Just Friday

Russ and I started today with two hours of meetings.  The first was an appointment to receive feedback on Dimple’s neuropsychological assessment.  It was a conference call with our local case manager, Dimples’ therapist in MT, and the folks at Seattle Children’s.  As we expected there was nothing discovered that gave us incredible insight into our challenges, but there was support for some of the things we’ve recognized.  Fortunately, Dimples has been blessed with a great mind and the ability to learn, which is going to provide her with many opportunities as she grows, in addition to helping her be successful in school.

Our second meeting was a continuation with our case manager who is guiding us through myriads of paperwork and advising us as we press through this process.  We’re also planning ahead toward the day when Dimples comes home.  Remodeling our home is not optional, but a necessity, in order to provide Dimples with her own bedroom, as well as some space for the other kids.

A friend invited Russ to go cross-country skiing tomorrow morning and we were both so happy that he could simply say “yes.”  Weekends have always been particularly difficult and involved extensive planning; Russ rarely left me alone and couldn’t do the things he loves.  The freedom for him to go skiing is a big deal to us.

My bookgroup is reading Unbroken, which we gave to Samuel for Christmas last year. I picked it up and it immediately grabbed me. Somehow I feel guilty reading for pleasure because it feels like I should be working doing something… Last month my group read The Big Burn, which I didn’t manage to read, but Russ listened to as he traveled to a meeting in southern Idaho.

Unbroken is sitting on my desk alongside a stack of trauma/attachment/adoption books; I should probably pick it up and read while the kids have Quiet Hour. I’m also making my way through Building the Bonds of Attachment again. It’s been several years.

I don’t think I’ve cried today (yet) and I actually slept last night; I was stunned when I woke up and the room was already  light.  I think we’re making progress.

Have a great weekend friends.

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Lisa

 

This post may contain Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. Emily
    January 18, 2013

    You slept past five?!!! 🙂

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      Yes, it was so strange and I know it was good for me. Although I did miss the quiet morning.

      Reply
      1. Emily
        January 18, 2013

        You can always just do what I do at your house and stay up UNTIL the quiet morning…

        Reply
        1. Lisa Qualls
          January 18, 2013

          I would never make it!

          Reply
          1. Laura
            January 18, 2013

            Or come visit me since you almost always sleep in at my house!

          2. Lisa Qualls
            January 18, 2013

            I should do that, Laura.

  2. maggie gieseke
    January 18, 2013

    Hang in there Lisa… maybe let yourself be engrossed in Unbroken… you deserve so much but a very good book is a good start, and Unbroken is wonderful.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      Thank you, Maggie. Maybe the kids will somehow occupy themselves for more than a few minutes at a time…

      Reply
  3. Kara
    January 18, 2013

    I feel so connected to you, with our struggles with our E. Praying and grateful that you are a little down teh road ahead of me. I always feel like I don't know anyone that "gets it," and that at this point even our adoption community has moved on without us. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      Kara, I'm so sorry. These deep struggles often lead us to isolation and it is so important to fight it. If you can find even one friend you can call, it makes all the difference. I'm glad my blog is helping you – I wish you lived closer.

      Reply
    2. courtneycassada
      January 19, 2013

      we do not have nearly the same struggles you do, kara. but i have not moved on without you. not at all. you are such an encouragement to me…even just by your honesty!

      Reply
  4. Ann Zinsmeister
    January 18, 2013

    Reading fiction is restorative and thus a positive, healthy sign….Unbroken is a great read, it made the rounds in our family a few years ago. Happy skiing to Russ and happy reading to you dear friend. Love that your girls are knitting away with that beautiful teal yarn. Have a peaceful weekend.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      Thank you, Ann. It's good to have a little bit of room to breathe.

      Reply
  5. Lauren L
    January 18, 2013

    You are healing too. Wounds you may not have realized were as deep as they are.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      Yes, Lauren, this is deep stuff and it's not easy to go through, but God is the great healer.

