My Learning Curve: A Moment of Connection In a Moment of Pain

C W crying

My son rushed into the kitchen gripping his left hand in his right, yelling, “I need tweezers! I need tweezers!” I asked if he had a sliver and could I see it. He turned away from me.

Despite his efforts to hold back tears, I could see that he was in pain.

I gave him the tweezers and he tried to pull the sliver out–but it was stuck.

I shot up a prayer, “Lord, please let him be open to me helping and let this be a connecting moment.”

I offered to help again, this time he came to me, holding out the tweezers. What I finally saw was the top of a large sliver wedged under his fingernail – ouch!

Thankfully there was enough of the end exposed to grip the sliver with the tweezers. I took a calming breath and tried to pull it out, but it was really stuck. My son was in pain and not happy.

I prayed aloud that Jesus would help us get the sliver out, then I gripped the end and very slowly pulled once again. On the third try, a 3/4 inch-long chunk of wood emerged from under the nail, blood pouring out as it exited his finger.

I was so relieved – so was my son, but man, did it hurt.

He let me help him wash and bandage his finger.

Later, as he ate breakfast, he said, “I’m glad you got the sliver out.” I answered that I was praying Jesus would help us because I could see it really hurt.

With relief, he replied, “He sure answered fast.”

He didn’t hug me when he left for school, but as I stood at the front door praying over my youngest three, I rested my hand on his shoulder and he leaned, ever so slightly, against me.

My son trusted me to help him and allowed me to connect with him in a moment of pain. This is a big deal for us – a very big deal.

How about you? Do you have a story of connecting with one of your kids from “hard places?” I would love to hear from you.

with hope and gratitude,


Signature Lisa Claire

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

1 Comment

  1. Kelly
    May 9, 2016

    Thanks for sharing that story. I’m so thankful for those moments when my son trusts me in those painful moments. Most often for us it involves cutting his nails. He is so nervous and keeps pulling away in fear, but if I can be patient, he will let me help him and then he feels so much better. I wish moments like that happened more often, but they are sweeter because they are hard won.


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