We celebrated Ladybug and Honeybee’s tenth birthdays on Saturday. According to the information we were given, Honeybee was born in the same month and year as Ladybug. It’s a rather long story, but we were given the option of choosing a birth date for her, although there was no guarantee that the date we chose would show up in her court documents. We decided that she might feel a lot of pressure to “catch up” with Ladybug academically, socially, etc. so we aged her down by one year. Not long after we made the decision, I began to think about how independent Honeybee probably was and I questioned whether we had done the right thing.
Upon meeting Honeybee I realized that in many ways she seemed as old as Ladybug and when her doctor met her for the first time she said, “She is almost ten, right?” We quickly came to the conclusion that we needed to keep her birthday as September 1998, but what day? We didn’t want to make her older than Ladybug, so that left ten days as options. Then the girls made it easy when they suggested that they share a birthday and be “twins”.
We won’t legally change Honeybee’s birth date until we readopt her in our state, which is when we will also officially change her name. The Ethiopian courts always give children their father’s first name as a middle name, and we think she would prefer something prettier than Russell. I can’t say that I feel completely confident about the girls sharing a birthday, but we have a little bit of time to think about it.
Honeybee LOVED frosting her cake!
Boo and Dimples made many wonderful gifts comprised primarily of paper and copious amounts of tape.
Ladybug created special birthday hats for the two of them.
Honeybee got a very special doll and Ladybug got a new dress for her doll.
The most touching moment of the evening was when I carried Honeybee’s cake, ablaze in the light of ten candles, and set it on the table in front of her. My voice caught in my throat as we sang Happy Birthday to her. At AHOPE, all of the children’s birthdays are celebrated together on one day of the year. But Saturday night, the cake was for her, the gifts were for her, and we sang just for her. Then we did it all again for Ladybug. It was great.
Here they are in their completely spontaneous glory (they made me promise not to send this out as our Christmas photo).
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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.