There’s nothing like spending four days on the critical care unit of a hospital to prompt me to examine my life. Too much time in my day is revolving around my health – doctors, blood draws, and medications that make me feel crummy, but this has caused me to press the pause button on my life and I think that’s a good thing.
Add to this that Russ has been in Kenya for two weeks, and it adds up to a lot. When he steps off the plane tomorrow, I plan to grab hold of him and not let go for a long time.
Thankfully, we’ve been able to talk on the phone daily. The morning Russ left, we stood close together in the airport, and I whispered, “While you’re gone, when you have time to reflect, please think about our life. We have to change it; we can’t keep living at this pace.”
Three days later I was in the ER learning that I have a problem with my heart, and those words rushed back to me. It’s time to make changes, and we’re not in a position to hold much back. I want to live a long time – to see my children grow up, to have grandchildren, to have adventures with Russ, to serve Jesus with all of my heart. There is so much I want to do, and I’m pretty sure that if we keep living as we are, my health is going to continue spiraling down and those beautiful moments will escape me.
We need a quiet space to reflect and pray; to lay our lives on the table and not hold anything back. What is necessary, and what can we let go? This will not be an easy process.
I tend to think I can handle a lot, and I’m beginning to realize that simply isn’t true. Apart from God, I truly can do nothing. So, what does God want me to do? How is he calling me to live my life – to simultaneously surrender it, lay it down, and protect it. I’m not sure how to do that – we need him to show us.
My doctor told me to radically reduce the stress in our lives and to order this book; there are big changes coming. I am simultaneously scared and hopeful.
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Despite the health issues and Russ being in Kenya, we had a good Easter. My big kids helped and our friend, Emily, was here to celebrate with us. It was truly a team effort and when the day was done, the dishes washed, and Easter baskets cleaned up, I felt quite pleased that we had pulled it off as well as we did.
Have you had a crisis with your health, or something else, in your life? Did you make changes to your life?
I would love to hear from you.
Have a great Monday, friends.
This post may contain Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.