It had to happen. For nearly three months I’ve hardly left my house, but last Saturday I found myself at the grocery store and realized that I am emerging from my cocoon. My world was very small for many weeks, revolving around physical therapy and a few other medical appointments. Then we added church, and finally our small group. I even met a friend for coffee last week.
I would still rather be home than anywhere else. I can feel whatever I need to feel, be quiet (answering the phone only when I feel up for it), and I never have to make small talk. I’m finding, though, that when I make myself leave the house, I’m nearly always glad. I pace myself because I still get tired quickly, but as my body heals, my heart is coming along as well.
I find myself wanting to see friends, laughing a little more, and even wanting to get back to some decluttering projects. My sister, Laura, arrived last night and is here for the week. Her past two visits have revolved around driving me to PT and taking care of my kids. This time we’re planning to cook a few meals for the freezer, go to my book group, and have dinner with all of our big kids.
We even hosted a small Easter gathering, nothing like the big, crazy gatherings of past years, but we had friends in our home. Thankfully, the weather was nice enough for the kids to play outside which made it a relatively calm affair. I was exhausted at the end of the day, but I felt a little more like myself than I have in awhile.
Slowly, slowly, I’m emerging from my safe place and it’s okay.
Friends, I hope you had a good Easter. It was an emotional day for us, but we made it through, hugging each other and taking lots of deep breaths.
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