Mommy Encouragement – We Need One Another

Fall beauty - shamelessly stolen from Sweet Pea's Facebook page.

I got a text last night as I was going to bed.  My dear friend, a fellow adoptive mom with kids from “hard places,” said this:

Just read 2 Cor 3: 4-6 in my Bible study.  Read it!  God thinks we are capable of doing what he has called us to do!  So encouraging!!!!

I thought about sharing my thoughts on the passage, but the heart of what I want to say has more to do with the text than with the passage – which is very encouraging, by the way.  The beauty of the text is that my friend sent it.  We are busy women, aren’t we?  We race from one thing to another, trying to get it all done.  As another friend says, “So many needs, so little mom.” 

But we need to remember one another because there are days when we struggle.  Whether we are parenting children with massive trauma histories, parenting four children under the age of five, or are sorting things out with an older child, mothering is tough stuff.

We must encourage one another as mothers.  Don’t try to make it on your own, especially in challenging seasons of life.  And don’t leave your friends alone either.

Our minds may be weary from seeking answers to problems we never dreamed we  would face, our bodies may be weary from the physical demands of loving lots of little ones, our spirits may be weary as we suffer with our children in their struggles.  We cannot fulfill this calling of motherhood alone, we need friends to hold us up, come alongside us, and share in our joys and sorrows.

This same friend who encouraged me last night also loves me enough to tell me when I’m skating onto thin ice in my lack of compassion for a child, or when I’m on the verge of mishandling a situation.  She never judges me, but she loves me enough to speak truth into my life.

Another friend sent me an email about some issues she is facing with her son and said, “…I need a girlfriend mom expert opinion…”

We may not have the answers, but we may have just the right question that will help a friend sort things out.  We are in the mothering trenches together and we need to to encourage, support, exhort, and love one another.

To moms who are really struggling, I want you to know that I have been in that place.  It is very tempting to pull away and isolate yourself, out of shame, fatigue, or sinking depression, but you need to open the windows wide, call a friend, invite somebody to your home.  Shine light into the darkness and let somebody hold you up.

To the rest of us, this week, or maybe even today, encourage one friend.  Make a call, send an email, or be amazingly creative and actually write a note that goes in the mail.  Let’s love one another and share the burdens and joys of mothering.

#331 – 340 giving thanks

parent/teacher conferences at 7:15 this morning

girls happy to go to school early

hugs, kisses, kind touch

laughter and theology mixed at our care group last night

apples, apples, apples

family photo scheduled for Sunday afternoon

grandparents stopping by for a quick visit

friends who love and encourage me

sunset, rain,and a double rainbow all at once yesterday

winter wheat poking up bright green in fields

Take a moment to share how you have been encouraged by a friend – we would love to hear from you.

Encourage one another,

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. Abbey
    October 20, 2011

    Amen! Loved this post and it is so very true! So glad to count you among my friends….laundry folding never feels right without you. 🙂

    Reply
    1. One Thankful Mom
      October 20, 2011

      I almost mentioned my "laundry folding friend" but couldn't work it in easily. BTW, I have three loads to fold 🙂

      Reply
  2. Donne
    October 20, 2011

    So true. I have spent alot of time alone. This road can be lonely and we can make it more lonely by isolating ourselves.

    I have decided this is the year I am done with that. God is good even in my struggles and hiding my struggles allows Satan a foothold. No way!

    If sharing my struggles helps only one other person it is so worth it. If others have a hard time with it that is not my burden.

    So one friend to another—Thanks for all your words of encouragement! You have spurred me on many a time!

    Reply
    1. One Thankful Mom
      October 20, 2011

      Donna, so good to hear you are going to share and reach out this year. Let's encourage one another and the moms who are a few years behind us in their adoption journeys.

      Reply
  3. AmyE
    October 20, 2011

    Thank you for this, Lisa. I've been feeling isolated as I continue the struggle of parenting my 5 year old from a hard place. Feel like the friends I have either don't get it, or are overwhelmed with their own stuff. Often feel like I'm the only one reaching out … thanks for the encouragement to reach out … again.

