Making it Through the Weekend

What a weekend!  I would love to tell you that it was great, but it was actually hard and my heart is a little heavy in my chest.  Fortunately there were some definite bright spots.

Dimples came home from school on Friday feeling very edgy and irritable.  We invited three friends (sisters) to play and spend the night.  Although that may sound crazy, we love these kids, and Dimples does much better when there are friends to occupy her and help her keep herself in check.  It’s hard to explain, but trust me, three extra children is far easier than one very unhappy girl.

Russ went to his parents’ Friday after work and stayed the night, which was a treat for him.  I was glad for him to get some rest and enjoy being with them.  We wish we had more time with them, but the one hour drive each way combined with our family’s schedule makes it hard to visit as much as we would like.

The kids were great, but despite the presence of friends, Dimples still struggled.  Imaginative play is difficult for her and much time was devoted to building an elaborate fort and playing “house.”   By the time Russ got home at 3:00, I was worn out, but thankfully, I had plans to go to Costco with my friend, Michele, “Aunt Michele” for those of you who follow my blog closely.  We took off and had a grand time shopping, talking continually, and eating a slice of pizza for dinner.

I got home in time to give hugs and kisses as kids went to bed, but Honeybee was not happy, so that made bedtime tough.  Sweet Pea was here, but I was worn out from lack of sleep and needy children, so I went to bed and hoped for a fresh start on Sunday.

Sunday morning was rough with one little girl complaining bitterly about the breakfast choices, which morphed into how we were certainly the wrong family for her because we don’t give her the breakfast she wants.  Threats of running away followed, along with comparisons of our family to other families who would certainly provide omelets or lasagna for breakfast.  It was highly unpleasant and made me want to take a 30 minute shower.

By the time I got to church I was ready for a good cry, but I held it together for most of the service, or at least until communion.

The afternoon was better.  I planned a good dinner of pork loin, roasted vegetables, sesame green beans, salad, rolls, and brownies with ice cream for dessert.  It’s been awhile since I’ve made a good Sabbath dinner and my family was happy!  I put the pork and vegetables in the oven before we left for church, so it wasn’t too much work to finish up the meal when we got home.  Dimples set a pretty table and Sunshine found some nice orange candles to add a pretty fall touch.

The unexpected blessing came later that afternoon when our friends with the three daughters invited our five youngest over to play for the afternoon.  They were thrilled.  Once they were out the door we sat down with our five older children (Andrew and Mimi weren’t here) and had a spontaneous family meeting involving some planning and lots of discussion.  Then we just relaxed together until the younger kids got home.  It was good for my soul.

This is far more than you ever wanted to know about my weekend, but I guess it is “blog therapy” for me.  Sorry!

I am praying for a wonderful, productive week.  How about you?  What do you have coming up this week?

#251 – 260 giving thanks

three of my kids dancing to “mash-ups” behind me as I type

friends who care about my children

plans for my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary celebration this weekend

Sweet Pea’s visit

Russ’ time with his parents

a great meal with ten of our children around the table

warm days with kids playing in swimsuits – in October!

more time at home now that we aren’t traveling to Seattle so often

roasted vegetables – yummy

laughing with my big kids

Have a great Monday, friends.


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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.


  1. Mama D's Dozen
    October 3, 2011

    Thanks for sharing. Your blog therapy is also therapy for your readers … because it helps us to know that we are not alone.

    "Sunday morning was rough with one little girl complaining bitterly about the breakfast choices, which morphed into how we were certainly the wrong family for her because we don’t give her the breakfast she wants. Threats of running away followed, along with comparisons of our family to other families who would certainly provide omelets or lasagna for breakfast."

    That same scenario could happen at our house. So sad. So hard. So frustrating. I am so DONE with my Little Miss packing her bags to run away (she never makes it past the alley) … telling me that we are a horrible family. Oh. So. Hard.

    Hope your day is better … hope your week is BLESSED!


  2. Jeni
    October 3, 2011

    Thank you for being real :). It is a blessing.

  3. charity
    October 3, 2011

    ah lisa, i have lived that weekend a dozen times as well, with the kids who are already in our home! seems some children do not need the challenges of adoption for their lives to be challenging enough for them…i imagine your young lady is equally apprehensive and on alert as you are at the change of family schedule that isn't taking you to seattle all the time now…it will sort itself out and she will make peace with the new norm…but it will most definitely exhaust and try you all as well. i have thought of you often as i read psalms this month, and know you know where to turn for strength and encouragement…i read His word, and your blog on days like that:) enjoy the last warm days…isn't it always trying when you have to choose between better and best in a family( like sleep or spending time with the older ones?)

  4. Marlene
    October 3, 2011

    I was thinking the same thing as Laurel. Lisa, I so appreciate your honesty. We had the same scenario at our house a weekend ago. Our version started with fixing hair, then you don't want to feed me (I was serving sega wat and injera) and went down the same "rabbit hole," as we have come to call it. Thankfully we haven't heard the running away theme for about a year now, but we often hear comparisons to other families…tonight it was other families pay their children $25 for every time they get an "A" on their report card (so we must not love her as much). People really do that? You help us feel some normalcy in the midst of the craziness! Thank you for your boldness in ministering to families like ours.

  5. Paula
    October 3, 2011

    We have the running away theme at our house from one of our daughters, too. The last time, she actually packed a bag (a small rolling suitcase) with some clothes and a bunch of books. I asked her what the books were for, since she had earlier told me she planned to live on the streets. She said that even if she had to live on the streets, she wanted to be a good reader. Which still makes me smile, and takes the sting out of another trying moment. Hope your week goes more smoothly than your weekend did.

  6. Emily
    October 4, 2011

    I love daily-detail posts! 🙂
    Praying for you guys.

  7. Carole Q
    October 6, 2011

    And we thank you for your sacrifice in sharing Russ with us. It was a good visit and the only thing that could have made it better were if you were there, too. We appreciate you.


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