Mother’s Day for the Brokenhearted

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Happy Mother’s Day, friends. I hope there are sweet moments for each one of you today.

I am blessed to connect with many mothers through my blog, speaking, and life. Some of them are in the depth of struggle with their children, and Mother’s Day may be filled with tears, or even despair. Let’s pray for our sisters who are suffering today.

I wrote this post, Mother’s Day for the Brokenhearted, last year, and when I read it again, it seemed to be just as relevant. I hope it speaks to you today.

***

I’ve given birth eight times.  Call me crazy, but I birthed my babies naturally, and half of them at home. Each labor brought me to a moment of not knowing if I could make it through. It was unbelievably hard and sometimes I was scared. But every single time I went into labor, I set my mind on the purpose of the contractions – my baby. I focused on the joy that would come when that little one was in my arms.

These years are like that. I’m laboring for my children who came to me from hard places. There are days when I don’t think I’ll make it through, when the pain is too great and I’m scared. I cry out for an emotional epidural. Then I set my mind on my purpose of loving the children God gave me, of believing for their healing, and of holding on to the knowledge that God is good and He placed them in our family. I waver, I fail, then the people who love me come alongside and help me see the truth once again.

I come to this  Mother’s Day with joy and sorrow entwined. My arms have been filled, my table is surrounded; I know I am abundantly blessed. Yet, loving the brokenhearted has broken my heart, loving the wounded has wounded me, and loving orphans “in their distress” has brought distress to me.

This Sunday we will see women who are suffering because they have not been able to become mothers and there is severe aching in their hearts. What we may not see are the women who have children in prison, those who are walking the long journey of mental illness by their children’s sides, and mothers in the midst of painful struggles with children who have rejected the family, or forsaken the faith they once held dear.

I don’t have profound wisdom, only this, if your heart is hurting as Mother’s Day approaches, you are not alone. There is no shame in acknowledging that being a mother can be very hard. God knows this, and somehow he counts us worthy of this beautiful, broken, messy calling.

The Lord will,

…comfort all who mourn,  and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61: 2 – 4

I pray for glimpses of beauty and moments of praise in your heart this Mother’s Day.

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

10 Comments

  1. Cindy
    May 11, 2014

    I wish I had your support ……..but I will not give up for my God is with me.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      May 11, 2014

      Yes, he is – and he is faithful. I hope you get more support; it is so needed. Blessings to you, Cindy.

      Reply
  2. Alisa
    May 11, 2014

    Ah, yes, still relevant. Perfect description. What a gift you have to be able to put it so well into words. Thank you for your realness. Breathing deeply in the midst of labor pains with you. Trusting God…

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      May 11, 2014

      I so appreciate your comment, Alisa. Thank you for taking the time.

      Reply
  3. DFNY
    May 12, 2014

    Beautiful. Thanks for sharing this again.

    Damaris

    Reply
  4. MommaFoster
    May 13, 2014

    Well said, Lisa.

    Reply
  5. Jennifer
    May 13, 2014

    Lisa, if you get a chance go see the movie Moms Night Out. It will lift you up and make you laugh really hard. I walked away from the movie feeling refreshed and reminded that God did not make any mistakes making me the mother of the 4 children I have.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      May 13, 2014

      Laughing really hard sounds great! Thanks for the recommendation, Jennifer.

      Reply
  6. I am the mother to four young children. My oldest has a progressive, terminal illness. Her body and mind are failing. My middle two are adopted and the first bears many hidden scars and disabilities. Your post brings me comfort because there are times when I think God picked the wrong mother for my children. In my heart I know that he has it all under control.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      June 3, 2014

      Leslie, I'm so glad my words brought some comfort to you. You are carrying a heavy burden; I hope you have a community surrounding you and helping you in this time. You are loved by our Father, and He counts you worthy of being the mother of your children. I hope that today brings you joy.

      Reply

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