Dimples is coping with loss right now, and that is very hard for a little girl who struggles to process big feelings and has been wounded so much.
1. Dimples’ “special staff” member is gone on vacation for a month. This is the person at the school who is intentionally building the closest relationship with Dimples.
2. Russ and I had to cancel our visit due to my health. This was especially hard because it was a Parent Weekend, so many of the children had parents visiting.
3. Although being with family is unbearable for Dimples, she seems to miss us – I think. Last night she asked if she could have a Skype call with her sisters sometime soon.
4. And then there are the big losses of her first parents, extended family, home, culture, language, and so many other things. These losses form the foundation of her pain.
That’s a lot of loss for a child and Dimples is struggling to keep the pain from rushing out in a wave so big that she can’t control it.
Last week when we couldn’t make our visit, she told her therapist she was afraid I might die. She doesn’t want to lose another mom. I’m sure those feelings are very confusing for her since she also really doesn’t want me to be her mom.
The staff is giving her a lot of support by helping her to talk about her feelings and meeting her needs. We Skyped with her last Friday and assured her that I am not dying and that we have good doctors to help us.
I gave myself my last shot yesterday morning, had labs draw in the afternoon, and will see the hematologist today. Russ is coming to the appointment with me, which is hard with the schedule he has, and I really appreciate it.
Our friend, Emily, is here helping with the kids, which has made everything so much easier – and happier. This is her spring break from grad school and we love having her here.
Have a wonderful day, friends.
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