Dimples’ Visit

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Dimples is coming home for a visit tomorrow and bringing her therapist along. They arrive Friday afternoon and stay through Sunday morning.

We had a long conversation Monday evening, talking through some of the details, and she doesn’t like some of the changes we’re making at home. The garage remodel hasn’t been started, so her new bedroom won’t be ready. Samuel and Isaiah are giving her their room for the weekend, which she is unhappy about, but it’s the best we can do right now. We have to practice the new way our family is going to live when she actually comes home.

Safety for everyone is non-negotiable, and having bedrooms that can be a haven for the children is essential. The children need to know that when times are difficult, they can go to their room and know that they are safe. Dimples needs a room where she can feel safe and know she has the tools she needs to regulate herself. Bedrooms are going to be off limits for play, at least for now.

At one point she refused to come for the visit. Lots of arguing ensued, but eventually she was able to adjust and agree that even if it isn’t the way she wants it to be, she can give it a try.

The plan for the weekend is very low-key. Family dinner is planned for Saturday night, so that morning we’ll go to the grocery store (she is very excited about that), and spend the afternoon cooking and preparing. Since this is a time focused on family, she’ll only be seeing a few extra people. Signe is coming over with Happy (who is both Sunshine and Dimples’ closest friend) and we’re planning a Thanksgiving craft for the girls to do together. Aunt Michele is coming too.

We’ll all go to church Sunday morning and they’ll head back to MT shortly afterward.

The visit will give us an opportunity to begin figuring out what the greatest challenges are going to be and developing strategies. My greatest concerns are dealing with food, bedtime, and competition over time and attention. I don’t expect any big behaviors in this short visit, and think that we’ll all be encouraged.

Bee and I have an appointment today which will give us a few hours together. Sometimes she loves being with me, other times, not at all. We’ll see how this afternoon goes.

Have a wonderful Thursday, friends.

Lisa

 

 

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

14 Comments

  1. Jennifer Shapiro Isaac
    November 7, 2013

    Praying for you and all the kids!

    Reply
  2. Deborah
    November 7, 2013

    Wow Lisa – I will start my continuous prayers for you right now. I can only imagine that the fluttering in your stomach is more along the line of bats than butterflies. Best advice I can give is to continue to trust God to keep of all you safe and protected. Prayers up prayers up prayers up!

    Reply
  3. Kathy
    November 7, 2013

    Hopefully it will go smoothy. I would also suggest that she gets to go to the grocery store without other children involved. For us, that is an automatic trigger. Glad her therapist will be coming with her. Transitions and change are rough. This is a brave move and I pray it goes well.

    Reply
  4. Kathleen
    November 7, 2013

    Praying for you friend! Especially that God's presence will be a real joy and comfort to you!

    Reply
  5. Emily B
    November 7, 2013

    I will be bathing the weekend in prayer. Aren't you glad that God already know how it will go, and nothing will be a surprise to Him? Big hugs sent your way from Florida.

    Reply
  6. blesseday
    November 7, 2013

    I am praying for you right now, and will pray for you whenever the Spirit nudges this weekend!

    Reply
  7. Kathleen Fallon Pasakarnis
    November 7, 2013

    Praying for you and your family! May His p
    eace be with you!

    Reply
  8. Luann Yarrow Doman
    November 7, 2013

    Praying that God will do more than you could ask or imagine.

    Reply
  9. Mary
    November 7, 2013

    Will be praying.

    Reply
  10. SleepyKnitter
    November 7, 2013

    Wow, praying for a safe and forward-moving weekend for everyone involved.

    Reply
  11. ERIKA
    November 7, 2013

    Praying!

    God bless you all

    Reply
  12. Jennifer P
    November 7, 2013

    Thank you, LIsa, for sharing this forward progress and the wonderful challenging journey that you are on. Not allowing Dimples, or anyone else, to seek old patterns is so insightful.

    Reply
  13. Laurel
    November 7, 2013

    This seems like a very significant step! I'm happy to hear Dimples is going to visit and am praying for wisdom for you guys and the therapist.

    Reply
  14. Shalom
    November 8, 2013

    Prayers!!! 🙂

    Reply

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