Dimples Called

We were sitting at the dining room table with friends when the phone rang. I got up to answer and was surprised  to hear Dimples say, “Hi Mom!” She called to wish us Happy Easter. Like every Easter, she knew we had a gathering of friends in our home, and I think she missed being here. This is the first time we’ve had an unplanned call, and it was very sweet for everyone.

Dimples talked to me, asking who was here and what everyone was doing. Then she talked to Russ for several minutes, before wanting to talk to me again. She asked, “Where are you standing right now?” So I described where I was in the kitchen, and as I talked, Bee came in the room to ask a question. Dimples quickly asked, “Who is that? Who are you talking to?” I answered that it was Bee, and asked if she wanted to say hello. As soon as I did, I realized that a spontaneous conversation was not part of the plan, but it felt so strange to let the moment pass.

She definitely wanted to talk, so I asked her to get permission from her case manager. With permission granted – knowing we were flying by the seat of our pants – I gave Bee the phone and told her she could say hello and talk for a moment. She managed to chat for about two minutes before getting so choked up with tears that she handed the phone back to me.

Then it hit me, if Sunshine didn’t get to say hello, she was going to be crushed. I sent Bee running for Sunshine, who came racing up to the house with Happy (Sunshine and Dimples’ friend). Each girl said hello and chatted for a minute.  Dimples’ voice was happy.

Warmed by success, I took the phone into the dining room and told everyone Dimples was on the phone and they all called out together, “Hi Dimples!” and my dear friend Doris added, “We miss you!”

It meant the world to me to be surrounded by friends who love Dimples like their own. My heart was full – with the unexpected call, a spontaneous moment for the sisters to connect, and for friends who have known us and loved us since we moved here 13 years ago. They’ve seen us through so much, and now they are with us on this journey of healing for our daughter.

Our good call was followed by a not-so-good one on our weekly Monday call. She refused to talk to us, only briefly answering questions. We may try again later this week.

I didn’t plan to take so many days off from blogging, but my days have been full. Easter was wonderful. Now I’m preparing to travel for the Embracing Orphans Retreat in Estes Park, CO. I’m speaking Friday night and giving a workshop on Saturday. I have lots to do before I go!

Lisa

This post may contain Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

16 Comments

  1. Paula Miles Spears
    April 2, 2013

    It just made me happy to read this. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      April 2, 2013

      Thanks, Paula. It was a happy moment.

      Reply
  2. Katrina
    April 2, 2013

    Tears of happiness and joy for you in the unexpected Blessing!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      April 2, 2013

      Thanks, Katrina. It was a sweet moment and it's nice to have those to hold on to in the hard times.

      Reply
  3. linedancergal
    April 2, 2013

    Glad that phone call went well. Shame about the next one. Maybe she'd used up her quota of 'want to talk' for the week. When something is hard or scary, you're not always in the mood for it on a schedule. So glad that you got a phone call simply because she wanted to ring rather than because she was expected to. Hope you have a good time at the retreat.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      April 2, 2013

      That's a good way to look at it. It probably took a lot of strength to make that call, and then lots of big emotions to process it afterward. This is hard work for Dimples.

      Reply
  4. Leese
    April 2, 2013

    Wow! What an unexpected gift that Easter call sounds like it ended up being! I'm sorry that the one yesterday didn't go as well.

    I pray that just the hurdle of her ::desiring:: to initiate contact, and getting to talk to her sisters (without all the prep and stress they might have felt if they had known it was coming – it being spontaneous might have been a gift for them in an odd way, too!) will be a turning point, even if only in a small way, for you guys as you move forward. And I pray that it'll bring encouragement in the hard moments (like after a call that doesn't go as well!) knowing that she realized she was missing out on being with family and your Easter celebration, etc. That seems like a very positive thing!

    Praying for you prepare for your talk – and praying for your health still!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      April 2, 2013

      Leese, I think you're right that the spontaneous communication was a gift to the girls. Overall, I think it's positive, just hard to process for Dimples. Thank you for your prayers!

      Reply
  5. SleepyKnitter
    April 2, 2013

    Such a beautiful post! I’m sorry the one on Monday was not so good, but thrilled to hear of the Sunday call. May God continue to work in Dimples’ mind and heart, healing her on a deeper level with each passing day.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      April 2, 2013

      Thank you so much. I wonder if she will ask her counselor if she can call again this week. We'll see.

      Reply
  6. Sharon
    April 2, 2013

    What a wonderful call to receive! Sorry to hear the next one didn't go so well. Such hard work.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      April 2, 2013

      Tiny steps forward and back. Thanks, Sharon.

      Reply
  7. Blessed
    April 2, 2013

    So happy for that moment of normal family love shared! Happy Easter!

    Reply
  8. michelle
    April 2, 2013

    So happy you received that special blessing from her on Easter! I hope the sweet memory helps carry you through even the not-so-good calls in between. I'm sure that's tough.

    On another note, I've been so curious to know (if I may ask) what prompted the decision to remove Dimples' locs? I hate asking as if it's any of my business, but I really am just curious. I remember your first post about them and wondered if it was a therapeutic decision in her current circumstance that led to the decision to un-loc them?

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      April 3, 2013

      That is a good question, Michelle. Dimples really wanted to have the locs taken out – which is sad to me because I thought they were beautiful. The staff was willing to support her and teach her how to take care of her hair, so we agreed to let them remove the locs. I don't know if this was a good decision or not, I may regret it horribly when Dimples moves home, but I wanted to affirm her request and give her voice – so we agreed. Maybe one day she'll ask for locs again – I kind of hope so.

      Reply
      1. michelle
        April 3, 2013

        I agree with you that they were beautiful on her. I also admire & respect your decision to give her the choice. I imagine this has got to be one of the tougher aspects of parenting…allowing independence in areas knowing we could experience regret. I pray regardless of what happens, that you won't have to feel this regret. And will hope with you that she might come to see the benefit & beauty in them on her own. My two young kids are two & four and I know I've got the toughest part of the parenting journey ahead of me. I follow your blog regularly and am often challenged & inspired by what you share. Thank you for sharing on such a vulnerable level. I don't take it for granted. I am often amazed by what God accomplishes through you. Ten of me couldn't do what you do in one week. 🙂 Thank you for answering my question!!

        Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

I accept the Privacy Policy