of is how hard it must be for those parents who watch their children suffer. so yesterday, while enjoying my own children and being profoundly thankful for them, i couldnt help but grieve for all those mommas out there who were hurting from their own loss.

    Reply
  3. Rebekah
    May 13, 2013

    It would have been better had I felt better! But it was a good one! Since my kids are smaller, my husband stepped in and made the meals. Our oldest, weed whacked the creek so I can see the creek from my bed. A nice gift! The emotions always run higher on a day like yesterday but no meltdowns or episodes.

    Reply
  4. Lori
    May 13, 2013

    It was very fitting. I spent the message time in the nursery mothering. 🙂 Missed out on the encouraging words for moms, but had a nice time with my little guy.

    Reply
  5. Leslie Woodfill
    May 13, 2013

    Prayers for strength!!!

    Reply
  6. Sabrina Plus Tom Schaefer
    May 13, 2013

    Strength, wisdom and peace.

    Reply
  7. Gretchen Hayes
    May 13, 2013

    Mine was wonderful but it probably doesn't count since the baby isn't actually born quite yet.

    Reply
  8. Heather Bogie Antoine
    May 13, 2013

    Praying you through the week!

    Reply
  9. Beth Ross Houston
    May 13, 2013

    Prayers to you my friend….

    Reply
  10. Katie Szotkiewicz Patel
    May 13, 2013

    Prayers and hugs to you!!!

    Reply
  11. Emily B
    May 13, 2013

    It was my first Mother's Day since our adoption–and their birth mom's first Mother's Day without them. I was an emotional mess inside. When I prayed for their birth mom, the girls all looked at me like I had three heads and asked why I prayed for her. I told them it was because I want God's healing for her. They said, "Oh" and left it at that. Later, my oldest one asked me to not bring up their birth mom because she doesn't want her mind flooded with the memories of being hurt by "that woman." She said she'd rather think about her past when she's at therapy, but not in the safety of our home. I totally understand and respect that, and I thought that she did a fabulous job of using her words to tell me how she was really feeling. I was so proud of her. All the kids had made beautiful gifts for me at school, which they were proud to give to me. We went out for a very nice lunch, played outside all afternoon, and ate dessert for dinner. It was a wonderful day.

    Reply
  12. gwenmj
    May 13, 2013

    I went to visit my mom early in the week and had a flight home to be with my boys, hubby (my daughter and foster babe were with me) in time for dinner. My first flight was cancel. My second flight was cancel. So, I guess my gifts were vouchers from the airline – hotel, and food. My daughter and I did use all $30 off food vouchers to purchase cheesecake. Glad to be home!

    Reply
  13. gwenmj
    May 13, 2013

    Happy Mothers Day to you! I am glad you got a moment or two of special things 🙂

    Reply
  14. Julie Bell Johnson
    May 13, 2013

    Love you! One of my daughters said, “Whoever scheduled Mother’s Day must have not really like mothers. It’s smack in the middle of AP tests, so I might make it to dinner.”
    I resisted comment in order to avoid any confrontation on my day!

    Reply
  15. SMORE STORIES
    May 13, 2013

    Hi Lisa,
    I hope you will find some time to fill your tank a bit with all you have on your plate. You are a tremendous mom and those kiddos need you to take care of you as much them :). I will pray and think on Psalm 29:11 for you… "The LORD gives his people strength. The LORD blesses them with peace."

    We had a very low key day. As many adoptive families, we constantly try to balance on the teeter totter of Mother's Day grief and joy. Even after 44 years there is still grief that sets in this adult adoptee heart, but it hurts even more to watch my children bear the burden of that pain in their own adoption story. It was all wrapped up neatly when our oldest in OR called to inform me of my "not so great Mother's Day gift" which consisted of his(our) car being towed because he parked illegally. It wasn't so funny at the time, but I laugh about it today thinking about how illogical I was at that age too. Even with all that though, I know I'm blessed and I feel so enriched by the life God has allowed me to live in.

    Hope you have a blessed week and those appointments divinely align for you!

    Reply
  16. Margaret
    May 13, 2013

    Lisa, I feel for you juggling all the appointments…and I only have two children. Mother's Day for me was very low key…I tried not to be the planner and organizer of everyone's life and my dear husband did some of it and some of it evidently does not need to happen all the time. We planted fruit trees in the garden, I got some one on one time with each child and my husband, and the best part of my day was when my son told me that he loved me and that even though he pushes back hard he appreciates what I do for him. I am very grateful. Praying for you and your family.

    Reply
  17. Leese
    May 13, 2013

    I'll be one who commits to especially be praying this week!

    And I still pray and think of you every time I take my coumadin!

    Reply
  18. Stunned_Mommy
    May 15, 2013

    My Mother's Day was rough. I went into it with mixed big emotions about my own Mom (adopting kids from hard places has brought up issues with my parent that I didn't even know I had) and about mothering the three girls I have (two of them joined us about 18 months ago & we're still in a major transition). Frankly, I didn't want to be with either my Mom or my kids. Nonethless, we all spent the day together, and it was half filled with kid melt-downs and half superficial. I felt guilty about having such a miserable day and for wishing for a spa day instead. Then that night, the barely-four-year-old daughter of dear family friends "coded" (aka "died") while in the ER getting treatment for what they thought was dehydration from a minor bug, endured four hours of CPR, and then was put on life support. Turns out a virus infected her heart. Machines continue to do the jobs of her heart and lungs. She needs a miraculous healing from God. Given the un-imaginable and horrific situation our friends are in, my Mother's day was not so bad. Trying to be grateful, keep some perspective, and help my friends bear their burden.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      May 15, 2013

      I was reading your comment, having no idea where you were headed – and then you hit me over the head with such blunt truth. Thank you.

      Reply
  19. Finnians Mom
    May 18, 2013

    My 4-year-old-son (home since end of sept. 2011 as a just 3 year old old chinese orphan)) made me some DIY wonderful egg-keepers(????) (to keep your egg in till you eat it). But the best part of every day? Him saying: "mom I LOVE you so much" or "you my weetie big my (you're my big sweetie pie)! Hearing this words from him are so very precious that I still get the shivers every time. I hope you felt the love of your children this special day 9and hopefully every day!). Sorry for the typing errors 😉

    Reply

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