Signs of Progress

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I haven’t had much time to blog, but tonight I need to give thanks to God for Dimples’ good visit. She was with us for five days, which was her longest visit yet. For the first time, she came without a staff member. As we count down the weeks to her transition home, we need to figure out what is needed in order for her to be successful at home.

She has come so far, I wish you all could see her progress for yourselves. Most notable to me is her ability to accept adult decisions, even when she is disappointed with our answers. We had one evening when she was quite unhappy, and while she had tears, she did not fall apart. As we teetered on the edge of emotion, I put my arm around her and reminded her, “You can handle this. I know it’s hard, but you can do it.” And she did.

Most of her time was spent with Sunshine, and they truly enjoyed one another. Rather than seeing her sister as competition in a world of scarcity, Dimples was able to appreciate their companionship. They played games, listened to Adventures in Odyssey, jumped on the trampoline, and helped with meal prep.

Monday morning, the girls asked if they could make pancakes. I said yes and continued to get ready for the day. Soon there was a knock on my door and Dimples asked if they could add scrambled eggs to the meal. That seemed like a good idea, so I agreed. A little time passed, and once again there was a child at my door – this time informing me that breakfast was ready. Russ and I came downstairs to find the table nicely set, complete with candles, and a lovely meal on the table.

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It was quite delightful.

As the visit progressed, reality set in – being home is a lot more work than being in a staffed cottage. She has small chores there, but at home, every single meal required the family to help with clean up, floors needed to be swept, little brothers helped, and there were many other tasks. This was not a vacation, and that was a little tough for Dimples.

It’s late now and I need to post this. It’s been so long, and I’m scheduled to post a food review tomorrow morning. With as little as I’ve been able to blog since my hospital stint, I didn’t want that to be the next time you hear from me.

I miss you all and hope to be back to more regular writing soon.

Lisa

 

 

 

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. Luann Yarrow Doman
    May 6, 2014

    Praising God with you. He is going to do something big with that dimpled face girl of yours.

    Reply
  2. ilieruby
    May 6, 2014

    I am so happy for you Lisa! You folks deserved a good visit!

    Reply
  3. Jen T.
    May 6, 2014

    That's great, Lisa! We're celebrating with you and praying for the upcoming transition.

    Reply
  4. Julie Gumm
    May 6, 2014

    What fantastic news and what a great opportunity for you to begin to prepare for her to be back at home. Our continued prayers!

    Reply
  5. Cat
    May 7, 2014

    So very happy and hopeful for you all.

    Reply
  6. Scoopy
    May 7, 2014

    We are not as large a family as yours, but I think the reality of home life in a big family is that there IS tons of work, the interactions between every siblings, the sheer work to get through a meal or activity. It requires so much. It is constant effort for me, the mom, without early trauma. I try to remember this for the child who falls apart all the time. sometimes, all that work is too much. That that she's doing better, even when it's so hard.

    Reply
  7. DFNY
    May 7, 2014

    What a lovely post, Lisa. I felt the warmth of sharing that meal with the children that so generously prepared it. The table looks so fancy…we should do candles at the table more often. Praying for Dimples and her continued strength and development, and for all of you as you bring her back into the fold. Also praying for you to be healthy once again.

    Blessings,
    Damaris

    Reply
  8. Laine
    May 7, 2014

    Thank you for sharing. I appreciate the effort and time you put into your writing. Your words teach me, inspire me and often give me hope. When you wrote Dimples was able to enjoy her sister's companionship instead of seeing her as competition in a world of scarcity, that clicked for me. Two of our boys are biological siblings. One has little tolerance for the other. Even though he can't explain why he feels this way, your comment was an ah ha moment. It just makes sense, and could explain in part what he's dealing with. It's an idea to explore. Thank you. God bless.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      May 7, 2014

      I'm so glad that was helpful to you, Laine. Thank you for sharing it with me.

      Reply
  9. Jeri
    May 7, 2014

    I'm so glad that you are both doing well. It's wonderful to see her progress and know that is moving ahead. And wonderful that you're doing better!

    Reply
  10. Julie
    May 7, 2014

    Wow! What a great report! Those tenuous moments can be so stressful for everyone. I'm glad she was able to use her coping skills. Praying for your family.

    Reply

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