    Reply
    1. One Thankful Mom
      October 20, 2011

      Amy, I'm so sorry you are feeling isolated – it can be very hard to find people who understand. For friends who don't get it, if they are willing to read The Connected Child or watch a few short videos on the Empowered to Connect website, it would help them and be a huge blessing to you. Online support groups can be helpful too, and perhaps more accessible.

      Reply
  4. Mama D's Dozen
    October 20, 2011

    I just invited a group of adoptive moms to join me in going through The Connected Child (and the Bible study). I told one mom that "it's not about the numbers, if even 1 mom wants to commit to studying together, I am willing to host and lead." Hoping, of course, that more moms will join us.

    While I have long distance friends to support and encourage me as I've walked a tough walk for a couple of years, I am praying that the Lord would bring me someone nearby … a coffee friend … a laundry friend … a prayer friend. I was with some long distance friends last weekend, and think I got more hugs in 2 days than I had had in a year. Seriously. I am desperate for a girlfriend I can sit with, pray with, visit with … and hug or get a hug from.

    Laurel

    Reply
    1. One Thankful Mom
      October 20, 2011

      Laurel, I'm so glad you are offering the Created to Connect study. It has the potential to bring many women together who need one another, and I hope in the midst of it you find at least one true friend. We all need friends to hug in real life. Honeybee told me today that I need to have coffee for five hours with a friend of mine – sounds good to me!

      Reply
      1. Emily
        October 20, 2011

        I love that Honeybee told you that. 🙂

        Reply
        1. One Thankful Mom
          October 20, 2011

          She said the funniest thing at a doctor's appointment today – I'll have to blog about it. She enjoys speaking her mind.

          Reply
  5. kristine
    October 20, 2011

    Lisa, thank you for this. It's so important. The mom of one of the boys on my son's baseball team committed suicide this summer. I just keep thinking if only she had reached out to someone the pain she was in would have eventually passed. She was a beautiful kind woman who sat on the benches at every game and you would never have suspected she was having trouble. We all need to let down our guard and not try to look so perfect when we are out in the world. I have wonderful friends in our town but for some of our adoption related stuff they just don't get it. So, I've reached out across the world through the internet and a handful of women have become dear friends. They get it and we are there for each other. Thanks Lisa for the encouragement to support each other.

    Reply
    1. One Thankful Mom
      October 20, 2011

      Kristine, I'm so sorry about the mom who took her life – such a tragedy. I love knowing that you've found support. It truly helps to connect with people who understand the challenges. I have some wonderful local friends that have stood by me through it all, but I also have some long distance friends I know I can call at any time. I'll never forget desperately searching the archives of our agency's Yahoo parent group for a woman who had posted about some severe challenges. In total desperation, I emailed her and asked if I could call. We talked for a long time. The next time I called her, I began crying the moment she picked up the phone – she just talked and kept me on the phone until I was able to share what was happening. She continues to be a great blessing to me. Thanks for your comment.

      Reply
  6. Emily
    October 20, 2011

    This post came at the perfect time for me. Thanks for the reminder that we are knit together in love (Col. 2) and meant for community.

    Reply
    1. One Thankful Mom
      October 20, 2011

      Emily – love your thoughts – we are indeed knit together.

      Reply
  7. coffeemom
    October 21, 2011

    It's the best part of blogdom….and just a gift. One I think SO many of us treasure. And one of YOUR gifts, in particular, to the rest of us. thank you!

    Reply
    1. One Thankful Mom
      October 21, 2011

      Thinking of you today – we'll connect soon. Today, maybe?

      Reply
  8. Mama D's Dozen
    October 21, 2011

    Yes … we all need support.

    I got an email yesterday, from someone who has never once commented on my blog. She has read it, and she admits to being very angry at me when I shared that we were disrupting the adoption of one of our children. However … yesterday she wrote to me and said, "I have walked a 1/2 mile in your shoes … and I need your support."

    I'm so glad that the Lord has showed me to be honest on my blog, about so many trials I have walked through. The Lord has used that honesty and transparency to show others that they can turn to me … that I will understand … that I will pray for them … that they are not alone. Yes, we all need to encourage and support one another.

    Laurel

    Reply
  9. Melodie
    October 23, 2011

    Thank you!

    Reply
  10. Sara
    October 23, 2011

    This is beautiful. Brings tears to my eyes and freedom to my heart.

    Reply

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