The Connected Parent
Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment
by Karyn Purvis, PhD and Lisa Qualls
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Available in paperback and ebook from Harvest House Publishers. Audiobook coming soon!
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There is hope for every child, every parent, and every family.
Parenting under the best of circumstances can be difficult. And raising children who have come to your home from “hard places,” who have their own set of unique needs, brings even more challenges. You may have discovered that the techniques that worked with your birth children are not working with your adopted or foster child.
Renowned child-development expert Dr. Karyn Purvis gives you practical advice and powerful tools you can use to encourage secure attachment in your family. You will benefit from Karyn’s decades of clinical research and real-world experience. Coauthor Lisa Qualls demonstrates how you can successfully implement these strategies in your home, just as she did in hers.
You will learn how to:
simplify your approach using scripts
nurture your child
combat chronic fear
develop other valuable skills to add to your parenting toolbox
The Connected Parent will help you lovingly guide your children and bring renewed hope and healing to your family.
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Katie Davis Majors
Best-selling author of Kisses from Katie and Daring to Hope
The Connected Child is the most ragged, worn-out book in my house because I referred to it over and over in moments of desperation in parenting children from hard places. The Connected Parent will soon look the same, as it is full of wisdom and insight that I will refer to continually. This book is for all parents who long to love their children with compassion and tenderness…
Dr. Purvis’s first book The Connected Child is the most ragged, worn-out book in my house because I referred to it over and over again in moments of desperation in parenting children from hard places. The Connected Parent will soon look the same, as it is full of wisdom and insight that I will refer back to again and again. This book is for all parents who long to love their children with compassion and tenderness. I’m so thankful that the work of Dr. Purvis lives on through Lisa Qualls and this book!
Daniel Hughes, PhD
Author of Building the Bonds of Attachment
Founder of Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy
To connect with [children from hard places], we need to understand and attend to their underlying fear and shame while ensuring that we are approachable and trustworthy ourselves. Karyn and Lisa remind us again and again about the power of relationships in promoting healing and development, and they provide many practical strategies to assist us in our journey…
“Providing care for children who come from ‘hard places’ isn’t easy. These children think and act with few assumptions of safety and trust. To connect with these children, we need to understand and attend to their underlying fear and shame while ensuring that we are approachable and trustworthy ourselves. Karyn and Lisa remind us again and again about the power of relationships in promoting healing and development, and they provide many practical strategies to assist us in our journey. They also remind us also of the need to begin at the beginning, creating safety and connection, balancing nurture with predictability and structure, while modeling the attitude and behaviors we hope to teach. The Connected Parent complements Karyn’s earlier work, The Connected Child, and highlights the need for parents to understand and care for themselves while providing their children with the comfort and joy they desperately need. This journey may be hard, so you would do well to keep this book at your side.”
Mary Beth Chapman
Co-founder of Show Hope
As much as parents may want love to be the driving force when caring for children from hard places, it is simply not enough. This book hits on so many topics close to our own hearts and personal story… the examples found in this book are real-life stories of what it looks like to walk through the hardest places and have hope to bring healing that is so desperately needed.
As much as parents may want love to be the driving force when caring for children from hard places, it is simply not enough. This book hits on so many topics close to our own hearts and personal story. While each family’s story is vastly different, the examples found in this book are real-life stories of what it looks like to walk through the hardest places and have hope to bring healing that is so desperately needed. Thank you for an amazing resource that the adoption community can use on their own path towards healing.
Founder of ADOPT CHANGE and Hopeland
Tragically, so many traumatized children are often greatly misunderstood. Dr. Karyn Purvis knew how to reach these children and begin the process of healing. In her last written work, The Connected Parent, Dr. Purvis shares her wisdom and expertise for working with children who have experienced trauma. She had a heart as big as Texas, and we are so thrilled that her work continues to help vulnerable children and families all around the world.
Kent Hoffman, PhD
Co-founder of Circle of Security
Author of Raising a Secure Child
“The deeply rich and nuanced skill set required for offering secure parenting to children with trauma has too often been left to common sense. But now, Karyn Purvis and Lisa Qualls provide a wealth of research-based expertise and personal experience that will change the life of any adult caring for a child who knows ‘hard places.’ They offer a wide variety of practical tools for understanding the core (and often hidden) needs of children struggling with trauma. Their compassionate, wise, and clinically proven step-by-step options can alter the outcome of any child’s life. My deep gratitude to Karyn Purvis and Lisa Qualls for making this practical and life-altering option available in such a clear, accessible, and compassionate way.”
