On the Road with Bee

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Bee and I took a quick trip to Seattle for medical appointments last Friday. We had hours in the car, just the two of us, and we covered a lot of topics – hard things, funny things, and long movie descriptions. Bee has a new therapist, so we talked about the work we are doing with her. Bee will be the first to tell you that spending most of her life in an orphanage did not prepare her to live in a family.

We talked about the way children related to adults in her orphanage. They trusted each other, but not the adults. They banded together for strength and support, and as much as possible, they took care of themselves. Learning to trust adults and believe that her needs will be met by us is very hard.

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We had dinner with one of Bee’s most special friends, Alex, and her family. Then we went to my sister’s where we got to see my niece and have breakfast Saturday morning with my parents. It was a wonderful way to end our visit.

It’s extremely rare for me to get so much time with just one of my children. I’m even thankful for the long hours of driving – and for coffee, and diet Coke, that kept me awake on the road. An extra bonus was the beautiful sunshine!

Have a great start to  your week. Mine is starting with a phone meeting for Dimples and a (hopefully) good homeschool morning.

What does your Monday hold?

Be sure to enter the drawing for a pair of fantastic Monster Headphones; I want one of my readers to win!

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

9 Comments

  1. Paula Miles Spears
    October 7, 2013

    I love her little nose stud… Anna just got one, too. It's nice of you to let her have such a "grown up" look; I bet she lovess your for it! So nice you got some quality car time together. I get more good quality conversation in the car than anywhere else!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 7, 2013

      The nose piercing was a big decision, and I don't have any regrets. It was her birthday present 🙂 This is one of the many things I never quite imagined 🙂 Good to hear from you, Paula.

      Reply
  2. Jenny
    October 7, 2013

    Rare moments indeed. Once again, thanks for the encouraging post my friend!

    Reply
  3. Julie
    October 7, 2013

    It's amazing what her openness and wisdom can teach us all about orphanage life. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 8, 2013

      Julie, I've learned so much from my girls over the years. The sad fact is that a child without parents is defenseless and vulnerable. It's heartbreaking.

      Reply
  4. blesseday
    October 9, 2013

    I can't get over what a young woman she looks like–the hair has really made her look older! And so that makes the photo of you and her all the more precious–such a picture of how you are actually nurturing an emerging woman. Wow.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 9, 2013

      I'm still adjusting to the new very grown-up look. When kids come to us at older ages, the time we have with them as children is so short. It's bittersweet! Perhaps there is a blog post in that.

      Reply
  5. laurajonesjournal
    October 9, 2013

    Lisa, the photo of you and Bee made me get a lump in my throat and my breathe quietly gasped as if holding back a tear. It's just powerful to me. Our family is 4 bios who are stacked close together and slightly older then the younger 4 adopted sibs. If I'm honest, when life is busy I tend to crave one on one time with my older bios, and to place a great value on that. When life feels busy one on one time with my adopted children (who have been adopted older like 7-11) feels more like a true sacrifice, but I'm always glad I did it. I guess seeing your photo made me wonder if it's ever the same for you. If so or if not I'm touched by the sacrifices you make to love your adopted children, even when it's hard. BLESSINGS. Eyes on JESUS! Hope for HEAVEN….

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 9, 2013

      Thank you so much for commenting, Laura. I found the time with Bee to be so sweet because I wasn't trying to juggle the needs of the other children. We had uninterrupted conversations and were actually able to bring things to completion. Similarly, it is nice spending time just with Dimples when we travel to MT. Having siblings and sharing a mom are both very hard things for my girls. So often I'm trying to protect my younger ones from difficult behavior, and when I don't have that role, I can relax and enjoy my girls much more. This is complicated stuff!

      Reply

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