Shhh…Yesterday was Forever Day

Yesterday was Forever Day, but we didn’t celebrate, in fact we aren’t celebrating until tomorrow during Sunday dinner.  You might wonder why I, a person who loves traditions and holidays, let this slip by.  I’ll give you three good reasons.

1.Forever Day was very difficult last year. I wrote the post New Every Morning as I processed it.

2. Russ has been out of town for a week and returns this afternoon.  I wasn’t ready for a disaster yesterday without him, and if it was going to be wonderful, I didn’t want him to miss it.

3. The kids don’t actually remember that February 24th is Forever Day, and since I didn’t write it on the big refrigerator calendar, they don’t know it has slipped by.

The best news is that the kids and I have had a decent week while Russ has been gone.  He was at a conference in Hawaii.  I am thankful that I feel truly and fully happy for him that he was able to go.  I was anxious about him being gone so long, but the fact that we’ve made it through every day without too many challenges makes me hopeful.

There was one evening when I thought I might need to call a friend to come help me out, but we got through it.  We talked, cried, prayed, and made it through the night.  The structure of school, tutoring some afternoons, and Friday afternoons with friends, also helped ease the stress.

Sunday after church, we’ll have our Forever Day favorite, Honey Curry Chicken with rice.  We’ll gather around the table and tell the stories of seeing our four Ethiopian children for the very first time.  It is hard to believe the changes Jesus has brought in our lives through our children.  It’s probably good that I didn’t know everything we would face – and I give thanks.

Only a few hours and I’ll be picking Russ up at the airport.  I’m pretty sure I’ll cry tears of happiness and sheer relief when I see him.

If you missed the link on my One Thankful Mom Facebook page (“like” the link in the sidebar), you might like to see this video Isaiah made, when he was only 13, to celebrate Forever Day 2008. It still makes me cry.

Have a great weekend, friends.

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

6 Comments

  1. Laura
    February 25, 2012

    My goodness the kids sure have grown. I hardly recognized Honeybee….she is becoming so grown up.

    Reply
  2. Emily
    February 25, 2012

    I think when so many kids struggle with this anniversary that it's ok not to make a big deal or celebrate it. Talking about the joy of bringing your kids home on an ongoing basis so that story becomes the fabric of their personal life story and not making a celebration out of that anniversary might work better for some children and families. One thought is – its yet another way we are imposing what we think should be a joyous occasion on a child who saw that time as full if grief, mourning, loss, fear and anger. Our culture sort of dictates that we celebrate this like it was a birthday (often with cake and some even do gifts) but for the child that is not their birthday.

    I also feel that some kids would love and welcome a forever day celebration or some kids 6-7 years down the road might want to mark that time. But when you fear it will be a disaster then we should pause and say why and maybe treat that day like any other but offer a few extra kind words or if you can sneak in a little kiss so in your heart you recognize why that day is meaningful to you.

    I would love to hear your thoughts on this Lisa because maybe we all need permission to let that one go if it doesn't work for our children and causes them extra stress. What do you think?

    Reply
  3. Heidi
    February 25, 2012

    Makes me cry too. I'll be praying for a wonderful celebration tomorrow.

    Reply
  4. Shonni
    February 25, 2012

    That is one of my most favorite ever songs. What a beautiful video.

    Reply
  5. mrsungeek
    February 25, 2012

    This is such a beautiful video!
    We don't celebrate either our Gotcha Day or our Forever Day. The first few years was because any celebration, holiday, or birthday would end up with dysregulated kids, tears, and odd behaviors. Because of this, I tone down most celebrations and try to keep a regular schedule if at all possible. Of course, some days, like Christmas, are hard to tone down!
    The time we got the kids and adopted them were also traumatic or sad in a way, since they were taken from their birth family when they were 3 and almost 5 and adopted three years later. They knew their birth family and missed them, even though they were neglected and abused. Yes, it was happy for us, but it is a mix of emotions for the kids. And now that my kids are in contact with their birth family this past year, they are having to work through the loss, the emotions, and the past trauma all over again. Celebrating just doesn't seem right this year either.

    Reply
  6. Melissa Marques
    March 8, 2012

    I saw this video on youtube a few weeks ago. My husband and I have just decided to adopt from Ethiopia and have been looking at Ehtiopian adoption stories on youtube. It's nice to learn more about your family.

    Reply

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