Rocking Our Sorrows Away

If I could own one thing to promote attachment and encourage affection, it would be a rocking chair, even an old ugly one like the one in my family room.

Over the last 21 years I have spent hours rocking children, in my wood rocker, in my glider rocker, and in this old hand-me-down chair.

I have debated getting rid of this brown chair (with the burn hole in its side) many times because it doesn’t suit my style, but it is the perfect place to rock a big girl on a hard day.

This morning Bee cried for an hour over a perceived injustice in the division of chores.

She would not eat breakfast or talk to me, she only cried and repeated over and over, “Me TWO chores, Ladybug only ONE.”

Finally I coaxed her into the rocker, wrapped my arms around her and while we rocked and I whispered in her ear all of the calming things that came to my mind.

I told her I loved her. I told her that I knew it was hard learning to live in a family because things aren’t always fair.

I told her there were warm pancakes waiting for her to eat when she felt better.

Her crying quieted, her arms wrapped around my neck, she pulled my face down to hers and whispered, “I love you, Mom.”

We hold each other close and rock our sorrows away.

Thanks be to God.

~Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

16 Comments

  1. Mama Hen
    September 11, 2008

    What would Mamas do without rocking chairs?

    Reply
  2. Pajama Mama
    September 11, 2008

    Thanks for these glimpses into your family…
    -kristen

    Reply
  3. Bradshaws
    September 11, 2008

    You are so wonderful Lisa!!!

    Reply
  4. Melodie Monberg
    September 11, 2008

    I am always a ball of tears after reading your posts. Thank you!

    Reply
  5. Andrea
    September 11, 2008

    I love that picture and that was the right thing to do! You know exactly what’s best.

    Reply
  6. Andrea
    September 11, 2008

    I too love that picture. I need a chair like that! ;o) Bless you!

    Reply
  7. the ewings
    September 11, 2008

    I love this picture a true picture of Zeph. 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” I love your gentle spirit! – Chris

    Reply
  8. Heather Mitchell
    September 11, 2008

    Lisa, that just brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful bond you are creating with your beautiful daughter.

    Reply
  9. Kathrin
    September 12, 2008

    How wonderful! Our rocking chair is a sling. Nothing like holding your child close to you.

    Reply
  10. Anonymous
    September 12, 2008

    Hi Lisa. I am acquainted with Theresa VW and she and I were at the zoo today talking about the attachment of our two daughters (ten and six years) who we have been home with from India for six and a half months. She also mentioned your current struggles. (I had found your blog from her blog so I have been reading now and again what is going on with your family.) Anyway, I can relate to the issues you face when you first come home and the honeymoon is over. 🙂 I’m sure every child is a bit different, but I assume there are a lot of similarities. Keep doing what you are. It isn’t easy when the grief comes raging out when there is a discipline issue. We often wondered if we were doing the right thing with our girls. However, after a couple of months of being consistent with loving discipline – emphasis on the love and physical contact, but a firm insistence that we make and enforce the rules – we saw really amazing results compared with a girl who came home from the same orphanage a month before us whose family is still struggling with her behavior. I am rambling! There is so much I could relate to as I read your blog! I just want you to know that I am praying for your family as you raise your lovely family. Maybe I will meet you some day.

    Lori S
    ratherberiding@comcast.net

    Reply
  11. Leslie
    September 14, 2008

    We love rocking too and do it almost every night and other times when things are hard.

    Reply
  12. Brianna Heldt
    September 14, 2008

    absolutely precious. this gave me chills. what a beautiful post.

    Reply
  13. Betina
    September 16, 2008

    Very touching. Very real. Thanks!

    Reply
  14. Amber
    September 17, 2008

    You are such a great mom!

    Reply
  15. Jennifer
    September 22, 2008

    Wow! That is such an amazing picture of a mother’s love. Thank you for sharing! I am hoping to get in touch with you soon. Things have been crazy here! I know you can relate!

    Reply
  16. AussieJenn
    September 22, 2008

    Thank you for reminding me of what parenting is all about. I have tears reading this entry…and will be sure to cuddle my son whilst rocking in our chair. This entry really moved me, as did the photo.
    Thank you

    Reply

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