Her Very Last Visit

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Dimples is here for her very last home visit. The time has gone by so quickly; it’s  hard to believe that we’ve reached this milestone. Samuel drove to the MT/ID border on Tuesday to pick her up. Sunshine went with him so the girls had some sister time on the way back. We had one day at home and then headed to Seattle yesterday for appointments at Seattle Children’s.

This visit feels different to me. Dimples seems calmer and less anxious – I feel calmer and less anxious too. I don’t find myself constantly thinking, “How do I handle this?” or “What therapeutic technique do I use now?” This seems more like normal parenting. I give her prompts and at least once a day I remind her that she’s the kid and I’m in charge, but I can often be lighthearted and that seems to be enough for now.

In a month Dimples will move home and reality will hit, but for now, I’m enjoying the ease of this visit. Reality will come, but these good days give me hope.

We want to set Dimples up for success by providing her with the high structure she thrives in, so we’re timing her return home to be less than a week before school begins. She’ll jump right into school, sports, and youth group. When she was younger, I couldn’t possibly fill her time the way she (very, very desperately) needed, but now she is a young teen and the options for positive activities are much greater.

After appointments, we stayed the night with Kathleen and her family near Seattle. Last night I went to bed before Dimples and Sunshine knowing that when the movie they were watching was over, they could tuck themselves in. As I fell asleep I found myself noting once again just how normal it felt. Today will not be as structured, so we’ll see how it goes.

I hear the girls waking up in the room above me, so I’ll wrap this up. Have a good weekend, friends.

P.S. Forgive the dearth of new pictures. Isaiah is coming over to see us this morning and I’ll ask him to take some with his iPhone. My phone doesn’t take pictures and I finally returned Noah’s camera to him for his honeymoon – one more technology problem I need to solve.

Lisa

 

 

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

22 Comments

  1. Leslie Raneri
    July 18, 2014

    God is so good! Praying for y'all. <3

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 18, 2014

      Thanks, Leslie. You'll get to see her yourself at camp!

      Reply
  2. Chantelle
    July 18, 2014

    So happy for you all! <3

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 18, 2014

      Thank you, Chantelle. What a journey we're all on!

      Reply
  3. Laura
    July 18, 2014

    Fun, scary, and yet hopeful times ahead. I noticed how Dimples had grown and changed at Noah and Katie's wedding. She was engaged, fun, listened, and she seemed to be having fun with her siblings. At one point you had to tell her the plan she had created was not going to happen, and there was not drama, just a disappointed shrug and she walked away—huge progress. See you tomorrow when I get Sunshine!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 18, 2014

      Laura, you're so right, the progress is huge. It's amazing and a little scary. See you tomorrow!

      Reply
  4. Mary Ostyn
    July 18, 2014

    Lisa, So happy things are feeling more like normal parenting. Praying for a good transition.

    Mary

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 18, 2014

      Mary, you know how amazing this is. Thanks so much for your prayers.

      Reply
  5. Laurel
    July 18, 2014

    Praising God for calmness and less anxiety!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 18, 2014

      Me too, Laurel! Thanks for sharing our good days.

      Reply
  6. I've been following for a while now and I have to say thank you for sharing the whole journey. To hear you use the phrase "feels like real parenting" even for moments gives me such hope! I have four beautiful adopted trauma kiddos and nothing we do "feels" like what my other friends go through as far as parenting on a day to day basis!!! It all feels like CRAZYville parenting! I am thankful an awesome adoptive Mom's group where I can share my normal and they get it! I am thankful for your sharing because so many posts I get! I will continue to pray, hope and work to one day also being able to utter the phrase, "normal parenting"!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 18, 2014

      It really feels wonderful, and a little bit like I'm holding my breath. So far so good! We're having another good day.

      Reply
  7. Sandra Zimmerman
    July 18, 2014

    Glad to hear things are going well. What program was/is Dimples involved in?

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 18, 2014

      Sandra, I haven't shared that publicly, but you can email me privately lisa@onethankfulmom.com

      Reply
  8. JJennifer P
    July 18, 2014

    Great news! What progress to feel "normal".

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 18, 2014

      "Normal" feels blissful.

      Reply
  9. Luann Yarrow Doman
    July 18, 2014

    I am overjoyed at this positive news. Yesterday you wrote about having a wrap-around in place, and I want you to know I pray regularly for Dimples. Her story has touched my heart. I have my phone alarm set for 10:20 am every day…it was a pill reminder for when I was on antibiotics months ago, and I use it as a reminder to pray for the children we're adopting (learned that idea from you). When I stop to pray for my D, M, and L, I will also pray for Dimples and her upcoming transition. I can't wait to see God's story unfold in the lives of our children. I am confident they will be oaks of righteousness, a display of the Lord's splendor as He replants them into our families. xo

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 18, 2014

      Luann, thank you a million times over for praying for Dimples. As i was driving yesterday, I was praying through my kids and I was struck by how many people care about Dimples and pray for her. I know that all of your prayers are making a difference.

      Reply
  10. Jessica Pair
    July 19, 2014

    I am so glad things are going well. I will continue to pray for Dimples and the rest of you, including your support team.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 19, 2014

      Thank you, Jessica. That means so much to me. Every single person on our team has a full, busy life. Some with lots of kids, others with school and careers. That they would give so much of themselves for Dimples and our family is a gift.

      Reply
  11. nancy
    July 19, 2014

    This feels good. Really really good. Prayers for continued successes. She, you, your family is due for it! And again, thank you for the transparency for those of us who follow in your footsteps.
    ~nancy

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      July 21, 2014

      Thanks for the sweet words, Nancy. It's good to hear from you.

      Reply

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