Feeling Quiet

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Well friends, I’m feeling very quiet these days, hence the lack of blog posts. I can’t explain why I feel this way – grief, life, depression, kids? Who knows? But I’ve decided to let myself be quiet and not worry or push myself too much.

I’m used to living at a fast pace, but I’m slowing down, staying home, reading books, and, for the most part, avoiding social media.

I feel alternately guilty and relieved.

I may feel better tomorrow and you’ll be hit with a slew of blog posts, or I may take the rest of the week off. I’ve published over 1700 posts, so chances are good that I’m not about to quit.

I bought some orange tulips (Kalkidan loved orange), and I’ve been lighting my Pumpkin Apple candle each day. I decided I should drink more tea,  so I bought an electric tea kettle, which has me considering going back to making french press coffee and ditching my coffee maker.

Thanks for your kindness to me; for sticking with me even when I don’t post for awhile. Your prayers and comments are always a gift.

A big hug from me to you.

Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

33 Comments

  1. Sue
    October 13, 2015

    God bless you, Lisa. I have come to realize that grieving is not a linear process. Sometimes it sneaks up on you and just as quickly disappears. Other times, it takes hold and feels like it will never let go. Take all the time you need. We will be here, praying for you, whenever you get back.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 13, 2015

      Thank you, Sue. Whatever this is, probably grief, it feels like it's here to stay for awhile. I appreciate your prayers and reassurance.

      Reply
  2. Anita
    October 13, 2015

    Prayers will be sent on your behalf, whether you are here posting or not. Take good care, take the time needed. Care and hugs to you always.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 14, 2015

      Thank you, Anita.

      Reply
  3. Pam
    October 13, 2015

    Take your time – there is no such thing as a time limit on grief. The depths of grief are always changing and not something we can get over, just a new way of living. Your blog is the first one I began following earlier this summer; you won't lose us – we will be praying. Take your time…

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 14, 2015

      Pam, I appreciate your words. Thank you.

      Reply
  4. Erika
    October 13, 2015

    I was thinking about you today- really I was! Wondering if you're okay, and thinking about how much pain and sorrow and love and joy you've experienced. You are so loved.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 14, 2015

      Thank you, Erika. I just read your post yesterday and was thinking about you too.

      Reply
  5. michelle
    October 13, 2015

    Just to offer affirmation and encouragement…like Sue said, take the time you need, however long it needs to be. Don't let a shred of guilt shadow it. Don't worry about blog posts. (Your faithful followers will remain just that and will understand.) Perhaps this season is a very crucial time to pause…before the holidays make it very difficult and before you face the next significant anniversary date. I think your mind, heart & body would need this time… Praying God's peace and healing for you…

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 14, 2015

      Michelle, I'm pretty sure that Kalkidan's approaching birthday is hitting me hard. And then there will be the holidays, and the anniversary of the accident. After that it will be my son, Nick's birthday. So much in the next few months.

      Reply
  6. Sarah
    October 14, 2015

    Oh Lisa, you never have to apologize for anything, You what you need, and we will continue to pray. I leave you with the famous words of Qohelet (Ecclesiastes to you): "To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven."

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 14, 2015

      If only we could choose how the seasons feel….thank you, Sarah.

      Reply
  7. Sarah Bramblett
    October 14, 2015

    We know these phases of grief but have a hard time applying them to ourselves:))
    It makes sense that Quiet would follow: shock, numb, confusion, and sadness. I hope
    You find more peace and have more sweet truth moments with The Lord during
    this Quiet, that will reorder your thoughts and emotions for greater
    Healing. You are appreciated. You place will always be valued. Take your time:))

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 14, 2015

      Thanks for reminding me about the phases of grief, Sarah. I know them, but I forget.

      Reply
  8. KMcD
    October 14, 2015

    Take as much time as you need. Praying for you.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 14, 2015

      Thank you for your prayers.

      Reply
  9. Angela
    October 14, 2015

    Dear sweet, Lisa, you take all the time you need! We all love and appreciate you. Grieving is exhausting work. Rest and go easy on yourself. Grief will ease up when it's time, but right now it has a job to do. That job is healing your precious heart!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 14, 2015

      Angela, thank you. I'm really not liking this at all.

      Reply
  10. Ann
    October 14, 2015

    Lisa, take all the time you need. Your post made me think of the book Tear Soup and how grief comes out in so many ways and everyone has their own recipe for grief. Know that you are loved and prayed for. I'm proud of you for listening to your heart and body. Hugs.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 16, 2015

      We love that book, Ann. Claire has read it many times, and even has read it aloud to the boys. Thank you for remembering me in prayer.

      Reply
  11. Abbey Bisschop
    October 14, 2015

    Love you, Lisa!

    Reply
  12. Karen Inch
    October 14, 2015

    However you are feeling is okay. We love you!!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 16, 2015

      Karen, thank you. I am truly so thankful for everyone.

      Reply
  13. janet3will
    October 14, 2015

    A big hug right back to you. I think of you often and will continue to hold you in prayer.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 16, 2015

      thank you, Janet.

      Reply
  14. Tricia
    October 15, 2015

    Lisa, I wrote a blog post this AM called Discovering that which fills (my soul, that is). Maybe in this season, you may want to concentrate on this too. Pumpkin apple candles, orange tulips and tea sound like a great start. Be gentle with yourself. You have been through so much.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 16, 2015

      Thank you, Tricia. I'll hop over and read. Could you post a link for everyone here?

      Reply
  15. Pam
    October 16, 2015

    Dear Lisa, You are on my heart today and I am lifting you up in prayer right this moment. Praying for you and your family and reminding you that it is just okay to cry.

    I've been going through papers recently – to organize and throw out – and yesterday a paper from my daughter's nursery school (from 1991) brought me to tears as I remembered her life back then when her daddy was still alive. Then I could no longer control the tears when I turned it over and saw my husband's handwriting on the back – an every-day-kind-of-note – he had written to me. He passed away 11/15/93, and we miss him every day – even now.

    With your family losing your sweet little girl and your son soon after, and it being so completely unexpected (I had time to prepare with my husband), I know the pain has got to be so much worse, the shock, the inability to process how complete your loss is. I know the Bible says that in heaven there are no tears, but just now when I was praying for you, I saw you and God hugging each other, and I saw Him crying too – not for Kalkidan and your son – but with you.

    Will keep you in our prayers. (You don't have to post this.)

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 16, 2015

      Pam, I was reading your lovely comment, and came to your words about the Lord holding me and crying with me. Now I'm crying too – but in a good way. Thank you for sharing about your loss and the emotions you still feel. I hope it's okay that I'm posting this – let me know if you want me to take it down.

      Reply
  16. Lisa Qualls
    October 16, 2015

    Love you too, Abbey.

    Reply
  17. Tricia
    October 16, 2015

    Lisa – here is the link – inpursuitofatoolbox.com

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      October 17, 2015

      thank you

      Reply
  18. Lisa Qualls
    October 19, 2015

    Thank you, Anna.

    Reply

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