Maybe next week

I woke up at 4:12 AM when Little Boo climbed into bed next to me. In seconds I was hit with anxiety over the referral that hasn’t come, whether we are doing the right thing adding K. to our family, timing of trips to Ethiopia, and many other details. I tried to pray, to talk myself down, to sleep, and in the end I was reduced to the simplest of prayers, the ancient “Jesus Prayer”. “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner”. That was it, over and over, until I could relax and let the morning come, even if sleep didn’t.

Later in the morning I emailed Sue at CWA who told me that our case manager will not be back in the office until Monday. I almost cried with relief – not that I am happy that we won’t get our referral this week, but I’m glad to know that I can move out of “waiting on the edge of my seat” mode. I didn’t expect to feel this way. It is not that I must have these children and have them now, it is just that I want to know when I will have them. How soon is my life going to shift and change and become something new?

Little Boo and I went shopping this afternoon and picked out a small doll with long pink (yes, pink) hair for K. Apparently the little girls at her orphanage spend hours braiding the hair on their “My Little Ponies”, so we thought this would be a good variation on the theme. We also have a pony to send. At the craft store we bought a little photo album to begin working on. Most exciting to Boo was the purchase of a baby mobile that shines pretty images on the ceiling. It was on clearance and I couldn’t resist! If we don’t get a baby, I’ll have to let her have it on her bed, even if she is almost four.

Thank you for reading, commenting, and sticking with us through the wait. Waiting for the referral is just the beginning. Soon we’ll be waiting for a court date, then an embassy date, and then travel. I am quite sure that the Lord has serious lessons in this for me; perhaps I need to learn to be patient, to surrender my false perception of being in control, and to trust Him completely.

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.


  1. Raskell Party of 8
    November 10, 2006

    You bring me back to our wait. Those days were the hardest ever! Through it God showed me how powerful prayer was and how it is so good to release my anxieties and emotions to Him. I pray for God’s perfect timing (eventhough it is so hard) and for peace in your heart over the weekend and next week. Love, Sandra

  2. Lori
    November 10, 2006

    My theme song when under stress is this,”I cast all my cares upon You. I lay all my burdens down at Your feet. And any time I don’t know what to do. I will cast all my cares upon You.”
    I’m praying for you! And looking forward to hearing the news.
    It was great spending time with all of you last week.

  3. PastorMac's Ann
    November 10, 2006

    Cast your burdens upon the Lord and He will sustain you. 1 Peter 5:7


    Lifting you up in prayer through the peaks and valleys of this process.

    Sounds like you and Little Boo made the most of the afternoon.

  4. Elizabeth
    November 10, 2006

    Yay, now you can relax until Monday! 🙂

    Lifting you and your family (both far and near) to God in prayer.

  5. Anonymous
    November 17, 2006

    That last paragraph really touched me. How hard all f this is and has been. We love you. So much.


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