We were sitting at the dining room table with friends when the phone rang. I got up to answer and was surprised to hear Dimples say, “Hi Mom!” She called to wish us Happy Easter. Like every Easter, she knew we had a gathering of friends in our home, and I think she missed being here. This is the first time we’ve had an unplanned call, and it was very sweet for everyone.
Dimples talked to me, asking who was here and what everyone was doing. Then she talked to Russ for several minutes, before wanting to talk to me again. She asked, “Where are you standing right now?” So I described where I was in the kitchen, and as I talked, Bee came in the room to ask a question. Dimples quickly asked, “Who is that? Who are you talking to?” I answered that it was Bee, and asked if she wanted to say hello. As soon as I did, I realized that a spontaneous conversation was not part of the plan, but it felt so strange to let the moment pass.
She definitely wanted to talk, so I asked her to get permission from her case manager. With permission granted – knowing we were flying by the seat of our pants – I gave Bee the phone and told her she could say hello and talk for a moment. She managed to chat for about two minutes before getting so choked up with tears that she handed the phone back to me.
Then it hit me, if Sunshine didn’t get to say hello, she was going to be crushed. I sent Bee running for Sunshine, who came racing up to the house with Happy (Sunshine and Dimples’ friend). Each girl said hello and chatted for a minute. Dimples’ voice was happy.
Warmed by success, I took the phone into the dining room and told everyone Dimples was on the phone and they all called out together, “Hi Dimples!” and my dear friend Doris added, “We miss you!”
It meant the world to me to be surrounded by friends who love Dimples like their own. My heart was full – with the unexpected call, a spontaneous moment for the sisters to connect, and for friends who have known us and loved us since we moved here 13 years ago. They’ve seen us through so much, and now they are with us on this journey of healing for our daughter.
Our good call was followed by a not-so-good one on our weekly Monday call. She refused to talk to us, only briefly answering questions. We may try again later this week.
I didn’t plan to take so many days off from blogging, but my days have been full. Easter was wonderful. Now I’m preparing to travel for the Embracing Orphans Retreat in Estes Park, CO. I’m speaking Friday night and giving a workshop on Saturday. I have lots to do before I go!
Lisa
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April 2, 2013
It just made me happy to read this. 🙂
April 2, 2013
Thanks, Paula. It was a happy moment.
April 2, 2013
Tears of happiness and joy for you in the unexpected Blessing!
April 2, 2013
Thanks, Katrina. It was a sweet moment and it's nice to have those to hold on to in the hard times.
April 2, 2013
Glad that phone call went well. Shame about the next one. Maybe she'd used up her quota of 'want to talk' for the week. When something is hard or scary, you're not always in the mood for it on a schedule. So glad that you got a phone call simply because she wanted to ring rather than because she was expected to. Hope you have a good time at the retreat.
April 2, 2013
That's a good way to look at it. It probably took a lot of strength to make that call, and then lots of big emotions to process it afterward. This is hard work for Dimples.
April 2, 2013
Wow! What an unexpected gift that Easter call sounds like it ended up being! I'm sorry that the one yesterday didn't go as well.
I pray that just the hurdle of her ::desiring:: to initiate contact, and getting to talk to her sisters (without all the prep and stress they might have felt if they had known it was coming – it being spontaneous might have been a gift for them in an odd way, too!) will be a turning point, even if only in a small way, for you guys as you move forward. And I pray that it'll bring encouragement in the hard moments (like after a call that doesn't go as well!) knowing that she realized she was missing out on being with family and your Easter celebration, etc. That seems like a very positive thing!
Praying for you prepare for your talk – and praying for your health still!
April 2, 2013
Leese, I think you're right that the spontaneous communication was a gift to the girls. Overall, I think it's positive, just hard to process for Dimples. Thank you for your prayers!
April 2, 2013
Such a beautiful post! I’m sorry the one on Monday was not so good, but thrilled to hear of the Sunday call. May God continue to work in Dimples’ mind and heart, healing her on a deeper level with each passing day.
April 2, 2013
Thank you so much. I wonder if she will ask her counselor if she can call again this week. We'll see.
April 2, 2013
What a wonderful call to receive! Sorry to hear the next one didn't go so well. Such hard work.
April 2, 2013
Tiny steps forward and back. Thanks, Sharon.
April 2, 2013
So happy for that moment of normal family love shared! Happy Easter!
April 2, 2013
So happy you received that special blessing from her on Easter! I hope the sweet memory helps carry you through even the not-so-good calls in between. I'm sure that's tough.
On another note, I've been so curious to know (if I may ask) what prompted the decision to remove Dimples' locs? I hate asking as if it's any of my business, but I really am just curious. I remember your first post about them and wondered if it was a therapeutic decision in her current circumstance that led to the decision to un-loc them?
April 3, 2013
That is a good question, Michelle. Dimples really wanted to have the locs taken out – which is sad to me because I thought they were beautiful. The staff was willing to support her and teach her how to take care of her hair, so we agreed to let them remove the locs. I don't know if this was a good decision or not, I may regret it horribly when Dimples moves home, but I wanted to affirm her request and give her voice – so we agreed. Maybe one day she'll ask for locs again – I kind of hope so.
April 3, 2013
I agree with you that they were beautiful on her. I also admire & respect your decision to give her the choice. I imagine this has got to be one of the tougher aspects of parenting…allowing independence in areas knowing we could experience regret. I pray regardless of what happens, that you won't have to feel this regret. And will hope with you that she might come to see the benefit & beauty in them on her own. My two young kids are two & four and I know I've got the toughest part of the parenting journey ahead of me. I follow your blog regularly and am often challenged & inspired by what you share. Thank you for sharing on such a vulnerable level. I don't take it for granted. I am often amazed by what God accomplishes through you. Ten of me couldn't do what you do in one week. 🙂 Thank you for answering my question!!