“Mom, I found something out at camp.”
“What was it?”
“I can give a lot of love. I can make people happy; I was good at that at camp. I didn’t even know I could do that.”
Can you even imagine how full my heart felt when she said this? A child who has been orphaned and spent her life in an orphanage has deep wounds that need to be healed. Those wounds made it very hard for Honeybee to receive love when she joined our family. She didn’t trust us, didn’t feel safe with us, and guarded herself from being part of the family.
Slowly, she is healing and now she is not only able to receive love, but she can give it. What pleases me so much, is that she not only is able to give love, but she knows she is capable of it. It takes maturity and insight for her to know that.
Honeybee is maturing, growing, and healing. I see so much change in her and my heart is encouraged.
While I’m rejoicing over Honeybee’s healing, I am also struggling with the challenges Dimples is experiencing. We have had some very hard days and my stomach has been aching. It is taking great effort not to give way to worry and fear.
Our pastor said something yesterday that went like this; worry is practical atheism. I have no trouble believing that God holds the universe together, that He is active and present in my life, and yet, I worry about Dimples as if He is not aware of every detail of her body, mind, and heart. Why do I let fear grab hold of my mind? It is an act of sheer faith to lay my worries down and trust in the Father who loves us all.
I’m on my way to Seattle this morning. My father is very ill and once again, I’m fighting worry. I already had a trip planned for medical appointments for Honeybee and Dimples, so I’m leaving early to visit my parents first. I’ll spend time with Kathleen and hopefully a couple of other special friends while I’m there.
I’ll try to write while I’m gone, but most of my hours will be filled with driving and being with people. When we leave Seattle, the girls and I will go directly to Russ’ family reunion in north Idaho. It is going to be a very full week.
Thank you for reading my blog. Knowing you are out there presses me to process and contemplate our life as a family.
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