How is the Rockin’ Mama Challenge going for you? I am thrilled so many of you have joined me. To be honest, it keeps me going knowing that I’ve invited you along on this little journey – I certainly can’t be a slacker now.
A few questions have come up that I want to address. I’ll just add here that I am not an expert in any way — just a mom doing my best to love my kids and heal their hearts. As you read, imagine we are sitting in my kitchen sipping coffee together.
1. What if I don’t have a rocking chair?
Bee answered this one for me, “It’s okay if you don’t have a rocking chair. Just sit in a comfy chair with your kid and hug her.”
In my opinion, rocking is particularly soothing – it is primal.
We were rocked in our mother’s wombs as they went about their days, and our children were rocked in their mother’s wombs. We rock our babies as we stand holding them in our arms.
I’m pretty sure if we asked somebody who knows a lot about brain development, they would say that rocking actually does something good to the brain.
That being said, holding our children close seems to be the most important part of this whole thing. We are attaching, we are loving, we are resting their bodies against ours and holding them close.
You may want to keep your eye out for an affordable rocking chair. I just glanced up from my computer and saw two of mine; I got my glider rocker at a yard sale, my “ugly chair” (a big, old recliner rocker) as a hand-me-down, and another swivel rocker at Goodwill (and yes, I did have it cleaned). I also have a wooden rocker, but it isn’t as comfy for rocking a big kid.
2. What if my child doesn’t want me to rock her or barely touch her?
This is my Eby. Some days he is will come close, other days he pushes me away. I try to get him to sit on my lap with his back to my chest. Sometimes he’ll let me rock, other times he won’t — but he lets me know!
There is no way he would sit for 15 minutes on a “not-so-good” day, but I might get five minutes with him.
We rock Eby and Little Man at “Quiet Hour” and bedtime each day and give them warm milk in a sippy cup. They both seem to need this time and the milk keeps Eby in our laps for a few moments. He will also stay much longer if I read to him.
If you have a child who resists being rocked and held, try five minutes three times a day and see if that works. I would offer warm milk (even to an older child), a piece of gum or a caramel, or even a little snack to see if that keeps him in your arms longer.
3. What if I can’t rock for 15 min. at a time?
Try breaking it into two or three sessions with a goal of 15 minutes total. Our objective is to intentionally hold and love our children.
This challenge is not about perfection or increasing our burden, although I won’t deny that it is a sacrifice for me — I didn’t call this a challenge for nothing!
Today is Day 12 for us and it is getting easier. I find my heart is feeling more tender toward Honeybee — my attachment to her is increasing as I work toward helping her attach to me.
It is much the way our love and attachment increase toward our newborns as we nurse them, rock them, and meet their physical needs.
Rocking is meeting the need of Honeybee’s heart and mine.