Founder of Noonday Collection
Author of Imperfect Courage
“The Connected Child was a life changer for my family—what a gift that we now get the incredible continuation of Dr. Purvis’s work in The Connected Parent. Her rich knowledge of attachment, sensory processing, and neuroscience as they relate to relational trauma are brought to life with Lisa Qualls’s abundant and heart-filled stories. Written with compassion and empathy, The Connected Parent will serve as a necessary resource for adoptive and foster families for generations to come!”
Author of Foster the Family
This is the book foster and adoptive parents have waited for. Dr. Karyn Purvis taught so many of us about our children and how to play a part in their healing. Receiving more insight and instruction from Dr. Purvis posthumously is an unexpected gift, and it is made complete by the compassionate wisdom and experience of fellow foster and adoptive mother Lisa Qualls. Together, their voices create a more complete roadmap for foster and adoptive parents as they love and parent children from hard places.
Author of Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
“Lisa Qualls has done a masterful job of weaving her family’s story together with the powerful legacy of the late Dr. Karyn Purvis. A must-read for parents who long to attach successfully to their adopted kids.”
Author of Reframing Foster Care
“In The Connected Parent, the truth of psychology and clinical research is paired with the grace of real-life-in-the-trenches parenting in such a way that all who read it will feel better equipped to care for children from “hard places”—and empowered to reject the whispers of shame and failure they will inevitably confront along the journey. This is a must-have book.”
Author of Wounded Children, Healing Homes
First thoughts as I began to read this book – “YES, YES.” This amazing work continues the legacy of Dr. Karyn Purvis and her ground-breaking techniques in helping children and families do the work of healing. Joining with Dr. Purvis, Lisa brilliantly weaves real-life challenges and strategies through every chapter offering hope and practical, realistic strategies. There are so many uses for this book beyond each individual family it will touch. This will make a great resource for foster and adoptive parent book clubs and support groups. I recommend it highly!!
Author of Start with Amen
Executive Director of Back2Back Ministries
“What a gift this book is to anyone working and living with children from hard places. How many of us have longed for someone whispering in our ear, telling us how to apply Dr. Purvis’s principles in the heat of the moment? Lisa Qualls shares vulnerably about her family in a relatable way, allowing us to learn and be inspired to grow alongside of her. This way of parenting is a game changer, and over the long haul, it brings the peace we long for in our challenging stories.”
Daren Jones, MSW
Training Specialist at the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development
“Dr. Karyn Purvis and Lisa Qualls have written a must-read for adults who want to understand how to serve and love children as well as themselves. This book gives adults permission to embark on a journey of self-discovery as they usher children through their own journey. Such a practical and sophisticated book…a gift of love to the world.”
Deborah Gray, MSW
Author of Attaching in Adoption and Attaching with Love, Hugs, and Play
“This gem of a book provides parents with a holistic, research-based parenting approach for children who have endured trauma. Karyn Purvis’s clear voice provides the science behind children’s struggles and effective parenting approaches. Lisa brings the book home with her scripts, examples, and tips on behavioral interventions. The authors connect aptly with their readers even as they help us to connect with children. This compassionate book touched my heart. I am grateful to Karyn Purvis for her legacy through this book, made the richer through joint authorship by Lisa Qualls.”
Dr. Karyn Purvis, PhD
Karyn was an authoritative speaker, writer, trainer, and passionate advocate for children. Her work has been featured in Newsweek, Focus on the Family, Dateline, and countless other media outlets. She was the founder of the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development at Texas Christian University where her tireless devotion to loving and serving children continues to flourish.
Karyn’s book The Connected Child remains a bestseller over a decade post-publication.
Lisa and her husband, Russ, are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. She is the creator of the One Thankful Mom website and a popular speaker at events for adoptive and foster parents. She is also the cofounder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. Using her training as a TBRI Practioner and her Enneagram certification, Lisa coaches and encourages adoptive parents so they can find courage and hope in their journeys of loving their children well.
You can find her at OneThankfulMom.com