He Was There

windfall pass

Last week I wrote about my fear of driving past the site of the accident; thank you for extending grace to me as I process my grief.  I was carried by your prayers and the Lord met me in such a sweet and powerful way.

My plan was to go a new route in order to avoid the curve in the road that changed our lives forever. As Russ left for work, he pulled me close, wrapped me tightly in his arms and prayed over me. I was ready.

I headed north on Highway 95, thinking about the roads I always take and how well I know them. I wished I could go that way, but I needed to protect myself from seeing that fearful place.

Soon I was at the turn-off for the new route, and I surprised myself by going right by. I could have changed my course, but in those brief seconds, I didn’t. I’m not sure why. I drove on, my mind racing as details of the accident surfaced.

I prayed continually as the miles went by; I told the Lord that I was afraid. In a rare moment of clarity, he spoke deeply into my heart, “I was there.”

In the place of our greatest pain and sorrow, Jesus was with us. Russ and I felt his presence more powerfully than ever before. We felt the presence of the Holy Spirit, a comforting, weighty, impossible to explain, peace over us.  We were not alone.

I felt the Lord nudging me to reconsider that curve on the highway. Yes, it’s where our car slid on ice, crumpled, spun, and landed on its side. Yes, it’s where I was trapped in the wreckage, and where Kalkidan was lifted out and CPR begun.

It’s also where our loving Father sent help in the form of skilled people driving by on the highway, and where a stranger knelt on the ground to hold my hand. It’s where Kalkidan’s soul was released from her body and she rushed into the arms of Jesus.

He was there. Our savior was there.

In our greatest fear and sorrow, he didn’t leave us – not even for a moment. That farmer’s field is the place where God showed himself powerfully to us. It’s where he spared my life, while taking my daughter’s, which I can’t even begin to understand, yet I’m profoundly thankful to be alive.

As I neared the curve in the road, I began softly singing, Sovereign Over Us. I fought against the fearful memories, focusing on the goodness of God. Soon it was almost in view. I slowed just enough to glance at the tall grass and think, “He was there. He was there.” Then it was behind me and I smiled, tearful with relief.

I will not let the enemy of my soul destroy the truth that God was with us. He is with us. We have nothing to fear.

Lisa

 

This post may contain Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

28 Comments

  1. Sherri
    August 31, 2015

    Beautiful testimony of God's Grace. Hugs.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      Thank you, Sherri.

      Reply
  2. Sonya Hillrich
    August 31, 2015

    SO very beautiful. & vulnerable.
    God is alive & active in your grief. You are a picture of His grace, Lisa. Thank you.
    ~

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      You are so kind, Sonya. I like what you wrote about God being alive and active in this process. I feel like I'm holding his hand most of the time.

      Reply
  3. Juiie
    August 31, 2015

    Powerful words, Lisa! Thank you for sharing this part of your journey.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      Thank you for walking with me, Julie.

      Reply
  4. jentompkins
    August 31, 2015

    Lisa, have you seen the new Disney movie, "Inside Out"? It might be a bit much for your crew with the year you've had. But one of the things I liked most from the movie was the clear depiction of Joy and Sadness co-existing in our hearts/minds. I was weeping as I read this post, but also feeling joy at this clear truth that you expressed about our sovereign God. Life is confusing and complicated. Thanks for this simple reminder.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      Jen, I haven't seen the movie, but some of my kids have and I've heard a lot about it. I really do feel such joy and relief at the reminder that Jesus was with us. He is faithful.

      Reply
  5. Luann Yarrow Doman
    August 31, 2015

    Not for a moment. Your post brought tears to my eyes and goosebumps to my arms. Whenever I hear the song… not for a moment did he forsake me…I pray that someday soon the 3 siblings we're adopting will also sing those lyrics as a prayer of thanksgiving to our God.
    Thank you for sharing this powerful message. Love to you.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      Luann, I LOVE that song and have listened to it so many times in the past months.

      Reply
  6. Chris
    August 31, 2015

    Yes Faith! There is no room for fear. Thanks for your example of standing on His Promises!!!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      I don't know if I'm much of an example, Chris, but I hope my struggle is helpful.

      Reply
  7. Michelle
    August 31, 2015

    Powerful.
    So much to consider in these words and how they they apply to all of us.
    Thank you for sharing so much from your journey through grief and in healing!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      Thank you for reading, Michelle, and for taking a moment to comment.

      Reply
  8. Joelle
    August 31, 2015

    Beautiful.

    Reply
  9. Joelle
    August 31, 2015

    Have you read the Hawk and the Dove series? My favorite part of the whole series is when the F
    father of the monastery comes to grips with his anger towards God as God speaks to his soul the very words you wrote above. That is the deepest truth I hold near to my heart. That and the fact that He is faithful; not my wavering faith but His faithfulness alone.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      I haven't read those books, Joelle. Maybe I should.

      Reply
  10. mommafoster
    August 31, 2015

    A powerful reminder for me today. Thank you.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      You're very welcome; Jesus is near.

      Reply
  11. Melissa Joy
    August 31, 2015

    Emmanuel, Amen.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      Amen

      Reply
  12. Jennie
    August 31, 2015

    Praising Him for how He spoke to your heart. Thank you for giving testimony.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      August 31, 2015

      I'm so thankful too, Jennie. Thanks for the comment.

      Reply
  13. mkrksk
    August 31, 2015

    Beautiful post. What a victory for you.

    Reply
  14. Susan Saba
    August 31, 2015

    Oh Lisa! What truth you have written! Yes, He was, is and week be here with us. I LOVE you.

    Reply
  15. Jeri
    September 1, 2015

    Amen, Lisa. What a healing you have gone through.

    Reply
  16. Kirsten Miller
    September 1, 2015

    Beautiful, Lisa. He was there. Amen!

    Reply
  17. Kathrin
    October 29, 2015

    Thinking about you!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

I accept the Privacy Policy