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January 13, 2021 Uncategorized Post a Comment

My Word for 2021

Pause

It’s taken me a while to find my word for 2021. But several things dropped into place giving me a clearer vision, and “Pause” is the answer.

I want to Pause in several areas of my life.

Relational: I want to Pause when interacting, especially when tension is high. In that Pause, I can choose to respond rather than react. Last night, the final thing I did before going to bed was apologize to my son for the way I had reacted to him earlier that evening. A two-second pause would have made all the difference.

Spiritual:  Friends reminded me of the beauty of sabbath. Our family has gotten away from the joy of a day to rest from work and enjoy each other. I’m finding my way back.

After reading through the Bible in 2020, I’m also slowing down and settling more deeply into a smaller portion of the Word. I’m taking more time to pray and listen to the Lord.

Physical: The first book I read in 2021 was Why We Sleep. I’ve struggled with sleep for years and I know it’s important. But I didn’t realize how profoundly essential sleep is for our physical and mental health. Russ and I have set a 9:00 bedtime giving us the opportunity for eight hours of sleep. We’re Pausing our evenings earlier and making sleep a priority.

Emotional: Often I set my feelings aside and press on with my work-it’s the Enneagram 3 in me. I’m learning to Pause and feel my feelings, even when they hurt. Over the holidays I had a very sad day. I consciously let those feelings come, telling myself, “Feelings come and go,” knowing the deep sadness would lift.

Vocational: I’m choosing a slower pace in 2021. In preparation for the book launch, I got some great advice, “Say yes to everything.” And I did. Even without travel, book signings, and conferences, I managed to pack my days. It was exhilarating, exhausting, and totally worth it. Now I’m slowing my pace, taking more time for thinking, writing, and people.

Is there an area of your life you need to Pause?

Do you have a word for 2021? Tell me in the comments, I’d love to hear.

I hope your year is off to a hopeful start.

With love,

Lisa

August 3, 2020 adoption and foster care Post a Comment

The Connected Parent, Dr.Karyn Purvis, and Confetti

It’s been a confetti kind of month! My family celebrated our happiness in a big Covid-style way.

Nearly one month ago The Connected Parent released into the world. After eight years of work, the book was born. There were many times when I didn’t know if it would be completed and I’m deeply thankful to God for allowing this dream to be fulfilled.

I’m also thankful to you. I truly have the best readers in the world. Many of you have been with me for years and that means more than you can imagine. The most helpful thing you can do for the book is to leave a review on Amazon. It helps the book continue to gain traction.

Dr. Karyn Purvis was a gift to the world. Together with Dr. David Cross, she developed Trust-Based Relational Intervention, an attachment-based, trauma-informed intervention designed to meet the complex needs of vulnerable children. I met her through Empowered to Connect when we were speaking together.

I had an idea for a book combining her incredible scientific knowledge and wisdom with my real-life experiences of a mom doing my best to apply what I had learned. Thankfully, she thought it was a great idea and we started writing in 2012.

Through her cancer treatments and my parenting challenges, we persevered. When we lost our daughter, Kalkidan, in a car accident, I didn’t know if I would ever be able to finish the book. As I recovered I decided to see the book through in honor of Kalkidan and children like her who had experienced early adversity.

Sadly, Dr. Purvis did not live to hold this book in her hands, but her family wanted this final written work published in her honor.

I’ve had a great time being a guest on multiple podcasts since the book released and more are coming soon:

The Real-Mom podcast by Foster the Family
Honestly Adoption
The Empowered Parent
Empowered to Connect
Creating a Family
Orphans No More

Whether you listen to my interview or not, I highly recommend these great podcasts for adoptive and foster parents.

The book is available in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. I was honored to narrate the audiobook myself. It was a joy. I’m hopeful that The Connected Parent will be published in Spanish too!

June 22, 2020 adoption and foster care Post a Comment

Parenting Tip: Simplify with Scripts

One of my favorite parenting tools is scripts. Did you know that when a child is upset her ability to process language is greatly reduced? Scripts are short, concise, easily understood phrases. They’re used to move a child toward optimal behavior through play and nurture.

Because a script is easy to understand, parents don’t have to come up with all of the right words to say. In the same way, children become familiar with the simple phrase and understand its meaning. This helps them feel safe and builds trust.

When you pre-order The Connected Parent, you can download free posters filled with scripts you can use to lovingly guide your child and establish a culture of openness and respect in your home. Plus, you’ll get an informative video showing you how to successfully implement these scripts with your family. 

Find more information HERE – look on the left side of the page.

Preorders are still extremely important. They make all the difference in how the book is ranked when it releases. If you’re planning to get the book, please consider pre-ordering!

With courage and hope,

Lisa

May 26, 2020 adoption and foster care Post a Comment

Quarantine, Family, and a Book Launch

Hello, friend! Are you easing out of quarantine or sheltering in place? For me, it feels more difficult to figure out what to do now that restrictions are changing.

I have big news coming about the book, but let me fill you in on family first!

Since I last posted, Annarose returned home from Mexico for the duration of quarantine. It was very hard for her to leave but the board of her organization said it was time. It’s a joy to have her home. We’re spending lots of time together and even tackling some projects like painting the living room. She also has a gardening job and is enjoying working a few days a week.

Russ and Isaiah have stayed on their regular work schedules. Claire is wrapping up her senior year of high school and working two days a week as a barista. The boys are finishing school and eager to get out to see friends and play basketball. We’ll see how soon that can all happen.

I’ve continued working a lot. With preparations for the release of The Connected Parent, a weekly podcast, the Hope Circle, interviews, and more, my days are overflowing.

And just to make life more exciting, I completed a program to become a Certified Enneagram Coach! The Enneagram is a fantastic tool for personal, relational, and spiritual growth. More news about this to come.

With The Connected Parent coming out in a little more than a month, Harvest House Publishers is gearing up for a big book launch. We’ll be forming a Launch Team soon to help spread the word about the book. I would love to include you! Watch my OTM Facebook page for information, or shoot me an email to let me know you’re interested. [email protected]

Here are a a few resources I’ve created in recent weeks:

Trauma Free World – Learn why you might lose compassion for your child and how to get it back.

A Theology of Hustle podcast – I was a guest on this great podcast.

The Adoption Connection podcast – We’re continuing to release a new episode each week. Here are a few highlights:

Exploring the Complexities of Transracial Adoption with Tara Vandewoude

Pandemic Schooling Advice from a School Counselor with Maria Hansen-Quine

Adoption and Foster Care Book Reviews Just for You with Lanaya Graham

The Enneagram and Adoption with Jeff and Beth McCord

Please subscribe to my weekly email to stay in the loop about the book launch and every other exciting thing! Use the form just below this post or in the sidebar on the right of the page.

I know these days of quarantine have been hard, but if there’s anything we know as parents, we can do hard things!

All my love,

Lisa

March 21, 2020 Uncategorized 2 Comments

Staying Connected While Staying Apart

My friends, it’s been far too long since I’ve written to you. If I had a blog post for every time I’ve thought about writing, you would already be tired of reading.

How are you? How are you holding up?

Do you feel the uncertainty of these days? It seems we swing back and forth from, “Let’s stay home and make cookies!” to “This is serious and people are dying.”

Many times I’m not sure what to feel.

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