Preparing to Visit Dimples

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As we prepare to take the kids to visit Dimples, emotions are beginning to spill over.  While they’ve seen pictures of her school and heard about her life there, they wonder what the cottage will be like, what the other kids will be like, and most of all, what Dimples will be like. We had planned to have the kids Skype with her before the visit, but between the therapist’s schedule and our schedule, it never happened.

The kids have questions like, “Has Dimples really changed? What if she’s mean to us? What if she doesn’t get better and can never  come home?”

Russ and I anticipate that the excitement of the visit will keep it very upbeat and there won’t be many opportunities to let negative interactions happen. Dimples’ therapist and I put together a detailed schedule including time together in the cottage, time with just the girls and me at the cottage, swimming at the hotel and then celebrating Dimples’ birthday with cake and presents afterward. We’ll all take breaks during meals so the younger kids can connect with us and Dimples can check in with the staff.

After dinner, Russ and I plan to spend the evening at the cottage with Dimples (no siblings), including settling her in for the night. Last time I tried this, it was a complete failure; Dimples wasn’t able to receive any parenting from me.  We’ll see how it goes this time.

We’ll wrap up the visit Sunday morning with a family meeting that includes Dimples and her primary counselor. This will help lay the foundation for her upcoming home visit.

The pace will be slow, and I find myself wondering if we’ll feel that we didn’t have enough time together, but I would prefer that over blithely tossing Dimples into the midst of everyone and having it all blow up. We want this to be a successful visit for the entire family.

We’re heading into a hard day including some difficult appointments, a spinal injection for Russ in Coeur d’Alene, and some phone calls I don’t want to make. If we come to your mind, will you please pray for us? Thank you, friends.

If you haven’t entered the drawing for a fun pair of Monster headphones, you can enter on this post . Twenty-five pairs will be given away and I would love to see you win!

Have a wonderful day.

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. Luann Yarrow Doman
    October 16, 2013

    You've got my prayers. Excited to hear how it all goes. Praying for hearts and minds to be filled with God's peace.

    Reply
  2. Gena
    October 16, 2013

    Praying for you right now-my "adoration" verse today is this: "The LORD will comfort Israel again and have pity on her ruins. Her desert will blossom like Eden, her barren wilderness like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found there. Songs of thanksgiving will fill the air." Isaiah 51:3
    May the Spirit flood, cover and bring comfort, joy, gladness, thankfulness and renewal to you today and this weekend.
    Gena

    Reply
  3. Emily
    October 16, 2013

    Sorry about the hard day- yes, praying. LOVE you.

    Reply
  4. Deborah
    October 16, 2013

    Prayers up – always Lisa.

    My stomach has butterflies for you just from reading – just remember to breathe and turn it over to God – over and over and over. He will guide the way.

    Reply
  5. daysofwonderandgrace
    October 16, 2013

    Praying for all of you, Lisa!

    Reply
  6. Teresa
    October 16, 2013

    Praying for your family. I'm learning more and more that it's only in Christ's strength that we as parents can do what we need to do. Parenting kids from hard places is REALLY HARD.

    I haven't put my name in yet for the Monster headphones yet and I am homeschooling 2 of my 5 kids this year (one was planned, one became a necessity).

    Reply
  7. Kathleen
    October 16, 2013

    Praying for you. Remember to take time as you have to wait or as you drive, to sit on Jesus' lap and let Him parent you, kiss your hair, tell you how precious you are to Him and to hear His heart beat as you lay your head against His chest!

    Reply
  8. Mamitaj
    October 16, 2013

    Praying for your family, Lisa. I can only imagine the big feelings that are erupting.

    Reply
  9. Angela Crawford
    October 16, 2013

    Thinking of you and your family very much!!

    Reply
  10. Sandra Zimmerman
    October 16, 2013

    Praying for you! We have a first time family visit with our son coming up in November. The children don't know about it yet but I am sure we will be dealing with some big feelings prior to the visit. Praying you have a wonderful weekend with Dimples and that the other children could see a change in her.

    Reply
  11. Erika
    October 16, 2013

    Praying your day went well and praying for your upcoming family time with Dimples . Have a blessed Thursday 🙂

    Reply
  12. Angelina Denver
    October 16, 2013

    You have been on my heart lately. I am praying for your family often! Keep on going! God's got this!

    Reply
  13. Jenny
    October 17, 2013

    Praying for you today. Grace, peace, and JOY poured out to you in abundandance.

    Reply
  14. sleepyknitter
    October 17, 2013

    I will pray for a smooth weekend, no blowups, a successful weekend that leads the way for further healing for everyone.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 17, 2013

      Thank you so much.

      Reply
  15. Molly Kitsmiller
    October 17, 2013

    I will be praying for you – hopeful for some great changes!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 17, 2013

      Thanks Molly!

      Reply
  16. Katy@PurposelyFrugal
    October 29, 2013

    I know some people who are starting to work at a place for kids (most of whom have already been adopted) that have had trauma. They told me kids come from all over to it, and I just couldn't help but wonder if it's the same one your daughter's at or if she's at something completely different. I haven't been following your blog very long yet, so I haven't read all your posts about it.

    Reply

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