      Reply
  6. Ann Z.
    January 18, 2013

    ..oops I meant reading for pleasure is restorative. Unbroken is non fiction, my bad….

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      I knew what you meant 🙂

      Reply
  7. Paula
    January 18, 2013

    This is where the healing begins. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      Oh Paula, I hope so. Thanks for your prayers and for leaving comments – it's good to feel connected.

      Reply
  8. sweetaffinity
    January 18, 2013

    What time do you typically go to sleep if five is your regular time to get up?

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      Not early enough – I've just had lots of trouble sleeping under the stress. In a perfect world, I would love to go to sleep by 10:00.

      Reply
  9. Vertical Mom
    January 18, 2013

    Unbroken will really speak to you. It is such redemptive story of a man who lived through horrific trauma and God's grace brought him to a place of peace.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      I've heard such great things about it; I hope Russ can read it too. He often listens to books when he travels, and I think he has some work travel coming up.

      Reply
  10. kristine
    January 18, 2013

    So happy good things are happening. A room of one's own is essential for some children. Hope your weekend is lovely.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      Kristine, it took me a long time to realize that the need was great enough that we absolutely had to do something about it. A couple of our kids would do better if they had their own rooms. We'll see what we can do and what God provides. Thanks for commenting.

      Reply
  11. SleepyKnitter
    January 18, 2013

    Thankful to read that life is both calming down and freeing up for you in some ways. I do feel such deep, deep empathy for you in your struggles and recognize so much of what you say in our own experience. It makes me want to give you a big hug and something cozy like the perfect book, blanket, or chocolates. What a lot you have been through in just a few years. Thank you for blogging about it, what you have been able to blog about. I have lacked your courage, so my blog talked a little about what was happening with our situation, enough to let people know there were serious troubles, but largely glossed over it and only posted once every couple of weeks, not often enough to truly share what was happening. In sharing, you have ministered, even when it was you yourself who needed the ministering. Bless you for every word.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      You probably can imagine how badly I wanted to try not to mention this…or shut down my blog all together. This is painful stuff, so I completely understand why you didn't write about it and of course, there is always the issue of privacy that we have to be careful not to forget. Writing this has definitely been therapeutic for me, and I expect that will continue to be true for a long time. Thanks so much for caring and leaving me kind and gentle comments.

      Reply
    2. Sammie
      January 18, 2013

      I have been where you are, and so understand feeling gulity that you have time to do things that you enjoy. You will get back in balance, it will take time. Grieving takes time and energy, be very gentle with yourself. I'm so gald your husband got to get out and ski, just what he and the family needs. You will find your balance again as a family, it takes time. Taking care of yourself now is the best thing that you can do for Dimples.

      Reply
      1. Lisa Qualls
        January 18, 2013

        Sammie, those are good words for me. Russ and I were just saying tonight that it feels somehow wrong to be able to relax and be happy…but we know it is a good thing. Sunshine has two friends spending the night and it has all been just so sweet and fun. We haven't worried about anything – except refusing to let the girls watch a scary movie for fear that one of them will want to go home in the middle of the night. Life feels sort of simple.

        Reply
  12. Dawn Wright
    January 18, 2013

    Continuing praying for complete healing! For you, for Dimples, for your whole family!!! This process may be painful, – it already has been, but PRAYING that God will use this for everyone to heal!!!! You have all been heavy on my heart as you walk this road…..

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 18, 2013

      Thank you, Dawn. I appreciate every comment and every prayer. We're believing for healing.

      Reply
  13. Mavis
    January 19, 2013

    I have been reading and crying and praying and I just haven't known what to write. I want to let you know that you are on my heart and mind and I am praying. God is SO powerful. May the Holy Spirit heal and give you peace.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      January 19, 2013

      Thank you, Mavis. It is a great blessing to not be alone on this road. We are so grateful for your prayers.

      Reply
  14. Sadee
    January 21, 2013

    So grateful for a night of sleep for you. 🙂

    Reply

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