My heart is broken
My mommy and daddy died
I have a hard life
I have to get used to a new family
I just don’t know it
But God has given me a good family now
I thank God that He has given me a good family
I love my Mom and Dad
My heart aches a bit each time I read this and I have to pause for a moment.
Honeybee sang this to me last night at bedtime and I asked her if I could share it with you as a window into the heart of a child adopted at an older age. Honeybee has been home two years, but some days her grief is still fresh. I’ve shared this before, but Honeybee did not know that her parents had died until we told her. All of the years that she lived in the orphanage, she maintained hope that her mommy would come back for her. It makes me angry that it fell to us to break her heart, but maybe she needed the hope of her mother’s return to just keep living.
In the rush of my life, it is easy – horribly easy – to forget her sorrow. I rush through the bedtime routine: showers, pajamas, teeth, meds, stories, prayers. Then I hear a quiet sniff from the bottom bunk. I lean down to see tears shining on her cheeks. I hold her for a moment, pray for her, kiss her several times, then give her a firm hug. She nestles under her blankets and closes her eyes.
Later I check on the children and find Sunshine curled next to her – the comfort of a sister, a companion in the loneliness, and their heads touch in the darkness.
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