Poignant Moments

There are moments in my life as a mother when my heart grabs in my chest and I am so thankful for my beautiful children. Today one of those moments was dropped into the midst of a normal, messy day.

The big boys are all nearly on Christmas break, so I asked them to help me get the four younger ones settled for Quiet Hour. I went upstairs to tuck Little Man in his crib while Noah settled Eby into his napping spot. As I came down the stairs, I could hear Dimples carefully sounding out words. I walked into the family room to find her sitting with Samuel in the “ugly chair” reading a children’s Bible storybook. In the dining room, I found Rusty listening as Boo read to him.

It was a proud and happy moment for me to see my boys being so patient and kind with their younger sisters. I love my kids and I’m so proud of the people they are becoming.

I have received a few new questions that I am excited to share with all of you. But I also got a response to our last question that I want to share first:

I have thought about this question that Les asked. I saw it in the comments several days ago. I don’t think everyone is cut out to have “a lot” of kids. However, what constitutes “a lot” is different for everyone.

I think you have to be seeking what God wants for your family and not just what you think you want or don’t want. We can have selfish reasons for wanting more children or not wanting more children. I think the main thing is to be open to God’s leading.

I wanted to have more than our two biological children, but God did not have more children for us and when medical intervention failed God did not convict my husband to have more children by other means at that time, although I had the desire.

That is something else I completely believe in – that the Lord leads the husband and we need to listen to them. We should definitely be praying for them as the Lord speaks to them and guides them, but we need to be careful to follow our husband’s leadership. God gave it to them for a reason.

I also think that the Lord has timing that is unique and special for each family. He is a personal God and doesn’t give everyone the same things at the same times. I would suggest that Les and her husband pray and ask God to guide them and to show them how and when (or if) to grow their family. He will give the strength and ability to do what He asks of them.

I can relate to the problem of letting go of order and control. I did learn – with the Lord’s help – that control and order are not as important as my kids. They grow up so fast you don’t want to be spending your time obsessing about a perfect house or keeping the perfect schedule. Those things are still important to me, but I try to keep my priorities in perspective.

We have raised/are raising two bio. children. Our daughter is nineteen and our son is forever 14, he died not quite two and a half years ago. After his death, my old dream of adopting came back in my head. I prayed about it for several weeks, asking God to speak to my husband’s heart about it as an answer to me about the timing. To my pleasant surprise, my husband was open to praying about it and had a positive response. Sometimes God spaces out your family and surprises you with his own plans that are always better than ours!

You can find the rest of Lori’s story at:

I was particularly touched by her “Lessons on Grief and God”. There is so much that we can learn from one another, and so much we can gain just from knowing one another online.

Today has been a day of poignant moments, an unexpected email from an old friend, a short video sent by a new friend, and memories of Christmas five years ago when I was very ill. I’m thankful for a place that I can write, share, and learn from all of you.

Thank you once again for stopping by.


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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.


  1. Kathrin
    December 19, 2008

    Your kids are truly amazing. I wish I had a big brother like that for my girls. The pictures are wonderful!

  2. Les
    December 21, 2008

    Thank you everyone for your honest answers about having large families! In truth, I really already knew the answer… if God gives them to you, then he will provide all the grace, strength and resources neeeded to raise them!I tried to keep my answer short, so didn't explain that we would definitely take as many children as the Lord sent our way. We learned a long time ago that it is not our place but the Lord's to determine the size of our family. And we would both love more kids… we're just feeling a little overwhelmed with three young ones right now.I appreciated the mom who talked about callings. Our family has a calling and passion to reach the unreached areas of the world with the gospel and this requires international travel a few times a year. My husband and I have also been called to lead and diciple people at our church. I think people's responses have encouraged me to see that God has us doing what He wants us to do. If he adds more children later He may change some of our other callings.

  3. Les
    December 21, 2008

    I mean “disciple” instead of diciple.

  4. The Organic Nest
    December 22, 2008

    Love the pics of the kiddos reading to each other. That’s homeschooling bliss as far as I’m concerned 🙂 Thank you for all of your encouraging posts. Be blessed this Christmas and in the New Year! ~Jenny


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