The Most Unexpected Reminder of Kalkidan’s Birthday

I don’t have to tell you I’m kind of hanging by a thread this week as Kalkidan’s birthday approaches. So many emotions are swirling in my heart and mind.

In the spirit of not sinking into depression, yesterday I took a good walk and today – don’t laugh now – I did yoga for the second time ever using our old Wii Fit.

Yes, we have a Wii Fit that still works. It was quite the ordeal getting it up and running last month.

If you aren’t familiar, when you log on, the Wii Fit greets you with chatty messages about how long it’s been since you’ve exercised, how much weight you’ve gained, or with a message to remind a family member to get back into their exercise routine.

Imagine my surprise when I got this message today. I nearly had to sit down.

IMG_2502

I stood staring at the screen – not sure if I wanted to move past it or leave it there for a long time. Finally, I moved on, and this was the next screen.

IMG_2503

Really?

You’ve got to be kidding. It’s like the Wii thought, “Hey, now that I’ve knocked you over, let me kick you in the head.”

Later, Wogauyu asked, “Why didn’t you tell the Wii that Kalkidan died?”

I replied, “I guess I just forgot – it wasn’t on my list.”

I want to be gracious and spiritual and demonstrate a strong faith, and most the time I can.

But sometimes I have questions and I feel ripped off and I just don’t understand.

It’s not that I doubt God, I don’t, but this is hard. Yet I’m keenly aware that in the hard, Jesus is present.

We’ll get through this week and we’ll get past the anniversary of the accident. Our family will make it through October 29th and December 27th year by year, over and over again.

We’ll keep loving Jesus and loving one another. We’ll think of Kalkidan, holding her close in our hearts, knowing we’ll see her again one day. I have a feeling when we do, it will feel like no time has passed at all.

And there will be no tears in heaven.

Lisa

Portrait-small

This post may contain Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

17 Comments

  1. Emily
    October 25, 2016

    Ah friend. I’m so sorry for that kick. 🙁 we are thinking of and praying for you all this week.

    I have to say- when I saw the message- I wondered if she had programmed it herself! I could definitely imagine she would have appreciated even the WiiFit getting in on reminding everyone to remember to celebrate her 🙂

    I love you all.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 26, 2016

      That’s a funny thought – makes me smile!

      Reply
  2. Kirsten
    October 25, 2016

    I am constantly amazed at your faith and strength. You are an absolute inspiration. Know that Kalkidan is looking down on you with an enormous smile knowing she is not far from your thoughts and your heart.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 26, 2016

      I don’t feel very strong, Kirsten, but thank you for encouraging me along the way. What else can we do, but just keep holding to what we know is true and keep walking forward in faith? One day it will all be clear to us.

      Reply
  3. Amanda
    October 25, 2016

    Oh man. What a punch in the gut. I’m sorry, Lisa.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 26, 2016

      Thanks, Amanda.

      Reply
  4. Luann
    October 25, 2016

    Sending love and warm thoughts during this tough week.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 26, 2016

      Thank you, Luann.

      Reply
  5. Lauren McMurray
    October 25, 2016

    Lisa, Thank you for your honestly. It is good to be reminded to be praying for you all. It’s comforting to know that these sneaker waves of grief are shared (and ironic that technology can be as blindsiding as it is helpful).
    Love you💛❤️

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 26, 2016

      We are grateful for your prayers and your friendship – and the picture of your daughter with paint all over her face still makes me smile.

      Reply
  6. Emily Anne Kizer
    October 25, 2016

    I’m so sorry for your pain. Love you. No tears in heaven!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 26, 2016

      No more tears – thank you, Jesus.

      Reply
  7. Glenda Dunaway
    October 25, 2016

    Oh, Lisa! Reading this made me want to kick the wii, hug you, cry and thank the Lord for His grace. Your words mean so much. Through the happy times and the hard places. Thank you for being transparent.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 26, 2016

      I was tempted, but then I remembered that I had only done yoga once and I should probably try it at least a few more times 🙂 Thank you for sticking with me all these years, Glenda.

      Reply
  8. Emily
    October 26, 2016

    This has made my breath catch in my chest, and my heart aches for your sorrow. I’m praying that you would feel comfort knowing that the LORD sees and is present in sorrow, and-at the very least-that there is solid ground beneath to fall on when those breath-snatching kicks feel so tangible and painful. I’m praying for your week.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 27, 2016

      Emily, thank you – I find knowing that the Lord see and knows very comforting. He’s a good Father.

      Reply
  9. Pam H.
    October 31, 2016

    Your ability not to kick/box out your TV/wii shows tremendous patience and faith in God that He gathers your tears and covers your pain. Thank you for bearing your heart to us.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *