I had a post nearly ready to go this morning, but when I read it one last time, I decided it was too somber for Monday morning. This place gives me the space to reflect, to grieve through my words, but I want you to know that we are not mourning every moment of every day.
I’m so glad that I went to Boise to watch Annarose compete in the state track meet. I drove down with a new friend and had six hours of great conversation. We met up with other friends and had dinner together. The next morning we were at the track early enough to watch the pole vaulters warm up. Annarose cleared her PR height on her first vault, sailing over the bar with ease, which was very exciting. She didn’t make a new PR, but she was happy with her performance, and loved being with her team at the state meet.
Signe’s daughter was running in a race that afternoon, so we had several hours to wait. We managed to warm up at Whole Foods while sipping coffee and smoothies. I had much more time with Annarose than I anticipated and even took her to lunch. We took some fun pictures too.
The drive back was hard for me. At times it was raining so heavily that it was difficult to see the road. I did a lot of praying and tried not to be anxious. Just driving at highway speeds is still a challenge – everything feels out of control. I struggle with knowing that I really have no control at all.
I had my share of tears this weekend, sometimes when I least expected them.
– When I watched the athletes compete at the state track meet, knowing that Kalkidan will never get to experience that joy. She loved being an athlete.
– When Annarose asked me to take a picture of her pole vault shirt, dedicated to Kalkidan
– When Signe and I talked over coffee while warming up after a cool morning
– When Michele’s mom hugged me and told me how sad they were when they heard the news
– After Sunday dinner when Russ and his Dad walked out to the place where Kalkidan is buried
Yet, there is lots of joy too. We’re in the home stretch of Annarose’s senior year; graduation is June 5th. She’s won some fabulous scholarships, one of which requires another trip to Boise for a ceremony at the state capitol.
It’s Monday morning, the kids are rushing through their chores and I’m going to join them in the kitchen to read a psalm and a chapter of Prince Caspian. Then they’ll be out the door for another school day. Isaiah is coming over to prep books for sale on Amazon, and Noah and Katie are coming to do laundry; They’re in the midst of packing for their move to Seattle. It’s going to be a full day.
Have a wonderful start to your week, friends.
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