Deborah Gray: Help for the Holidays

Deborah Gray
(one of my heroes) has written a great resource:

Holiday Help for Your Family

[note: I apologize for the broken link! I think it is fixed now.]

Deborah has so much wisdom and when I saw this handout, I knew it would benefit some of you, maybe even most of you.

My favorite tip is, “Anxious children like to know what their part is in any new event.”

This is very true with my little ones. If she gets too anxious, Dimples will literally say, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.” Our children who have suffered trauma need us to guide them and show them just what they can do in a new situation. Sometimes they miss the point, and don’t know when an event is just plain fun, because they are so busy scanning the situation trying to figure out their role and what is going to happen next.

I hope you find some tips from Deborah that make your holiday season a little bit happier for you and your children. As with Karyn Purvis‘ book, which I mentioned earlier this week, Deborah’s books are two of my most used resources. They sit on my desk next to The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family, and other great books that I find helpful or have good intentions of reading “soon”.

[This post contains Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.]


This post may contain Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.


  1. Staci
    December 17, 2009

    Lisa, the link to the handout doesn't seem to be working… I'd love to read it, though.

  2. Andrea
    December 17, 2009

    That was awesome, thank you! Some great info as usual! ;o)

  3. Mommy
    December 17, 2009

    I just began scanning the handout, and I realized that I fit the description of the traumatized kid better than my kids do. Then I realized that I do have my own "traumatic" events regarding their adoptions that happened during the holiday season, and I'm having my own anniversary stress. Thank you for posting so that I could figure this out. =)


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