Little Man’s Thoughts on Grief

I’m always amazed at how insightful my young children are.  Since our friend, Stephen’s, father passed away recently, we’ve been praying daily for Stephen and his family.  One day Little Man offered this heartfelt prayer,

Lord, please help Stephen not to be naughty at home just because he is sad.

I’m not worried about Stephen being “naughty” but I’ve pondered my little boy’s words for several days.  Did he say that because he knows that when he feels sad, it looks like mad?  Did he pray it because he has seen his sisters’ sadness boil over as anger?

I’m not sure, but either way, it brings me back to the issue of grief that flows through some of my children’s hearts and lives. I’m working hard to listen well, be fully present, and not try to solve the problem.  I can’t fix the losses my children have experienced; there is no going back, but I can be with them in it.

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I spent every free moment yesterday reading  When Helping Hurts: Alleviating Poverty Without Hurting the Poor. . .and Yourself.  It is a fascinating book and one that anybody who is concerned for the poor should read. This includes widows and orphans, so those of us who are adoptive parents should pick it up.

Lisa

This post may contain Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. Robin
    March 26, 2012

    Hi Lisa, I love how carefully you listen to your children. I have had some of the most startling insights into my kids' hearts listening to their casual remarks. I sometimes learn more from little comments than in many "heart-to-heart" talks–where I end up doing too much talking! Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  2. abbey
    March 26, 2012

    I've long wanted to read that book. I'm going to order it right now! BTW…loved the thoughts on grief….I'm also realizing that sometimes my sad looks mad too!

    Reply
  3. shannon2818
    March 26, 2012

    That was very insightful of your son. Sounds like a great book – I'll have to check it out.

    Reply
  4. Nancy
    March 26, 2012

    Thank you for continuing to be not only His hands, but a role model for those of us who follow in your footsteps. Thank you.
    Nancy

    Reply
  5. Charlene Baldwin
    March 27, 2012

    Hi, Lisa–thanks so much for your timely observaton; am meeting with the author of the book, Stolen Childhood, written in Amharic and going into it’s 4th printing. Re: a girl nam ed Amelezewd who lived at AHOPE and succumbed to HIV+ a month before we moved here. Am doing an English “rewrite” to tell her story. Have been advised by a friend who works as an editor that the story will have the most impact if it’s written, in part, in the lst person–her viewpoint. That’s meeting some resistance here because of the idea that kids don’t have insights or register their surroundings. It’s a cultural thing, but explains why some issues are NOT addressed regarding grief. Will be working on the book this summer at Marion’s…look forward to a heart-to-heart! Blessings to Russ and all the precious hand-picked ones who occupy (and fly to and from) your nest! Love and blessings, Charlene and Owen

    Reply
  6. learningpatience
    March 27, 2012

    Wow! That's an awesome prayer from Little Man!

    I'd be interested to know more of your thoughts on that book!

    Reply
  7. Kim
    March 27, 2012

    So, Lisa, what do you do with a stuffer who clearly needs to grieve but goes about life as if nothing has happened and DOESN'T act out in ANY way?

    Reply

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