Getting Lots of Practice

It’s early in the morning, and I’m looking ahead to a day that is going to be filled with people – lots of people.  From the Sears repair man who will arrive sometime between eight and noon, to the friends coming over for dinner.  In between will be our special friend, Gretchen, Sunshine’s Bible study group, and later, her best friend, Happy, who is coming over after school.  Not to mention my own kids and Russ.

I’m an extrovert, for the most part, so being with lots of friends is pretty good for me.  However, it gives me so many more occasions to sin – to speak sharply to my children, get frazzled and grumpy as I make dinner, and not be as generous and kind toward Russ as I should be.  It’s amazing how easy it is to be kind, patient, and self-controlled when nobody is around.

This is the kind of day when I get to practice breathing deeply, staying calm, giving my children gentle and loving eyes, stopping to truly listen to them, and being fully present with my family and friends.  When I made my list of tasks for today, I tried to be realistic, that there really won’t be time for much more than some basic homeschooling, a bit of cleaning, and lots of food preparation.

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I’ve almost finished reading Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children by Daniel Hughes, and just ordered his book, Attachment-Focused Parenting.  My goal each day is to read my  Bible, a chapter or so of a book that is for my education, and if a tiny slice of time remains, I squeeze in a bit of my book group book, which is currently, Unbroken.

What are you reading these days?

Happy Friday, friends.

Lisa

 

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. Debbie
    February 1, 2013

    Our Friday is filled with sorrow as it is our last day with our 22 month old foster. She has been with us 11 months and we have struggled through ambivalent attachment issues to happy (mostly) toddler. It's a hard day. She leaves us tomorrow morning to live with relatives in NC. Thank you for mentioning those books, I will be looking into them.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      February 1, 2013

      Oh Debbie, I'm so sorry for your sorrow. What a gift you've given that little girl – an investment not only in her future, but generations that will follow. God be with you today.

      Reply
  2. Laurel
    February 1, 2013

    I just finished an EXCELLENT book late last night (my quiet reading time is usually from about 11:00 – 1:00. 🙂

    "Miracle for Jen" is about a teenage girl who was in a serious car accident. It nearly took her life, but left her with significant brain damage. However, it also left her with the most AMAZING relationship with the Lord. (While in the hospital, and coming out of a coma, she rarely spoke to anyone . . . but in the middle of the night she would wake up and speak clearly as she sang or prayed to the Lord for an hour or more.)

    This book was a huge encouragement to me as we are walking through the trials that our family faces.

    Laurel

    Reply
  3. Chrissy
    February 1, 2013

    I just received Building the Bonds of attachment in the mail! I'm currently reading Beyond Consequences.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      February 1, 2013

      I would love to hear what you think of it, Chrissy.

      Reply
  4. Emily
    February 1, 2013

    "I *get to* practice"… I love your choice of positivity 🙂

    Reply
  5. linedancergal
    February 1, 2013

    Mostly for fun I like reading kids books! I used to run the school library and read every book that went into it.
    At the moment I am also reading The Politically Incorrect Guide to Teenagers. Quite funny and a bit scary too. My boys had better not try all that stuff! (No sign of it so far though and they are 12 1/2 & 14 1/2).

    Reply
  6. SleepyKnitter
    February 1, 2013

    Reading Jean Ayers’ classic, Sensory Integration and the Child, 25th Anniversary edition, which is painting a portrait of our precious middle child page by page. Just haven’t yet reached the page on which Ayers tells me how to fix all these struggles. 🙂

    I hope your practice session went well today!

    Reply
  7. Paula
    February 1, 2013

    As an introvert, the day you just described would make me want to go to bed and lock the door to my room. 🙂 Hope you had a great day.

    Reply
  8. Jodi
    February 2, 2013

    I am so enjoying your blog! Positive, realistic, encouraging… with ideas for educating myself. Great stuff!! "Unbroken" is an incredible book — my husband and I read it together when it first came out… and then one of my daughters ended up reading it for school, too. A great story with a positive message. I will have to look into the other books you've listed. This is the first I've even heard of that author! Thank you, Lisa, for sharing your journey with the rest of us. It's invaluable.

    Reply
  9. Margaret
    February 2, 2013

    Lisa, thanks for the inspiration to see these kinds of challenges as practice. I am so grateful for this blog.

    Reply
  10. Lili
    February 2, 2013

    I just finished Unbroken. It is so good! I've been driving 4 hours every other week to take my son to psychologist appointments, so I rented the mp3 and listened to it. Finished it up cleaning and doing dishes. You should try it if you can't squeeze in the reading! 🙂

    Reply

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