46 More of God’s Days


Why couldn’t God wait until Kalkidan was 96 to take her away? It says in the Bible that a year is like a day to the Lord, so I wish he would have waited at least 46 more of his days. [Wogauyu – age 9]

There’s just no answer to the question Wogauyu asks. God doesn’t tell us why.

He tells us his ways are higher than ours, his thoughts are wiser than ours, and he loves us.

He doesn’t say we have to like it – but that we have to trust him.

We’re surrounded by loss in this broken world.

Yesterday morning Karyn Purvis passed away. She was only 66 and in the midst of amazing work on behalf of children from “hard places.” She was a champion for the wounded and an incredible gift to the world, why would God take her now?

Russ’ father died Easter Sunday after a few months of illness. He was 84, and still, we weren’t ready. We lost Kalkidan, and then my son, Nick.

There have been a lot of tears at our house.

The Word tells us that the Lord cares about the people we love even in their dying, maybe especially in their dying. He is with them every moment. The Word says,

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants. Ps. 116:15

I think about these words too,

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7

These people we love who have gone to heaven before us, they fought the good fight, they finished their race, and they kept the faith. They did all that God asked them to do.

I wonder if when we get to heaven, we’ll feel such immense relief and joy that, like a runner at the end of a painful marathon, we’ll wipe our brow and say, “Whew! That was tough, I’m glad it’s over.”

Because heaven is going to be far better than we imagine, we’ll know only love – no pain, no sorrow. When I feel doubt, I focus on what is true, and right, and good. I read scripture, like this one propped on my kitchen windowsill, written on a sheet of water splashed paper.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Nothing can separate us from the love of God – I cling to that truth.


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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.


  1. Chris Haughee
    April 13, 2016

    I agree with Wogauyu… A few more “days” would have been good. However, there are many days I look to the heavens and ask “How long, O Lord?” Thank you for being part of that light which pushes back the darkness. Let us hold on to the promises of God that nothing will separate is from his love.

    1. Lisa Qualls
      April 13, 2016

      So good to hear from you, Chris. I think of our friends at Intermountain often.

  2. Lori Glasscock
    April 13, 2016

    My heart aches tonight, but these are comforting words. I’m clinging to scripture these days!


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