Blog Carnival: What No One Told Me About Adoption

Grown in My Heart is sponsoring our first ever Blog Carnival. As one of the writers at GIMH, I have to admit, I didn’t know what a Blog Carnival was when it was suggested, but it looks like it is going to be fun and interesting. Our topic is one that everyone who has been touched by adoption can address:

What No One Told Me About Adoption

No one told me that my belief of “the younger the better” (in terms of attachment) was false. In my experience it is, “the less trauma the better”.

No one could have possibly told me how I would feel when my daughter turned her face toward me for the first time. She took my breath away.

No one told me that the scary books about attachment would become my close companions.

No one told me that once I got it in my mind and heart that my child needed special help, I would become her fiercest advocate and my despair would turn to hope as she began to heal.

No one told me how important caring for my daughters’ hair would become to me, nor the amount of time it would require!

No one told me how hard Russ and I would work to find new ways of parenting our children when the the things that had worked so well with our first seven were not only unsuccessful, but detrimental.

No one told me that I would feel stretched so far, and yet know I was doing just what God had called me to do.

No one told me how satisfying it would be to adopt an older child and watch her learn about family life and American culture at such a rapid pace.

No one told me that blogging about our experience would become my own form of therapy!

No one told me how many wonderful friends we would meet on this journey and how our world would be expanded in so many ways. We are so thankful!

Want to join in? This is how you do it:

1. Write your blog post (on your own site) and publish it.

2. Go to the Grown in My Heart Blog Carnival post by clicking on this link.

3. Click on the green Mr. Linky Badge at the bottom of the post.

4. It will ask for your name (use whatever name you like for yourself/your blog). I used Thankfulmom.

5. It will ask for the URL address for the post you just wrote. Go to your blog and click on your Blog Carnival post. Copy the address for it and paste it into the box on the Mr. Linky site.

6. That’s it! Your post will be linked with all of the others in the Grown in My Heart Blog Carnival.

The next Carnival will be October 8….stay tuned.

~Lisa

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

0 Comments

  1. a Tonggu Momma
    September 18, 2009

    No one told me that the scary books about attachment would become my close companions.

    Isn't that the truth!!! I loved hearing the perspective of a parent with a large family, consisting of biological and adoptive children.

    Reply
  2. malinda
    September 19, 2009

    "No one told me how hard Russ and I would work to find new ways of parenting our children when the the things that had worked so well with our first seven were not only unsuccessful, but detrimental."

    So wise! It pains me to think of the parents who never quite learn this . . . .

    Reply
  3. mom2rebels
    September 21, 2009

    Great post! As someone just beginning the adoption journey, I have enjoyed your blog and learned much…thanks for sharing so openly here.
    "No one told me that my belief of "the younger the better" (in terms of attachment) was false. In my experience it is, "the less trauma the better".
    This is one I was told early on. Our agency supervisor said (in reference to this topic) "Younger doesn't always equal better…it just means you have them longer". We laughed, but also grasped the truth in her words, well as much as we can grasp it on this side of the journey.

    Reply
  4. Stonefox
    October 10, 2009

    I just found you thru the "what I wish I had known" carnival (I'm a little late :)) and I have to say thankyou for the hope your post inspired in me today. I have one adopted and she is the roller coaster in my life!! She has challenged me in ways that I NEVER imagined and there are really no words to describe what the past year and a half has been like.

    After a particularly difficult morning today, I'm in need of some encouragment. Thank you for this post and for blogging about your family. I'm going to see what else I can find in your archives.

    Reply

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